Home The Book Dr Articles Products Message Boards Journal Articles Search Our Surveys Surgery ESWT Dr Messages Find Good Drs video

Pauline

Posted by Scott R on 5/10/01 at 15:53 (047374)

Pauline, claiming at the end of all your posts that they are not meant to harm or offend anyone does not mean that the post does not do it anyway. I find it a sarcastic and offensive attack on me for complaining about one of your posts and uselessly confusing to new people. If you're not ever going to become a nice person, why don't you just leave?

Re: Pauline

GinaC on 5/10/01 at 16:36 (047378)

You can certainly tell me to MYOB, but I interpreted Pauline's ending statement to be a type of general disclaimer, not a personal attack on anybody.

Re: Pauline

Scott R on 5/10/01 at 17:11 (047381)

Her post right before she started doing it claimed that I was out of line to complain about how she responded to a certain poster. It is a general disclaimer like you say, but I think the reason she started doing it was to be sarcastic and annoying about my complaint.

Re: Pauline

Pauline on 5/10/01 at 17:22 (047383)

Scott,
As you know I or anyone for that matter cannot control how a person thinks or will interpret a posting. I didn't see any rule about not putting a disclaimer on a personal post to let the readers know that the post was written in good faith and it's purpose was not intended to harm or offend them. That is the truth of the matter and that is all it was.

Re: Pauline

Scott R on 5/10/01 at 17:24 (047384)

You know, most normal people would leave when the host asks them to.

Re: Pauline

Scott R on 5/10/01 at 20:34 (047400)

I didn't TELL not to post. I won't do that unless there are 3 fouls. I ASKED you not to post. My complaint is that your posts make me afraid they will cause an argument, or they will be off-topic and useless, or they will cause trouble in one way or another that will make the board less valuable, or cause me wasted time typing responses. The main thing is to stay on topic. I recommend just completely ignoring Dr. Z. I think Dr. Wander will take care of Dr Z if he needs it.

If you want me to ask you back to my party, you have say 'Scott, I'm sorry for giving you grief, eventhough I don't think I did too much wrong. I promise not to be mean or post messages or say anything that isn't about foot pain or otherwise diminish the value of the board. I promise to leave Dr. Z alone. Can I come back to your party?'

Then I'll say 'Yes.' if you said the above and nothing more or at least something just as kind and complete.

If you don't do this, then you can still post if you want and i will not TELL you to leave until there are 3 fouls.

Saying the apology will actually penalize you because if you foul again, it will count as two fouls. One for the foul and one for breaking the promise.

Re: Pauline

Julie on 5/11/01 at 02:50 (047421)

Scott, this is a message of support and I hope I'm right to give it.

I'm relieved that you took Pauline to task on this one. I've just read all yesterday's posts in this beautiful sunny English morning, and they have soured it for me. The coy, snide 'disclaimer' at the end of almost every one has irritated me profoundly. It is yet more evidence that she cannot accept that she might have been in the wrong, and is putting us in the wrong.

And now I really have had enough, and I hope she will gracefully leave your party.

Re: Pauline

Scott R on 5/11/01 at 06:43 (047426)

Julie,
Thank you for your message. The social board is meant for the off-topic posts, so it's OK here. I am glad Pauline can see it's not only me who views her remarks negatively.

Re: Pauline

Julie on 5/11/01 at 08:19 (047432)

Scott, please have no doubt about it: it isn't only you. I expect most folks are just keeping their heads down, as I was trying to until yesterday. I don't know why I'm suddenly speaking out - I guess I've reached and passed my irritation threshhold. I think you are doing the right thing and I hope you aren't feeling beleaguered. I hope Dr Zuckerman isn't either. I'm sure we'll soon get back to the calm, informative, helpful state of affairs on the site that we've all appreciated so much.

