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He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Posted by Sharie on 7/23/00 at 19:18 (023768)

Over the past two years I experienced some of the worst pain from my right heel/foot I ever felt before. Just learning to get to the bathroom in the morning when you first get up and simply cannot walk on the painful foot is a major thing to overcome. I know that many a morning I would drop to my knees and knee it to the ladies room. My husband has always been concerned and sympathetic, but let me tell you I have experienced so many other people, including family members,who had no clue how awful this PF pain can be. Because the pain is not the same level every day, it is on some days better than on other days, and more intense depending on what you do during the day, less intense other days if you stayed off your feet.

Family members and other people would ask why I was limping. I would tell them. I would get an 'oh yeah?' and in the next breath invite me to go to a swap meet to walk around for two or three hours. Do they not GET IT? I can't believe how many people doubted, didn't take me seriously, or just thought it would go away quickly. I had to have freakin' surgery before some said to me 'oh my goodness, I didn't think it was any big deal... but now...' Well my gosh... GET A CLUE FOLKS!! How frustrating SHEESH! SO, for you who are experiencing PF pain, or any other of the many foot conditions, HANG IN THERE, Tell people you are faking it so you don't have to go anywhere with them, tell them you want disability so you can play tennis whenever you want, ... you know stuff like that. Because that is what I feel the NON-PF'ers think! WHEW, man don't get me started on this.... When my foot doc told me I needed surgery, as we had tried so many other things to alleviate the pain, I said in a loud voice 'YESSSS'! Well, now I am recouperating wonderfully but still have to stay in the wheelchair for three more weeks, or so. I was out tooling about the yard the other day when my 'doubting Thomas' neighbor came up to me and said... hmm, you like that thing don't you... wouldn't it be better for you if you walked on that foot to break it in? My head spun around four times and I spewed pea soup at her, grrrr. Oh well *sigh*

See, NO one, absolutely NO one, understands until they have walked in our orthotics friends... Thank GOD you are all here!!!

Hugs
Sharie


Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Pat M. on 7/23/00 at 20:20 (023774)

AMEN SISTER!!!!!!

Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

KarenS on 7/23/00 at 21:37 (023776)

Dear Sharie: I can't agree with you more. I went through so much of people saying to me at work that there was no way I could be in as much pain as I said I was. I could barely walk, and really there is no way to let them know exactly how bad it is. Too bad they couldn't just experience one day of the hell we go through EVERY day. Maybe then they would have a different opinion.

Karen


Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

wendyn on 7/23/00 at 23:20 (023782)

Hi Sharie, many many many moons ago we had a discussion on our responses to the unfeeling comments by friends and family. I posted a list of some of my 'canned' answers to stupid questions and comments.

Essentially though, many people (myself included) have decided that the less said - the better. You will save yourself a lot of frustration if you don't waste time trying to help people understand something that they can not/will not ever 'get'. There will always be someone that thinks you're just making a big deal out of nothing. The only people that may understand, are those who have dealt with either chronic pain or significant foot pain themselves. With those types of folks, I _will_ engage in a discussion on what's happening and treatments I'm pursuing etc. For pretty much everyone else - I do stick to a relatively simple list of responses. I will list some of them here, and I'm sure they're somewhat similar to what I used 6 or 7 months ago. Bear in mind that I've answered these questions _hundreds_ of times.

'Are you limping' Yes.

'Why are you limping?' It's a long story.

'Did you hurt your feet?' Yes.

'How did you hurt your feet?' It's a long story.

'Did you hurt your feet again?' No. Still.

'You should see a doctor'. Thanks. :)

'You know my Aunt Martha saw this doctor about her corns and yada yada yada yada.' (Just smile and nod here).

'How are your feet?' Been worse. :)

'Are you ever going to get better?' I hope so.

'Don't your feet get cold in those sandals in the snow?' No.

(In the middle of winter while I'm wearing my Birks)....
'Headed to the beach?' Ha ha ha. That's original. You should be a comedian.

'What's wrong with your feet?' It's a long story.

'Why do you walk like a duck?' That too...is another long story.



Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Dolcelen on 7/24/00 at 00:28 (023785)

I also love it when people see me walking-ahem, compensating-for severe foot pain in my running shoes. I get: 'Running somewhere?', or 'Geez, you are walking much better, I can see' (Right). I just respond, 'ya, whatever'.

Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Rick R on 7/24/00 at 07:50 (023792)

Try as I may I never can quite manage the pea soup thing. During my years of crawling around in the morning it used to irk me so see people get the handicapped placard for far less pain and inconvience than we go or have gone through. The inconsistancy of our condition is so hard for the outsiders to get. I consider myself to be a PFocholic, not 'cured' likely never to be cured, but through a lot of education and surgery, in a recovered mode. Still it is hard for people to understand that I can be so drastically different depending on whether or not I'm tapped up, wearing shoes, what shoes.... Even my wife who has been so understanding gets frustrated with me when she wants something and she has to listen to me say 'ok as soon as I can get the running shoes on. '

Hang in there,

Rick


Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Susan S on 7/24/00 at 08:01 (023793)

I've been doing really well but am having a small flare up. Limped into church yesterday and one of my friends noticed the all too familiar limp and was wonderfully supportive. Then the chior director stopped me in the hall questioning when I'd be back to chior. 'When I can stand agian', I sweetly replied. 'Well, you're standing now'. 'I'd be sitting already if you hadn't stopped me'. Geesh!! Maybe I can pray down a little heel pain on this wonderful man.

Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Beverly on 7/24/00 at 12:59 (023826)

Way to go! I actually had one good friend suggest that I put an ace bandage on my foot just so other friends would get the message that I am injured! (And no, I did not use the ace bandage.)

Other than my father, who has been an absolute dear and a saint (right down to buying me half of these expensive shoes since I otherwise would have been limited to one or two shoe tries), I have not found friends or family 'get it.' They mean well, but I know they can't understand why it is taking so long for me to heal. (And this includes my boyfriend who tries hard to understand, but also doesn't really get it.)

In my social circle, we have another friend who had the run of the mill kind of PF. She was fine in two or three months, and is back wearing any old shoes, feeling fine. She this makes it even harder for everyone to get the picture.

I have come to dread THE QUESTION. THAT QUESTION THAT BEGINS WITH, 'HOW ARE YOUR FEET?'... To me, what they are really asking is, 'Gee, aren't you well yet?' My current answer is, 'I'm making slow but hopefully steady progress. It's going to take time.'

This is why this message board has saved my sanity. You all are the only people who really understand how bad PF is.

Thanks,
Beverly
Wendy, your one liners are great. Gave me a good laugh.



Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Sharie on 7/24/00 at 13:57 (023836)

AMEN! Beverly.... we have wonderful comradarie here don't we.... THANK GOODNESS for other PF sufferers who really understand. Hey wait, if we didn't have this condition where would we all go? rofl!!

Hugs and hang in there!
Sharie


Re: Responding to SUSAN S. Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Sharie on 7/24/00 at 14:01 (023838)

GRRRRRRRR!


Re: FOR WENDY N. Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Sharie on 7/24/00 at 14:04 (023839)

Oh Wendy, that was a wonderful list of canned responses!! Mind if I steal em? You write delightfully!

Hugs
Sharie


Re: FOR RICK .....Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Sharie H on 7/24/00 at 14:09 (023840)

Rick, my friend... you hit it right on the nosie, All we can do is smile, and consider the source. Whats neat about all this regarding other people not believing us or understanding, is... to my way of thinking.. we are educating them in case they (God forbid) get this foot condition/s. They will either walk away in annoyance of our complaints and their lack of education about this, or wish us well. Unfortunately some people need to disbelieve others. That is where our smiles come in handy. It's okay if they don't understand or believe us. It's really okay! (although at time it ticks me off LOL!)

Thanks for your neat response!

Good luck
Sharie


Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Pat M. on 7/23/00 at 20:20 (023774)

AMEN SISTER!!!!!!

Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

KarenS on 7/23/00 at 21:37 (023776)

Dear Sharie: I can't agree with you more. I went through so much of people saying to me at work that there was no way I could be in as much pain as I said I was. I could barely walk, and really there is no way to let them know exactly how bad it is. Too bad they couldn't just experience one day of the hell we go through EVERY day. Maybe then they would have a different opinion.

Karen


Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

wendyn on 7/23/00 at 23:20 (023782)

Hi Sharie, many many many moons ago we had a discussion on our responses to the unfeeling comments by friends and family. I posted a list of some of my 'canned' answers to stupid questions and comments.

Essentially though, many people (myself included) have decided that the less said - the better. You will save yourself a lot of frustration if you don't waste time trying to help people understand something that they can not/will not ever 'get'. There will always be someone that thinks you're just making a big deal out of nothing. The only people that may understand, are those who have dealt with either chronic pain or significant foot pain themselves. With those types of folks, I _will_ engage in a discussion on what's happening and treatments I'm pursuing etc. For pretty much everyone else - I do stick to a relatively simple list of responses. I will list some of them here, and I'm sure they're somewhat similar to what I used 6 or 7 months ago. Bear in mind that I've answered these questions _hundreds_ of times.

'Are you limping' Yes.

