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Moms with PF

Posted by Barbara S. on 8/22/00 at 08:51 (025988)

I've been talking to an older (and wiser) lady who has been helping me deal with the emotional effects of pf and the depression that it so often brings. I have a lot of panic attacks about it, because I have two tiny children around the house and I am nearly immobilized - no walks, no playgroups, no shopping, no parks or library... I feel sorry, not only for myself, but for them. But I have learned through this woman to think of this as a time to really focus on my kids - to cuddle them and kiss them, to read to them and REALLY LISTEN to what they say, and just appreciate their little personalities, healthy bodies, and the funny things they do. Strange, but I have so often NEGLECTED those things, rushing from here to there and draging them to so many activities (more for my benefit than theirs)that filled up time but added no real quality to their lives... they just wanted ME. When I awake from this PF nightmare, that's a lesson I'll remember. B.

Re: Moms with PF

Pauline on 8/22/00 at 08:59 (025991)

Barb,
Your title sounds like a good name for a support group. If you had
the time I'd suggest you start one. I can only sympathize with the
added difficulty you have trying to treat PF while taking care of young children. I think you have found the best things to do while
you are dealing with PF. Hold, hug, and reading to your children
knowing that you are doing all that you are capable of at this given time is all that is necessary. This too will pass. We can only do our best with the curves that come our way.



Re: Moms with PF

Sue R on 8/22/00 at 09:44 (025999)

Barb,

I think you just made my day! I too have two small kiddos. And I often feel bad for them because they can't do all things we used to do before pf. We are basically homebound and it's still sometimes hard for me to keep up. But I have realized that I did way too much running before and often times they just wanted to be home, playing with the same toys every day. Now, we read read read...and we play on the floor, pretending all sorts of things. My youngest is only 16 months and he doesn't demand to be picked up like he used to be (and that does make feel sad) but he always plops on my lap while I'm sitting.

It's very hard being so dependent on my hubby for everything but he's ok with it and is very supportive. He took the day off today to take the boys to the Science Place downtown Dallas...so I'm home putting my feet up!

Thanks for the encouraging words! And good luck to you.

Sue R


Re: Moms with PF

Terry on 8/22/00 at 10:02 (026004)

Barbara S. - I have small kids, too. They youngest is 4, so I understand exactly what you and Sue are saying. Aren't you the one that had myofascial realease? I thought about that article in Men's Health and searched until I found someone that knew about it. I found a PT about 5 minutes from my house and have seen him twice. It seems to be going well. It hurts really bad, not like a massage in a cushy salon. Hopefully he is getting somewhere. I will see him again on Wed and Friday. Also, this guy believes in very gentle stretching, and I like that, too. Terry

Re: Moms with PF

salina on 8/22/00 at 10:49 (026011)

I have five kids, my oldest is eleven and youngest is 14 mos. There have been times when I thought my heart would break because I couldn't do things for or with them like we used to. But we have all adjusted, and in some ways have even gotten closer. I also used to spend a lot of time just shuffling them all to here or there, some group or sport or activity I thought was sooo important to their lives. And I also realized that I was the sole person in this family doing any work around here, haha. Now the boys help out with more chores instead of mom doing everything, and they are actually happier about that. I need them to help watch the babies, and they have learned to do some light cooking (I stress 'light' cooking). I hadn't realized before that I was running around like crazy, doing everything for everybody, AND leaving my husband out. He has been 'forced' to be much more involved in taking care of the little ones, and is really reaping the benefits of it. he is so much more a part of the family, where as before he was always working. He has gotten used to taking more time off, making sure he gets home early, and spends so much more quality time with me and the kids now. Now it is second nature to him, and we are all enjoying it. So something positive has come out of all this pain.

Re: Moms with PF

amy d on 8/22/00 at 13:43 (026027)

I too have a small child. She is 18 months old and I find it very hard to hold her and walk at the same time. She is 34lbs. Big Gal! I have surgery scheduled for Sept 5 2000. Will being doing my right foot then and my left sometime in dec. My mom will be helping out. I too know the frustrations of not being able to do for my daughter, but when I am over this there will be more walks and more paly dates at the park. Keep in good spirits. It will get better.

Re: a non-Mom with PF

Lori E. on 8/22/00 at 21:02 (026070)

My husband and I had planned to start our family this summer, but due to my PF we are going to have to wait. It's not something I wanted to put off, but I see the wisdom in waiting until my PF is gone. I still have 30 pounds of weight to loose, and I can't imagine putting another 30 pounds on my already stressed out feet. I really admire all you Moms out there who are there for your kids when you have PF. It's got to be hard, I know I have a hard enough time taking care of myself, my hubby and our pup.

Re: Moms with PF - Dads too!!!

HankC on 8/23/00 at 07:26 (026080)

As the famous popeye said 'I'm not man enough to be a mudda'. However, as a single parent dad let
me state that we too have no fun with pf. I'm always throwing a ball of some sort with my 9 year old - baseball,
football, hitting a tennis ball, you name it. Fortunately my pf is doing much better after almost a 2 year
stint. I recently did a 10 day camping trip to Alaska with my son and had no problems with the foot whatsoever.
One advantage I do have with pf over the moms is that as a lousy cook I don't spend much time standing
on a hard kitchen floor!
Hank

Re: Moms with PF

Virginia on 8/23/00 at 08:43 (026084)

Barbara - I enjoyed reading your post yesterday. During the last few months I've felt very guilty for not keeping up with the rest of my family (I have a 6 and a 7 year old). I find I become aggravated quicker since pf and tend to have alot less patience with my whole family. I'm trying to work on this and change energy from negative to positive.

