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I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Posted by Beverly on 6/15/01 at 15:31 (050774)

I'm trying to stop crying so I can write something coherrant. I came home from the doctor feeling emotionally beaten up.

I went to see my internist today, because I'd been having chest pains off and on all week. (I take a beta blocker for a benign arthymia which I've had for years.) I wasn't too worried since I had a complete cardio workup about two years ago, but I wanted an EKG for peace of mind.

Guess what!?! This doctor, who happens to be a fairly new doctor for me, since I moved to a different city back in January, said, 'You certainly have had alot of medical tests and conditions for someone your age.' (I'm 41.)
I said, 'You're right. I have had alot of stuff although most of it has been in the last few years.'

Not only did she not do the EKG, because 'I'd already had plenty of cardio tests in the past that were normal,' but she flat out suggested that I was a tad bit of a hypochondriac. She said, 'Increase your Sectral (the beta blocker) to 2x a day.' But she saw no reason to even do a simple EKG. Mind you, my mother died of a heart attack at a relatively young age.

To add insult to injury, she said I was 'too focused on my foot and ankle... that alot of people have footpain, but they don't allow it to put their lives on hold.'

Next, I get quizzed on 'what am I doing to get out and about... do something productive.' I said, 'I'm signing up for a graduate program at the local college in the Fall. I'm taking one class.'

She asks, 'Why just one class?'

I say, 'Because even at night the parking is a challenge and I thought it would be best to start out with one class. Also, the more I'm on a computer, the harder it is on my overall body.' She basically implied that one class was awfully wimpy and aches and pains from the computer is just part of life.

I challenged her and said, 'I am not a hyprochondiac. Granted, some of the things I've dealt with don't show up on medical tests, but plenty of them have.' (Example: Iritis spell I had with my eye. Herpes that I had in the other eye... Monster yeast infections if I eat something I'm allergic too.)
I also pointed out that prior to my PF and tendontis, I was a very active person... involved in many things.

Oh, it gets good. She says, 'I'm not saying that you are making up your conditions. I think you are too focused on your foot and health in general. You need to get out more. Do more....'

I don't know why I even bothered at this point, but I said, 'I'm trying to find some meaningful things to do that I will enjoy that won't put me on my feet alot. That is why I'm taking the grad class. I've also started going to church again.' (I work at home and with my foot/ankle problems, I have been stuck at home alot.)

So, the conversation ends with her saying she has worked with doctors who have all kinds of foot pain... even conditions that put them on a cane, but they don't let it put their lives on hold.

I said, 'I am trying to do what I can. I've learned that when I'm doing better not to push too far or I simply get tendonitis in a new place in my ankle.' And her comment to that was 'Or that's what you labeled it.'

Now, I did get the satisfaction of saying that the orthopedic surgeon 'labeled' it posterior tibial tendonitis and that my therapist had given me an MMPI (sophisticated psy. test) and I did not show any signs of being a hyprochondriac.

I left feeling completely invalidated and in tears. By the way, this is the same doctor who refused to give me a handicap parking sticker. I guess, now I have some insight as to why.

Thanks for letting me vent,
Beverly

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Paula A on 6/15/01 at 16:14 (050779)

Beverly,

Don't blame you for being upset. Nothing worse than dealing
with a Doctor with no compassion. One thing for sure she
doesn't know what she is talking about. She is covering
her own ignorance by treating you that way. It is obvious
she has never had major foot/ankle pain or she wouldn't
be so quick to say you were focusing on your foot pain too
much.

She should have given you an EKG as well to make
sure you weren't having heart problems..

People like her should never be Doctors..

Lots of Hugs to you..

Paula

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

BrianG on 6/15/01 at 16:22 (050780)

Hi Bev,

Your new doctor could certainly use a course in compassion. Can I ask why you picked this particular doctor? Do you belong to an HMO? If possible, you need a new doctor. Ask around to anyone you've met, Get another recommendation. Even HMO's will usually allow you to change doctors. No need to bad mouth him (although he needs it) when you ask for a change. Just tell the admin people that you don't feel comfertable around him. People change doc's all the time.

This person is working for you, it's not the other way around. No doctor should send his patient home in tears, what an ass!!! Ask around, get a doc who cares.

