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Excelsior!

Posted by Dr. Huey Lewi on 10/19/00 at 20:49 (030878)

Patrons of the Foot-Board:

Huzzah! I have been saved!

Many of you urged my great experiment forward, encouraging even more rapacity and sloth in my quest to become the ideal candidate for the Old Bassoon. I am pleased to say that I have eaten more buckets of chicken than Mr. Presley himself, finishing each piece off with three slabs of Mrs. Z's gelatinous headcheese and a jigger of rum. You have advised me that only the greatest inertia should be undertaken, and I took great care to encase my legs in molten lead for yon this past fortnight, twitching slightly only when the cellar rats nipped hungrily at my liver-spots. Unfortunately, I had forgotten that I would be unable to move when the glorious moment to scientific apotheosis would arrive! Would anyone check upon me in the cellar? I had not produced a single orthosis in a week, angering the powers that be on the first floor… I was afraid I would be left for dead, had not Snipes, the undertaker, spotted me on his weekly visit to transport the corpses to the morgue. How they do pile up the beastly things! Chiropody is often a 'here today, gone tomorrow' affair, so I advise all young hoof-men not to become too deeply attached to their patients. Heel-spurs often strike like thieves in the night, and in their wake, life is but a fleeting vapor! Even the most stringent treatments with all manner of spikes and prods, and the most skillfully administered carbolic lye infusions seldom save the afflicted.

Take for instance, the sad case of Miss Francine Butterbottom. She had caught the heel-spur while entertaining the troups with a tap-dance in the trenches at Ypres. I gave her the standard treatment with the uranium plantar splice, and because she had the face of an angel, I threw in a total ankle replacement. However, I soon came to know her lazy disposition when she refused to walk after the operation, complaining in an intolerable, screechy whine that nearly vexed me to madness! It was only after I pursued her down the hall of the dispensary with my Colt 45 that she finally broke into a gallop. Although a promising specimen, I am sad to say that she did not live to tap again. Such is the heel-spur. Adieu, Miss Butterbottom. Adieu.

But, I did not become a giant in my profession by dwelling upon the past. Onward, technology! Tomorrow I shall be healed or perish!

I remain most sincerely,

Dr. Huey Lewi, DPM

Re: Dr, L's masquerade

Bob G. on 10/20/00 at 01:44 (030888)

I think Dr. Huey Lewi an imposition. Though rational and sane, Dr. L is neither Democrate nor Republican, remaining somewhat anonymous in nature. Dr. L's masquerade is quite remarkable, to say the least.

I think Dr. L is no stranger to dementia.

Re: Excelsior!....We await thee with arms outstretched!!!!

Kate on 10/20/00 at 08:16 (030904)

Dearest Dr.Lewi,
It is only our good fortune that delivers you to our humble office.
We await thee, and anticipate thee.
God speed to you Dr.Lewi.

Re: Dr, L's masquerade

john h on 10/20/00 at 10:42 (030913)

did not dr lewi suggest he might be a wig in a previous post?

Re: Excelsior! It's been a long time....

Richard C.Ped on 10/20/00 at 11:21 (030918)

Wow...Huey Lewi! It sure has been a long time since we have heard from you! You are taking what they're givin' cause you've been workin for a livin'. I sure enjoyed the early 80's because......oops,
wrong Huey.

Re: Huey, I need your creative help!

Beverly on 10/20/00 at 17:50 (030941)

Huey, I know you are the perfect person for this question. For some years, I have played with a lusty Civil War romance novel. Writing one that is. I was going to have my heroine waste away from TB, but I'm thinking perhaps she needs a foot disease. She is a Civil War nurse. What do you suggest I give my character and how would she be treated?

Thank you,
Beverly

Re: Huey, I need your creative help!

john h on 10/21/00 at 10:37 (030970)

bev: i hope you name your heroine charolete o'lewi (of the savannah o'lewi's of course). Dr Rhett Zuckerman might be her lover. Rhett could carry her upstaris as she complaines about her feet and of course say 'frankly charlotte, i don't give a damm!'.