Re: Moms with PF

Pauline on 8/22/00 at 08:59 (025991)

Barb,
Your title sounds like a good name for a support group. If you had
the time I'd suggest you start one. I can only sympathize with the
added difficulty you have trying to treat PF while taking care of young children. I think you have found the best things to do while
you are dealing with PF. Hold, hug, and reading to your children
knowing that you are doing all that you are capable of at this given time is all that is necessary. This too will pass. We can only do our best with the curves that come our way.



Re: Moms with PF

Sue R on 8/22/00 at 09:44 (025999)

Barb,

I think you just made my day! I too have two small kiddos. And I often feel bad for them because they can't do all things we used to do before pf. We are basically homebound and it's still sometimes hard for me to keep up. But I have realized that I did way too much running before and often times they just wanted to be home, playing with the same toys every day. Now, we read read read...and we play on the floor, pretending all sorts of things. My youngest is only 16 months and he doesn't demand to be picked up like he used to be (and that does make feel sad) but he always plops on my lap while I'm sitting.

It's very hard being so dependent on my hubby for everything but he's ok with it and is very supportive. He took the day off today to take the boys to the Science Place downtown Dallas...so I'm home putting my feet up!

Thanks for the encouraging words! And good luck to you.

Sue R


Re: Moms with PF

Terry on 8/22/00 at 10:02 (026004)

Barbara S. - I have small kids, too. They youngest is 4, so I understand exactly what you and Sue are saying. Aren't you the one that had myofascial realease? I thought about that article in Men's Health and searched until I found someone that knew about it. I found a PT about 5 minutes from my house and have seen him twice. It seems to be going well. It hurts really bad, not like a massage in a cushy salon. Hopefully he is getting somewhere. I will see him again on Wed and Friday. Also, this guy believes in very gentle stretching, and I like that, too. Terry

Re: Moms with PF

salina on 8/22/00 at 10:49 (026011)

I have five kids, my oldest is eleven and youngest is 14 mos. There have been times when I thought my heart would break because I couldn't do things for or with them like we used to. But we have all adjusted, and in some ways have even gotten closer. I also used to spend a lot of time just shuffling them all to here or there, some group or sport or activity I thought was sooo important to their lives. And I also realized that I was the sole person in this family doing any work around here, haha. Now the boys help out with more chores instead of mom doing everything, and they are actually happier about that. I need them to help watch the babies, and they have learned to do some light cooking (I stress 'light' cooking). I hadn't realized before that I was running around like crazy, doing everything for everybody, AND leaving my husband out. He has been 'forced' to be much more involved in taking care of the little ones, and is really reaping the benefits of it. he is so much more a part of the family, where as before he was always working. He has gotten used to taking more time off, making sure he gets home early, and spends so much more quality time with me and the kids now. Now it is second nature to him, and we are all enjoying it. So something positive has come out of all this pain.

Re: Moms with PF

amy d on 8/22/00 at 13:43 (026027)

I too have a small child. She is 18 months old and I find it very hard to hold her and walk at the same time. She is 34lbs. Big Gal! I have surgery scheduled for Sept 5 2000. Will being doing my right foot then and my left sometime in dec. My mom will be helping out. I too know the frustrations of not being able to do for my daughter, but when I am over this there will be more walks and more paly dates at the park. Keep in good spirits. It will get better.

Re: a non-Mom with PF

Lori E. on 8/22/00 at 21:02 (026070)

My husband and I had planned to start our family this summer, but due to my PF we are going to have to wait. It's not something I wanted to put off, but I see the wisdom in waiting until my PF is gone. I still have 30 pounds of weight to loose, and I can't imagine putting another 30 pounds on my already stressed out feet. I really admire all you Moms out there who are there for your kids when you have PF. It's got to be hard, I know I have a hard enough time taking care of myself, my hubby and our pup.

Re: Moms with PF - Dads too!!!

HankC on 8/23/00 at 07:26 (026080)

As the famous popeye said 'I'm not man enough to be a mudda'. However, as a single parent dad let
me state that we too have no fun with pf. I'm always throwing a ball of some sort with my 9 year old - baseball,
football, hitting a tennis ball, you name it. Fortunately my pf is doing much better after almost a 2 year
stint. I recently did a 10 day camping trip to Alaska with my son and had no problems with the foot whatsoever.
One advantage I do have with pf over the moms is that as a lousy cook I don't spend much time standing
on a hard kitchen floor!
Hank

Re: Moms with PF

Virginia on 8/23/00 at 08:43 (026084)

Barbara - I enjoyed reading your post yesterday. During the last few months I've felt very guilty for not keeping up with the rest of my family (I have a 6 and a 7 year old). I find I become aggravated quicker since pf and tend to have alot less patience with my whole family. I'm trying to work on this and change energy from negative to positive.