Re: Pauline

Nancy N on 5/11/01 at 08:21 (047433)

Just a quick note--Scott, it is definitely not just you. I echo everything that Julie has already said. The 'disclaimer' may have been well-intentioned, but it came across as a rude in-your-face kind of statement, which detracted from everything that had otherwise been said.

Re: Pauline

john h on 5/11/01 at 09:48 (047448)

often people seek attention in unusual ways. each of us probably knows how to press the hot button of our spouse to garner attention. as a child, my daughter would often do things she knew i disapproved of. it would get my attention. even my cat, when he wants to get attention, may bite the back of my leg. i think i posted sometimes ago that we 'Learned all we need to know in life in kindergarten' and one of them was 'be nice'!

Re: Ditto.......

JudyS on 5/11/01 at 11:13 (047461)

Ditto Julie and Nancy, Scott. Thanks for taking charge of this.

Re: Pauline

Julie on 5/11/01 at 11:25 (047467)

I suspect you're right, John. Whatever the underlying reason, though, it ain't pleasant, and grownups shouldn't be pushing each others' hot buttons. But alas, they do.

When I was still working for HarperCollins, we published a book called 'All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten', by Robert Fulghum. Did you ever read it?

Re: All I Really Need to Know/Robert Fulghum

Nancy N on 5/11/01 at 11:52 (047472)

I've read most of Robert Fulghum's books, and they really are wonderful. And he definitely has a point about kindergarten. Every basic law of life is taught to you in kindergarten.

Re: Pauline

john h on 5/11/01 at 12:06 (047476)

sure did read it julie and what a wonderful book with simple truths.

Re: All I Really Need to Know/Robert Fulghum

Julie on 5/11/01 at 12:34 (047485)

Nancy, I met him when his book was about to be published, and he was awfully nice - just what you'd expect.

Re: Pauline

wendyn on 5/11/01 at 13:28 (047492)

Julie - I've read that book - and a few of his others I think too. I think - now I can't remember for sure if there was more than one.

Great book.

Re: All I Really Need to Know/Robert Fulghum

Dr. Zuckerman on 5/11/01 at 14:44 (047503)

Didn't he tells us to take a nap at least once a day . I just ate my cookies and milk, finished an ESWT now it is time for a nap. boy it is really hot today in New Jersey

Re: Pauline

GinaC on 5/10/01 at 16:36 (047378)

You can certainly tell me to MYOB, but I interpreted Pauline's ending statement to be a type of general disclaimer, not a personal attack on anybody.

Re: Pauline

Scott R on 5/10/01 at 17:11 (047381)

Her post right before she started doing it claimed that I was out of line to complain about how she responded to a certain poster. It is a general disclaimer like you say, but I think the reason she started doing it was to be sarcastic and annoying about my complaint.

Re: Pauline

Pauline on 5/10/01 at 17:22 (047383)

Scott,
As you know I or anyone for that matter cannot control how a person thinks or will interpret a posting. I didn't see any rule about not putting a disclaimer on a personal post to let the readers know that the post was written in good faith and it's purpose was not intended to harm or offend them. That is the truth of the matter and that is all it was.

Re: Pauline

Scott R on 5/10/01 at 17:24 (047384)

You know, most normal people would leave when the host asks them to.

Re: Pauline

Scott R on 5/10/01 at 20:34 (047400)

I didn't TELL not to post. I won't do that unless there are 3 fouls. I ASKED you not to post. My complaint is that your posts make me afraid they will cause an argument, or they will be off-topic and useless, or they will cause trouble in one way or another that will make the board less valuable, or cause me wasted time typing responses. The main thing is to stay on topic. I recommend just completely ignoring Dr. Z. I think Dr. Wander will take care of Dr Z if he needs it.

If you want me to ask you back to my party, you have say 'Scott, I'm sorry for giving you grief, eventhough I don't think I did too much wrong. I promise not to be mean or post messages or say anything that isn't about foot pain or otherwise diminish the value of the board. I promise to leave Dr. Z alone. Can I come back to your party?'

