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can't do what I love most?

Posted by wendyn on 12/02/99 at 00:00 (013319)

You ask if there's anyone facing that they can't do what they love most?

I think this is THE most difficult thing for all of us to accept. Pain is one thing, loss of quality of life is quite another.

I USED to walk (quickly, all the time, everywhere, and for as long as possible). 18 months ago, I was taking 4 or more aerobics/step classes a week, and I never felt better. I live near the mountains, and I could hike and bike ride with my family.

I can't do any of those things any more. It took months for me to accept I was going to have to slow down. I remember my PT suggesting water jogging back in March. I just said 'Yea, okay whatever', walked out thinking 'I don't THINK SO!', and went to a step class that day.

Now I am in the pool 3 times a week!

I have come to a point of acceptance of my present situation. I choose not to believe that my condition is permanent, and I believe that one day I will be able to go back to those activities. If I think long term, and dwell on what I may NOT be able to do, it is far to overwhelming.

Might be a little deep for this board, but I do focus on the fact that I am still here, still living, still breathing - still able to do a lot of things. Sure my activities are limited, but at least I still have activities. Lost a good friend to cancer last year, given a choice between what he went through, and what I am facing - I will take my problems any day. It doesn't make my pain any easier - but it does give me a reality check.

Hang in.


Re: can't do what I love most?

Stuart B on 12/06/99 at 00:00 (013393)

Hi Wendyn,
really like your comment about reality check. I lost a friend recently and I know that feeling of still being alive. Living, breathing, seeing, sharing, loving. Makes me understand that everything is only temporary (including PF) because our lives are.

Have you tried swimming, I love it! (I also do sitting down Yoga which makes me feel great.)


Re: can't do what I love most?

wendyn on 12/06/99 at 00:00 (013428)

Finally started in the pool in the spring when things got really ugly - and I've kept it up. Since I swim like a rock, I use a deep water running belt and kind of fake my way through 30 or 40 minutes usually 3 times a week. It isn't pretty or coordinated, and no - it's not a great sweaty work out to loud music or a jog on a beautiful morning...but it's something. I really think that the incrased blood flow made a big difference, especially when I wasn't able to walk much at all.

Out of the last 2 weeks, have only had 2 or 3 pain days. Some days I am not noticing my feet at all. Does this mean they are actually healing!!!!???I would like to believe so (I have TTS in both feet). It's hard when you get your hopes up only to have them dashed a few days later!



Re: can't do what I love most?

Stuart B on 12/06/99 at 00:00 (013393)

Hi Wendyn,
really like your comment about reality check. I lost a friend recently and I know that feeling of still being alive. Living, breathing, seeing, sharing, loving. Makes me understand that everything is only temporary (including PF) because our lives are.

Have you tried swimming, I love it! (I also do sitting down Yoga which makes me feel great.)


Re: can't do what I love most?

wendyn on 12/06/99 at 00:00 (013428)

Finally started in the pool in the spring when things got really ugly - and I've kept it up. Since I swim like a rock, I use a deep water running belt and kind of fake my way through 30 or 40 minutes usually 3 times a week. It isn't pretty or coordinated, and no - it's not a great sweaty work out to loud music or a jog on a beautiful morning...but it's something. I really think that the incrased blood flow made a big difference, especially when I wasn't able to walk much at all.

Out of the last 2 weeks, have only had 2 or 3 pain days. Some days I am not noticing my feet at all. Does this mean they are actually healing!!!!???I would like to believe so (I have TTS in both feet). It's hard when you get your hopes up only to have them dashed a few days later!