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A little joke : you think you're having a bad day??

Posted by Valerie S on 4/17/01 at 23:58 (044916)

>
> This is supposed to be a true story.
>
> > Brian is a commercial saturation diver for Global
> > > Divers out of Louisiana, and performs underwater
> > > repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
> > >
> > > Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She sent it to
> > > Laughline and won the contest (he wasn't thrilled with
> > > her for that one). Anyway, anytime you think you have
> > > had a bad day at the office, remember this guy.
> > >
> > > ========================================
> > > April 1998
> > >
> > > Hi, Sue,
> > > Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother.
> > > Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've
> > > been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would
> > > share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not
> > > so bad after all.
> > >
> > > Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
> > > bore you with a few technicalities of my job. This time
> > > of year the water is quite cool, even with a wetsuit. So
> > > what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
> > > powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
> > > shit sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a
> > > delightful temp. It then pumps it down to the diver
> > > through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose.
> > > Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used
> > > it several times with no complaints.
> > >
> > > What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working,
> > > is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my
> > > wetsuit at the neck. This floods my whole suit with
> > > warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
> > >
> > > Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my
> > > ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.
> > > This only made things worse. Within a few seconds
> > > my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out of my
> > > wetsuit, but the damage was done.
> > >
> > > In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water
> > > machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
> > > my suit. This is even worse than the poison ivy you
> > > once had under a cast. Now I had that hose down my
> > > back. I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish
> > > couldn't get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as
> > > fortunate.
> > >
> > > When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
> > > actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed
> > > the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
> > > communicator. His instructions were unclear due to
> > > the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were
> > > laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the
> > > dive.
> > >
> > > It totaled 35 minutes before I could come to the
> > > surface for my chamber dry decompression. I got to
> > > the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet. My
> > > suit and gear were tied to the bell. When I got on
> > > board, the medic, with tears of laughter running down
> > > his face, handed me a tube of some cream and told
> > > me to shove it 'up my ass' when I get in the chamber.
> > >
> > > The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two
> > > days because my asshole was swollen shut.
> > >
> > > Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office,
> > > think of me. Think about how much worse your day
> > > would be if you were to shove a jellyfish up your ass.
> > > I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you
> > > do, I hope this will make it more tolerable.
>

> > Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office,
> > think of me. Think about how much worse your day
> > would be if you were to shove a jellyfish up your ass.
> > I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you
> > do, I hope this will make it more tolerable.

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This is supposed to be a true story.

> Brian is a commercial saturation diver for Global
> > Divers out of Louisiana, and performs underwater
> > repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
> >
> > Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She sent it to
> > Laughline and won the contest (he wasn't thrilled with
> > her for that one). Anyway, anytime you think you have
> > had a bad day at the office, remember this guy.
> >
> > ========================================
> > April 1998
> >
> > Hi, Sue,
> > Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother.
> > Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've
> > been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would
> > share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not
> > so bad after all.
> >
> > Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
> > bore you with a few technicalities of my job. This time
> > of year the water is quite cool, even with a wetsuit. So
> > what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
> > powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
> > shit sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a
> > delightful temp. It then pumps it down to the diver
> > through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose.
> > Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used
> > it several times with no complaints.
> >
> > What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working,
> > is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my
> > wetsuit at the neck. This floods my whole suit with
> > warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
> >
> > Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my
> > ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.
> > This only made things worse. Within a few seconds
> > my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out of my
> > wetsuit, but the damage was done.
> >
> > In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water
> > machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
> > my suit. This is even worse than the poison ivy you
> > once had under a cast. Now I had that hose down my
> > back. I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish
> > couldn't get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as
> > fortunate.
> >
> > When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
> > actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed
> > the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
> > communicator. His instructions were unclear due to
> > the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were
> > laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the
> > dive.
> >
> > It totaled 35 minutes before I could come to the
> > surface for my chamber dry decompression. I got to
> > the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet. My
> > suit and gear were tied to the bell. When I got on
> > board, the medic, with tears of laughter running down
> > his face, handed me a tube of some cream and told
> > me to shove it 'up my ass' when I get in the chamber.
> >
> > The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two
> > days because my asshole was swollen shut.
> >
> > Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office,
> > think of me. Think about how much worse your day
> > would be if you were to shove a jellyfish up your ass.
> > I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you
> > do, I hope this will make it more tolerable.

Re: Oops.. I wasnt quite ready... darned mouse anyway

Valerie S on 4/17/01 at 23:59 (044917)

Oops... I was trying to delete the extra copy at the end, but you get the picture,...

Re: Good one

BrianG on 4/18/01 at 10:04 (044951)

Hahahahaaaa, now thats my kind of sick humor :*)

BCG

Re: Oops.. I wasnt quite ready... darned mouse anyway

Valerie S on 4/17/01 at 23:59 (044917)

Oops... I was trying to delete the extra copy at the end, but you get the picture,...

Re: Good one

BrianG on 4/18/01 at 10:04 (044951)

Hahahahaaaa, now thats my kind of sick humor :*)

BCG