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A gentle stretch of the imagination...

Posted by Bob G. on 8/14/00 at 01:18 (025397)

You know you have PF if you log-on to heelspurs.com at 3 o'clock in the morning!

This poor butcher had PF so bad, on his feet all day, in his shop, really busy...and he notices a dog in his shop. He shoos him away. But later, he notices the dog is back again. So he goes over to the dog and notices he has a note in his mouth. It reads, 'Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has money in his mouth, as well.' The butcher looks and, lo and behold, there is a ten-dollar bill...

So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is well impressed, and since it's close to closing time, he decides to shut up shop and follow the dog (walking very gingerly, of course).

The dog is walking down the street. When he comes to a stop light, he puts down the bag, jumps up and pushes the button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the light to turn. It does, and he walks across the road, with the butcher hobbling along following him all the way.

The dog comes to a bus stop. He checks out the timetable, then sits on one of the seats provided. The butcher is in awe at this time. Along comes a bus, the dog walks around to the front, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Along comes another bus. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on. The butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus.

The bus travels through the town and out into the suburbs, the dog looking at the scenery. Eventually he gets up and moves to the front of the bus. He stands on two back paws and pushes the button to stop the bus. Then he gets off, his groceries still in his mouth.

Well, the dog and the butcher are walking (and hobbling) along the road. Then, the dog turns into a yard. We walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run and throws himself - - Whap! - - against the door. He goes back down the path, runs up to the door and - - Whap! - - throws himself against it again.

There's no answer at the door, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to the window and beats his head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door.

The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door and starts scolding the dog at the top of his voice. The butcher runs up and stops the guy, 'What are you doing? Your dog is a genius. He could star in his own TV show!'

To which the guy responds, 'Clever, my eye. This is the second time this week that he's forgotten his key.'