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i give up

Posted by useless???? on 4/21/00 at 00:00 (019103)

i've had 3 surgeries for PF in the last 5 years. nothings changed, life as i once knew it is over. good luck everyone else.
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Re: i give up

Kim on 4/21/00 at 00:00 (019114)

I can imagine how disappointed you must be, so much effort, and so little to show for it. Now what? Give up? I know how you feel, I've had those days too.

As for me, I do not know why I suffer such pain. Is there a purpose for it? What am I suppose to be learning from it? Patients? Compassion for the suffering of others? Gratitude for the things that are good in my life? Perserverence? Is it making me stronger in the long run? After all, who knows, I may have to face things later in life that will make this look like a cake walk. I just don't know what this is all about...yet.

When I get really depressed, I try to remember those conjoined sisters who are connected at their sculls. (I apologize, I can't remember their names at the moment.) Anyway, if those two girls can play the devestating hand they've been dealt, it gives me courage to forge on, pain and all.

So, for now, be good to yourself, pamper your feet, and keep looking for the correct anwsers for your unique situation. The people here will help you make it through PF misery, one day at a time. All you have to do is ask.

Regards, Kim B.

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Re: i give up

Robin B. on 4/21/00 at 00:00 (019123)

Kim, I posted to Beverly a little farther down the line -- but many of the same points apply. The questions you raise about 'why the pain' are all pertinent good questions, and I don't know if there are real answers. I said to Beverly (and meant it) that PF has humbled me in many ways, and probably in ways that I needed it. It has taught me more about chronic pain, and about empathy, and about not making superficial judgments, and about patience and accommodation than I ever wanted to know. It knocked me on my butt for months and months on end, and opened my eyes. It has made me grateful for crummy little things like being able (and even thrilled) to wash the kitchen floor, or wash my car, or make the weekly stock-up trip to Wal-Mart. Everything I can do now, that I couldn't do last year at this time, is an event to be heralded. I vacuum with real enthusiasm these days. I remember when I literally couldn't do it.

I live my whole life now for Birkenstocks and bromelain and low carb food, just for the thrill of not being in 24-hour pain. I know myself what it is like to have the rush of even a tiny improvement. One day you're in agony. The next day (or week), you're in just a little less agony. But it's a show-stopper. It's a reduction in pain that you can cite and specify and be grateful for. Even though I am recovering, I still have heel pain and arch pain -- and they alert me, big time, to stop and re-assess what I was doing wrong or overdoing. I have learned to be ever-vigilent and to make the care of my feet a continuing top priority. It's kind of a nuisance -- but it's so wonderful not to be in chronic pain, it's worth it.

I think all the answers that you suggest are possibilities and probabilities. PF is a strengthener, to be sure. It toughens and strengthens character, patience, empathy, understanding, flexibility, and sheer determination in ways that very little else does. It's too bad that it is such a terrible way to have to learn all those things.

Kim, I'll look forward to the day when you post -- as I have -- that you are starting to enjoy a recovery from this wretched little crappy monster. I'll be eager to see what specific treatments and methods do the trick for you. I hope you will stick around through the recovery period, also, to give others real evidence that recovery does happen.
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Re: i give up

Kim on 4/21/00 at 00:00 (019114)

I can imagine how disappointed you must be, so much effort, and so little to show for it. Now what? Give up? I know how you feel, I've had those days too.

As for me, I do not know why I suffer such pain. Is there a purpose for it? What am I suppose to be learning from it? Patients? Compassion for the suffering of others? Gratitude for the things that are good in my life? Perserverence? Is it making me stronger in the long run? After all, who knows, I may have to face things later in life that will make this look like a cake walk. I just don't know what this is all about...yet.

When I get really depressed, I try to remember those conjoined sisters who are connected at their sculls. (I apologize, I can't remember their names at the moment.) Anyway, if those two girls can play the devestating hand they've been dealt, it gives me courage to forge on, pain and all.

So, for now, be good to yourself, pamper your feet, and keep looking for the correct anwsers for your unique situation. The people here will help you make it through PF misery, one day at a time. All you have to do is ask.

Regards, Kim B.

Vote for or against this post. vote=1
Voter identities: adelphia.net


Re: i give up

Robin B. on 4/21/00 at 00:00 (019123)

Kim, I posted to Beverly a little farther down the line -- but many of the same points apply. The questions you raise about 'why the pain' are all pertinent good questions, and I don't know if there are real answers. I said to Beverly (and meant it) that PF has humbled me in many ways, and probably in ways that I needed it. It has taught me more about chronic pain, and about empathy, and about not making superficial judgments, and about patience and accommodation than I ever wanted to know. It knocked me on my butt for months and months on end, and opened my eyes. It has made me grateful for crummy little things like being able (and even thrilled) to wash the kitchen floor, or wash my car, or make the weekly stock-up trip to Wal-Mart. Everything I can do now, that I couldn't do last year at this time, is an event to be heralded. I vacuum with real enthusiasm these days. I remember when I literally couldn't do it.

I live my whole life now for Birkenstocks and bromelain and low carb food, just for the thrill of not being in 24-hour pain. I know myself what it is like to have the rush of even a tiny improvement. One day you're in agony. The next day (or week), you're in just a little less agony. But it's a show-stopper. It's a reduction in pain that you can cite and specify and be grateful for. Even though I am recovering, I still have heel pain and arch pain -- and they alert me, big time, to stop and re-assess what I was doing wrong or overdoing. I have learned to be ever-vigilent and to make the care of my feet a continuing top priority. It's kind of a nuisance -- but it's so wonderful not to be in chronic pain, it's worth it.

I think all the answers that you suggest are possibilities and probabilities. PF is a strengthener, to be sure. It toughens and strengthens character, patience, empathy, understanding, flexibility, and sheer determination in ways that very little else does. It's too bad that it is such a terrible way to have to learn all those things.

Kim, I'll look forward to the day when you post -- as I have -- that you are starting to enjoy a recovery from this wretched little crappy monster. I'll be eager to see what specific treatments and methods do the trick for you. I hope you will stick around through the recovery period, also, to give others real evidence that recovery does happen.
Vote for or against this post. vote=1
Voter identities: solar.sky.net