Home The Book Dr Articles Products Message Boards Journal Articles Search Our Surveys Surgery ESWT Dr Messages Find Good Drs video

Security and Dr. Lewi......

Posted by JudyS on 6/12/01 at 16:38 (050532)

Dearest Dr. Z, I sincerly hope that, in anticipation of my upcoming visit, you've secured your cellar door with an extra dead bolt or two. I shudder to think of the consequences should Dr. HewyLewiDooeywhatever learn that I'm on the premises......(being the first member of his ex-wives club, and all....)

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

john h on 6/12/01 at 17:27 (050542)

dr z i warn you the machine better be in top working order when i arrive. with 5-6 people ahead of me it might be burned out. do you have enough spark plugs on hand. my big decision is should i wear my airizona sandals or new balance shoes?

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

Dr. Zuckerman on 6/13/01 at 14:56 (050627)

New Plugs and new generator all ready to go . The orbasone is working great.

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

JudyS on 6/13/01 at 17:04 (050642)

eat your heart out, Johnboy, I'm number one on the dance card.....

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

JudySHeuyDooeyLooie on 6/13/01 at 17:05 (050643)

yeah but.....what about heuydooielooeywhatever?

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

Dr. Huey Lewi on 6/14/01 at 16:59 (050713)

Patrons of the Foot-board -

I am tested beyond limit! I assure you, it is I who need security. Lately, I have become the most sought-after chiropod around.

Daily the mail pours in from all corners of the globe, asking the great Lewi to pronounce his sage judgement upon the new-fangled shock-wave device. As you all know, I was primed to be treated by my own grandson before I shuffled off the mortal coil quite unexpectedly right as my treatment was beginning. Taft, suspicious bastard, suspects foul-play. I cannot even consider this, because my grandson doted upon me with unparalleled solicitude, making my twilight years truly golden. I had ample time for mellow reflection and introspection, locked as I was alone, in the cellar. The clammy dampness, while destroying my delicate lung-linings, did wonders for my complexion. David was even known to ration an extra serving of imitation bacon bits through the key-hole as a special Sabbath treat, provided I produced my quota of orthoses for the week. Where those not times to remember?

So, in lieu of my personal inexperience with the shock-wave, I shall only have to go by what I hear through the floorboards. After about 20 minutes of something akin to close-range mortar fire, the blood-curdling screams cease, followed by more bazooka-like explosions when the patient attains sweet, blessed unconsciousness. I can only suppose that the treatment is a success when the wails cease, coupled with evidence from the invoices that we are ordering about half our normal inventory of body-bags. So please - no more questions about the shock-wave! Just know that I am praying for your immortal souls from my purgatorial basement, and hoping the nurse ladles enough gin down your throats so that we all can get a moment's peace. However, as one of my ex-wives is coming soon for a treatment, perhaps this weekend will be more amusing than I thought. I will still entertain questions regarding the chimplant and the uranium plantar splice, both of which have been recently approved by Red Chinese.

As you know, a full fortnight has passed since Taft and I returned from that star-studded, trend-setting, mega-gala that is the Bangkok Chiropody convention. I have noticed a perilous trend in podiatry that sets my teeth on edge. Formerly, we were a profession of thinkers and philosophers (Descartes himself designed our secret hand-shake), who in our annual enclaves pushed podiatry to its outer limits as a science until it converged with physics, zoology, and even theology. I myself, while among the living, was able to remove a spur using only a combination of Zoroastrian astrology, Sumerian mind-control, and ancient Mayan algorithms. Alas, times have changed. Last year I felt like somewhat of a fool in my first-class digs at the Bangkok Ritz, with Heather Locklear on my arm and bribes pouring in from all sides. Death, in this sense, has been a great boon. I can sit around for all eternity, contemplating feet.

I remain most sincerely,

Dr. C. Huey, Lewi, DPM

a

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

JudyS on 6/14/01 at 21:56 (050725)

Oh Puh-leez........spare me the same old rantings from that completely decayed head of yours, Dr. Hooeydooielooywhatever! Even as I sit here in the warm and lovely abode of our own Nancy N, I come ever so close to upchucking my highway-bought MickeyD grilled chicken combo.....
Honestly, Looie dear, even that 'blond' creature named Locklear is NOT silly enough to walk around on YOUR arm so don't think for a minute the highly intelligent folks who patronize this board are gonna fall for that!
As for my own shock-wave therapy on the morrow......the screams you may hear from this mouth will only be ones that are in glee due to your total incarceration in Davey's celler with your ridiculous medical tools (Plantar Splicer indeed!). I am absolutely certain that Davey will cause me no pain (unlike YOU, you dottering old widget....). In fact, I suspect a pitcher of Margarita's (pre-treatment, of course) is already chilling in the office fridge.....and I hear the tub is chock-full of chocolate just for me...and Nancy, and Denise, and, well, you get the picture. I suspect you'll simply languish down there knowing that, but for your own lack of attentiveness in the chocolate department, you'd still have THIS California dreamer on YOUR arm! Whew......lucky for me I met the REAL Mr. Right after I was bright enough to leave you to the empty-headed, Hollywood bimbo types.
Forever yours, Looie dear,
The First Wife

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

wendyn on 6/14/01 at 22:29 (050733)

Dr Lewi - can you drop me a line at my email....mailwendy1@home.com ?