Then I'll say 'Yes.' if you said the above and nothing more or at least something just as kind and complete.

If you don't do this, then you can still post if you want and i will not TELL you to leave until there are 3 fouls.

Saying the apology will actually penalize you because if you foul again, it will count as two fouls. One for the foul and one for breaking the promise.

Re: Pauline

Julie on 5/11/01 at 02:50 (047421)

Scott, this is a message of support and I hope I'm right to give it.

I'm relieved that you took Pauline to task on this one. I've just read all yesterday's posts in this beautiful sunny English morning, and they have soured it for me. The coy, snide 'disclaimer' at the end of almost every one has irritated me profoundly. It is yet more evidence that she cannot accept that she might have been in the wrong, and is putting us in the wrong.

And now I really have had enough, and I hope she will gracefully leave your party.

Re: Pauline

Scott R on 5/11/01 at 06:43 (047426)

Julie,
Thank you for your message. The social board is meant for the off-topic posts, so it's OK here. I am glad Pauline can see it's not only me who views her remarks negatively.

Re: Pauline

Julie on 5/11/01 at 08:19 (047432)

Scott, please have no doubt about it: it isn't only you. I expect most folks are just keeping their heads down, as I was trying to until yesterday. I don't know why I'm suddenly speaking out - I guess I've reached and passed my irritation threshhold. I think you are doing the right thing and I hope you aren't feeling beleaguered. I hope Dr Zuckerman isn't either. I'm sure we'll soon get back to the calm, informative, helpful state of affairs on the site that we've all appreciated so much.

Re: Pauline

Nancy N on 5/11/01 at 08:21 (047433)

Just a quick note--Scott, it is definitely not just you. I echo everything that Julie has already said. The 'disclaimer' may have been well-intentioned, but it came across as a rude in-your-face kind of statement, which detracted from everything that had otherwise been said.

Re: Pauline

john h on 5/11/01 at 09:48 (047448)

often people seek attention in unusual ways. each of us probably knows how to press the hot button of our spouse to garner attention. as a child, my daughter would often do things she knew i disapproved of. it would get my attention. even my cat, when he wants to get attention, may bite the back of my leg. i think i posted sometimes ago that we 'Learned all we need to know in life in kindergarten' and one of them was 'be nice'!

Re: Ditto.......

JudyS on 5/11/01 at 11:13 (047461)

Ditto Julie and Nancy, Scott. Thanks for taking charge of this.

Re: Pauline

Julie on 5/11/01 at 11:25 (047467)

I suspect you're right, John. Whatever the underlying reason, though, it ain't pleasant, and grownups shouldn't be pushing each others' hot buttons. But alas, they do.

When I was still working for HarperCollins, we published a book called 'All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten', by Robert Fulghum. Did you ever read it?

Re: All I Really Need to Know/Robert Fulghum

Nancy N on 5/11/01 at 11:52 (047472)

I've read most of Robert Fulghum's books, and they really are wonderful. And he definitely has a point about kindergarten. Every basic law of life is taught to you in kindergarten.

Re: Pauline

john h on 5/11/01 at 12:06 (047476)

sure did read it julie and what a wonderful book with simple truths.

Re: All I Really Need to Know/Robert Fulghum

Julie on 5/11/01 at 12:34 (047485)

Nancy, I met him when his book was about to be published, and he was awfully nice - just what you'd expect.

Re: Pauline

wendyn on 5/11/01 at 13:28 (047492)

Julie - I've read that book - and a few of his others I think too. I think - now I can't remember for sure if there was more than one.

Great book.

Re: All I Really Need to Know/Robert Fulghum

Dr. Zuckerman on 5/11/01 at 14:44 (047503)

Didn't he tells us to take a nap at least once a day . I just ate my cookies and milk, finished an ESWT now it is time for a nap. boy it is really hot today in New Jersey