Re: Huey, I need your creative help!

Beverly on 10/21/00 at 12:40 (030973)

The fair damsel is French. We need a French sir name. If you find a way to make Lewi sound French, I will consider it. Her first name is Celeste. But Huey does not sound rugged enough to be the hero. I just can't see a guy in pink slippers carrying my spitfire vixen, Celeste, up the spiral banister.

I've been working on a tragic ending. I like a good tearjerker. TB is such a wonderful 19th century condition to waste away from while still looking beautiful. (Since the 'pale' look was in vogue for fine Southern ladies of the day.)

But after my own personal battles with PF and PTT, I just have to work in a foot disease. I really don't care who I give it to. I guess our rugged hero could succomb to such a condition on the battlefield.
The shoes then left much to be desired.

See ya,
Beverly

Re: Huey, I need your creative help!

Beverly on 10/22/00 at 11:04 (031015)

Kim,

You are absolutely right about nurses. Also, just think about those 19th century lace up boots women wore. With those pointy toes, I'll bet most of them had feet problems.
Beverly

Re: Dr, L's masquerade

Bob G. on 10/20/00 at 01:44 (030888)

I think Dr. Huey Lewi an imposition. Though rational and sane, Dr. L is neither Democrate nor Republican, remaining somewhat anonymous in nature. Dr. L's masquerade is quite remarkable, to say the least.

I think Dr. L is no stranger to dementia.

Re: Excelsior!....We await thee with arms outstretched!!!!

Kate on 10/20/00 at 08:16 (030904)

Dearest Dr.Lewi,
It is only our good fortune that delivers you to our humble office.
We await thee, and anticipate thee.
God speed to you Dr.Lewi.

Re: Dr, L's masquerade

john h on 10/20/00 at 10:42 (030913)

did not dr lewi suggest he might be a wig in a previous post?

Re: Excelsior! It's been a long time....

Richard C.Ped on 10/20/00 at 11:21 (030918)

Wow...Huey Lewi! It sure has been a long time since we have heard from you! You are taking what they're givin' cause you've been workin for a livin'. I sure enjoyed the early 80's because......oops,
wrong Huey.

Re: Huey, I need your creative help!

Beverly on 10/20/00 at 17:50 (030941)

Huey, I know you are the perfect person for this question. For some years, I have played with a lusty Civil War romance novel. Writing one that is. I was going to have my heroine waste away from TB, but I'm thinking perhaps she needs a foot disease. She is a Civil War nurse. What do you suggest I give my character and how would she be treated?

Thank you,
Beverly

Re: Huey, I need your creative help!

john h on 10/21/00 at 10:37 (030970)

bev: i hope you name your heroine charolete o'lewi (of the savannah o'lewi's of course). Dr Rhett Zuckerman might be her lover. Rhett could carry her upstaris as she complaines about her feet and of course say 'frankly charlotte, i don't give a damm!'.

Re: Huey, I need your creative help!

Beverly on 10/21/00 at 12:40 (030973)

The fair damsel is French. We need a French sir name. If you find a way to make Lewi sound French, I will consider it. Her first name is Celeste. But Huey does not sound rugged enough to be the hero. I just can't see a guy in pink slippers carrying my spitfire vixen, Celeste, up the spiral banister.

I've been working on a tragic ending. I like a good tearjerker. TB is such a wonderful 19th century condition to waste away from while still looking beautiful. (Since the 'pale' look was in vogue for fine Southern ladies of the day.)

But after my own personal battles with PF and PTT, I just have to work in a foot disease. I really don't care who I give it to. I guess our rugged hero could succomb to such a condition on the battlefield.
The shoes then left much to be desired.

See ya,
Beverly

Re: Huey, I need your creative help!

Beverly on 10/22/00 at 11:04 (031015)

Kim,

You are absolutely right about nurses. Also, just think about those 19th century lace up boots women wore. With those pointy toes, I'll bet most of them had feet problems.
Beverly