I do not have your address - thank you!!!!!!!!

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

john h on 6/12/01 at 17:27 (050542)

dr z i warn you the machine better be in top working order when i arrive. with 5-6 people ahead of me it might be burned out. do you have enough spark plugs on hand. my big decision is should i wear my airizona sandals or new balance shoes?

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

Dr. Zuckerman on 6/13/01 at 14:56 (050627)

New Plugs and new generator all ready to go . The orbasone is working great.

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

JudyS on 6/13/01 at 17:04 (050642)

eat your heart out, Johnboy, I'm number one on the dance card.....

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

JudySHeuyDooeyLooie on 6/13/01 at 17:05 (050643)

yeah but.....what about heuydooielooeywhatever?

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

Dr. Huey Lewi on 6/14/01 at 16:59 (050713)

Patrons of the Foot-board -

I am tested beyond limit! I assure you, it is I who need security. Lately, I have become the most sought-after chiropod around.

Daily the mail pours in from all corners of the globe, asking the great Lewi to pronounce his sage judgement upon the new-fangled shock-wave device. As you all know, I was primed to be treated by my own grandson before I shuffled off the mortal coil quite unexpectedly right as my treatment was beginning. Taft, suspicious bastard, suspects foul-play. I cannot even consider this, because my grandson doted upon me with unparalleled solicitude, making my twilight years truly golden. I had ample time for mellow reflection and introspection, locked as I was alone, in the cellar. The clammy dampness, while destroying my delicate lung-linings, did wonders for my complexion. David was even known to ration an extra serving of imitation bacon bits through the key-hole as a special Sabbath treat, provided I produced my quota of orthoses for the week. Where those not times to remember?

So, in lieu of my personal inexperience with the shock-wave, I shall only have to go by what I hear through the floorboards. After about 20 minutes of something akin to close-range mortar fire, the blood-curdling screams cease, followed by more bazooka-like explosions when the patient attains sweet, blessed unconsciousness. I can only suppose that the treatment is a success when the wails cease, coupled with evidence from the invoices that we are ordering about half our normal inventory of body-bags. So please - no more questions about the shock-wave! Just know that I am praying for your immortal souls from my purgatorial basement, and hoping the nurse ladles enough gin down your throats so that we all can get a moment's peace. However, as one of my ex-wives is coming soon for a treatment, perhaps this weekend will be more amusing than I thought. I will still entertain questions regarding the chimplant and the uranium plantar splice, both of which have been recently approved by Red Chinese.

As you know, a full fortnight has passed since Taft and I returned from that star-studded, trend-setting, mega-gala that is the Bangkok Chiropody convention. I have noticed a perilous trend in podiatry that sets my teeth on edge. Formerly, we were a profession of thinkers and philosophers (Descartes himself designed our secret hand-shake), who in our annual enclaves pushed podiatry to its outer limits as a science until it converged with physics, zoology, and even theology. I myself, while among the living, was able to remove a spur using only a combination of Zoroastrian astrology, Sumerian mind-control, and ancient Mayan algorithms. Alas, times have changed. Last year I felt like somewhat of a fool in my first-class digs at the Bangkok Ritz, with Heather Locklear on my arm and bribes pouring in from all sides. Death, in this sense, has been a great boon. I can sit around for all eternity, contemplating feet.

I remain most sincerely,

Dr. C. Huey, Lewi, DPM

a

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

JudyS on 6/14/01 at 21:56 (050725)

Oh Puh-leez........spare me the same old rantings from that completely decayed head of yours, Dr. Hooeydooielooywhatever! Even as I sit here in the warm and lovely abode of our own Nancy N, I come ever so close to upchucking my highway-bought MickeyD grilled chicken combo.....
Honestly, Looie dear, even that 'blond' creature named Locklear is NOT silly enough to walk around on YOUR arm so don't think for a minute the highly intelligent folks who patronize this board are gonna fall for that!
As for my own shock-wave therapy on the morrow......the screams you may hear from this mouth will only be ones that are in glee due to your total incarceration in Davey's celler with your ridiculous medical tools (Plantar Splicer indeed!). I am absolutely certain that Davey will cause me no pain (unlike YOU, you dottering old widget....). In fact, I suspect a pitcher of Margarita's (pre-treatment, of course) is already chilling in the office fridge.....and I hear the tub is chock-full of chocolate just for me...and Nancy, and Denise, and, well, you get the picture. I suspect you'll simply languish down there knowing that, but for your own lack of attentiveness in the chocolate department, you'd still have THIS California dreamer on YOUR arm! Whew......lucky for me I met the REAL Mr. Right after I was bright enough to leave you to the empty-headed, Hollywood bimbo types.
Forever yours, Looie dear,
The First Wife

Re: Security and Dr. Lewi......

wendyn on 6/14/01 at 22:29 (050733)

Dr Lewi - can you drop me a line at my email....mailwendy1@home.com ?

I do not have your address - thank you!!!!!!!!