'Why are you limping?' It's a long story.

'Did you hurt your feet?' Yes.

'How did you hurt your feet?' It's a long story.

'Did you hurt your feet again?' No. Still.

'You should see a doctor'. Thanks. :)

'You know my Aunt Martha saw this doctor about her corns and yada yada yada yada.' (Just smile and nod here).

'How are your feet?' Been worse. :)

'Are you ever going to get better?' I hope so.

'Don't your feet get cold in those sandals in the snow?' No.

(In the middle of winter while I'm wearing my Birks)....
'Headed to the beach?' Ha ha ha. That's original. You should be a comedian.

'What's wrong with your feet?' It's a long story.

'Why do you walk like a duck?' That too...is another long story.



Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Dolcelen on 7/24/00 at 00:28 (023785)

I also love it when people see me walking-ahem, compensating-for severe foot pain in my running shoes. I get: 'Running somewhere?', or 'Geez, you are walking much better, I can see' (Right). I just respond, 'ya, whatever'.

Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Rick R on 7/24/00 at 07:50 (023792)

Try as I may I never can quite manage the pea soup thing. During my years of crawling around in the morning it used to irk me so see people get the handicapped placard for far less pain and inconvience than we go or have gone through. The inconsistancy of our condition is so hard for the outsiders to get. I consider myself to be a PFocholic, not 'cured' likely never to be cured, but through a lot of education and surgery, in a recovered mode. Still it is hard for people to understand that I can be so drastically different depending on whether or not I'm tapped up, wearing shoes, what shoes.... Even my wife who has been so understanding gets frustrated with me when she wants something and she has to listen to me say 'ok as soon as I can get the running shoes on. '

Hang in there,

Rick


Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Susan S on 7/24/00 at 08:01 (023793)

I've been doing really well but am having a small flare up. Limped into church yesterday and one of my friends noticed the all too familiar limp and was wonderfully supportive. Then the chior director stopped me in the hall questioning when I'd be back to chior. 'When I can stand agian', I sweetly replied. 'Well, you're standing now'. 'I'd be sitting already if you hadn't stopped me'. Geesh!! Maybe I can pray down a little heel pain on this wonderful man.

Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Beverly on 7/24/00 at 12:59 (023826)

Way to go! I actually had one good friend suggest that I put an ace bandage on my foot just so other friends would get the message that I am injured! (And no, I did not use the ace bandage.)

Other than my father, who has been an absolute dear and a saint (right down to buying me half of these expensive shoes since I otherwise would have been limited to one or two shoe tries), I have not found friends or family 'get it.' They mean well, but I know they can't understand why it is taking so long for me to heal. (And this includes my boyfriend who tries hard to understand, but also doesn't really get it.)

In my social circle, we have another friend who had the run of the mill kind of PF. She was fine in two or three months, and is back wearing any old shoes, feeling fine. She this makes it even harder for everyone to get the picture.

I have come to dread THE QUESTION. THAT QUESTION THAT BEGINS WITH, 'HOW ARE YOUR FEET?'... To me, what they are really asking is, 'Gee, aren't you well yet?' My current answer is, 'I'm making slow but hopefully steady progress. It's going to take time.'

This is why this message board has saved my sanity. You all are the only people who really understand how bad PF is.

Thanks,
Beverly
Wendy, your one liners are great. Gave me a good laugh.



Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Sharie on 7/24/00 at 13:57 (023836)

AMEN! Beverly.... we have wonderful comradarie here don't we.... THANK GOODNESS for other PF sufferers who really understand. Hey wait, if we didn't have this condition where would we all go? rofl!!

Hugs and hang in there!
Sharie


Re: Responding to SUSAN S. Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Sharie on 7/24/00 at 14:01 (023838)

GRRRRRRRR!


Re: FOR WENDY N. Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Sharie on 7/24/00 at 14:04 (023839)

Oh Wendy, that was a wonderful list of canned responses!! Mind if I steal em? You write delightfully!

Hugs
Sharie


Re: FOR RICK .....Re: He Who Has Never Had PF Pain.... Hush Uppa Your Moutha! (true account)

Sharie H on 7/24/00 at 14:09 (023840)

Rick, my friend... you hit it right on the nosie, All we can do is smile, and consider the source. Whats neat about all this regarding other people not believing us or understanding, is... to my way of thinking.. we are educating them in case they (God forbid) get this foot condition/s. They will either walk away in annoyance of our complaints and their lack of education about this, or wish us well. Unfortunately some people need to disbelieve others. That is where our smiles come in handy. It's okay if they don't understand or believe us. It's really okay! (although at time it ticks me off LOL!)

Thanks for your neat response!

Good luck
Sharie