BCG

Re: Sorry you came home in tears...

Lori E. on 6/15/01 at 18:33 (050785)

Bev,
I am so sorry you had that experience. I too dealt with a doc who couldn't understand why my foot pain was interfering with my life. She also refused my parking permit. Dealing with her and her staff made me cry too. It is very frustrating to not get any understanding from someone who is supposed to be there to help you. I think you did a great job of standing up for yourself!
Sometimes it just isn't enough to convince someone of what you are trying to accomplish for yourself. If you can, let it go and just use it as a lesson that that doc isn't the one for you,( and probably not alot of other people either.) I endorse the notion to find another doc.
I too started back at school and took only one class. There is nothing wimpy about doing it that way. Once you are there and have an idea of how you are going to get around campus you may want to take more classes next term. Or you may find that the one class is enough for now. I found that attending that one class to be enough to start me in the right direction.
You are on the right path, don't let a person you have met only once cause you to doubt yourself, your sanity, your health concerns or the things you have chosen to do to get better. Good luck and hugs.

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Laurei R on 6/15/01 at 18:51 (050787)

Dear Beverly , I have all the TLC you need.... Frist of all I would of been crying too.. It makes me very mad to know that their are doctors like her. She has no business being a doctor .....I don't wish foot pain on anyone , but maybe if she did have it than her attitude would of not been that way .... Aslo she was so out of line to even think you were a Hper what ever I can't spell the word .... That was wrong wrong wrong....

Beverly I know you are upset ,anyone would be ,but don't let her get the best of you . She has no clue what you are feeling pain wise. I bet the visit and meaness had nothing to do with you .She was probably having a bad day or her man left her ......Try to have a good night .You know we are here for you.I am so sorry that a doctor would treat you this way . Remember what goes around comes around.... She will get hers..

Hang in there... We understand . Your friend ,Laurie
Here is a extra big hug for you ...

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Steve P on 6/15/01 at 20:49 (050792)

Beverly --- Great comments above. i don't think I can add anything, except to say hang in there & don't let this get you down. You've become very knowledgeable on PF & probably know more about it than this doc. She has 'an attitude' & you're not going to get anywhere with her, so please don't let it upset you.

best.........Steve

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Beverly on 6/15/01 at 23:30 (050806)

Thanks Lori, Brian, Laurie, Paula, and Steve,

I am in a much better frame of mind. My great escape has always been going to the grocery store. Thanks to electric scooters, it's still my great escape. So, I ran away to the grocery store for a couple of hours.

I have to wonder how many people with chronic conditions that will neither kill you nor visably deterioate the body get written off by doctors as being 'too focused on their health.' I have certainly heard this from friends with fibroymyalgia and chronic fatigue.

Whatever the doctor might have believed, I think it was very out of line to suggest that I might be a hyprochondriac on the third time I met her. Three visits is not long enough to form a clear opinion on something as subjective as that.

It did surprise me that she didn't do an EKG if for no other reason than to cover her butt just in case her opinion was wrong. (Especially since my own mother died of a heart attack at a fairly young age!)

In regards to PF, I believe it is those of us with chronic pain who don't give up and keep pushing for a solution are the ones who finally find one or at least find something to improve the problem. I can't help but think of my recent fourth attempt at orthodics as an example. They are my first pair to show promise.

Getting discounted by the doctor seems to be a common thread among PF sufferers. After being on this board over a year, I have noticed that my experience is by no means rare.
Thanks for listening,
Beverly

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Laurie R on 6/15/01 at 23:53 (050809)

Hi again Beverly ,
Your right this does happen a lot with PF . I just feel maybe the doctor that act like this just don't understand PF. I guess I am very lucky to have a Pod like the one I have. He also has PF . Now the frist visit I had with him I did not care for him at all ,than the second visit was so different and from than on he has been so compassionate and caring.

It does make me so mad that something like PF is not taken serious enough . The pain is real and it can get so bad at times. What in the world did your doctor mean by ' you take your health to serious?? Aren't we suppose to take our health serious ?? I have always thought so ...

Like I said you are so much better than to let this doctor get the best of you Beverly .... Hang in there ,it will be ok. Maybe you can get another doctor ,one that will care about you and your pain.

I think you are wonderful and I have always thought this ......

Have a good night . Laurie R

Re: I am so sorry Beverly

Tammie on 6/16/01 at 10:09 (050833)

I am really sorry that you should ever have had this expierance! I do believe you and understand your feelings, when you are made to feel like this , Dr.s are hurting themselves and there patients, because it teaches us to fear telling them anything (that in reality) might help them diagnose a problem! This is so sad and seems to happen more often then realized. I do know that we are all human and they are not God and have BAD days to but still they are professionals and should always keep in mind that everyone has feelings and we should be treated in the way they would like to be treated if they were sitting on the table! Someday it could very well be them there in a office with a dr, the same as them! That is what puts me off of going to a dr. quickly.Compassion I think is something we are taught at a young age and if we dont get it then I am not sure it can be learned later, and with the numbers rising and pressures for the medical profession ,we are becoming a brand on our heads ,(Insur,yes insur,no hmo ,bc/bs/ etc) and then it is like a conveyer belt in one room and on to the next with not even a breath inbetween got to make the quota,as for quality sit down time with a paitent hmmm think that is about gone along with home visits! Now it is the nurse or a assistant who gives most info. Dont take it Beverly, it might har you and your health in long run try to find a human dr. not a overworked dr. with little compassion,And good luck !!!!I dont think this person had a clu to what a person withthis problem is going thru, but in defense, I did not either till I was put in this position myself. Who could ever know unless you are a sufferer yourself, as seems there is NO quick fix anywhere or any type of treatment seems all have the ( takes time) attached to it! Hugs to u and I apoligize for the insensitivity of the so called doc.Because noone should ever pass judgement till they walk our shoes !

Re: I am so sorry Beverly

Beverly on 6/16/01 at 12:48 (050838)

I feel better this morning. Thank you so much for all your TLC and validation. I think the dangerous thing about my experience at that doctor's office is that when you are already feeling low and filled with alot of anxiety about both the present and the future, it is easy start wondering if perhaps the doctor is right.

It helps to hear all the positive feedback from you validating my feelings.

A much better tactic would have been for her to say something like, 'If you're not getting out much, perhaps you are also depressed...'

And yes, I am definitely dumping this doctor. I have a PPO.

Thanks,
Beverly

PS: This 'too focused patient' is going shoe shopping today. Now that I've found a good set of orthodics, I'm looking for some slip ons with a decent footbed that will accomodate the orthodics. I'm getting tired of lacing my shoe laces everytime I get up for a glass of water! I tried putting them in my Dansko's but that didn't work.

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Dr. Zuckerman on 6/16/01 at 18:04 (050865)

Good to vent but just because the MD is behind the name doesn't give that person the right to say these thing.s Oh by the way MD stands for Mad Dog , not medical doctor. You can't control what other doctor say only how you react and you did react great. Should of told the Mad Dog off, but you did with calm cool collective answers Now tell him off on this board

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

JudyS on 6/17/01 at 12:27 (050898)

TexBev, as NancyN, TexBarb and I were chatting over bagels in the motel yesterday, we compared notes about similar experiences we've had with docs. I described to them your post about this and we all just shook our heads and empathised!
Perhaps the number one rule for continuing to treat with a particular doc is to ask yourself if your're comfy with him/her. I'd like to think that I'd deep-six this one immediately. She should know better, especially on only visit number 2, than to use this kind of language with you. It only creates emotional misery. Clearly she hasn't had time to get to know you and to suggest that you should dramatically change your lifestyle is premature. I feel that she has no right to say that you should be taking more coursework, be out more, etc. She's not a therapist, right? In fact, we've 'known' you for a good while now.....and we completely understand the longevity of your discomfort and the ever-expanding soreness in to other areas of the foot - no one here would dream of passing those kinds of judgements on to you. As always I tend to push the 'take charge' theory of healing - are you able to search out another doctor - one who will take a teamwork approach?

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Nancy N on 6/17/01 at 16:17 (050904)

Bev--

I'd also echo everything that's already been said, but I have one idea. I am not sure from your post if you did this or not, but in my experience, if someone thinks that you are clueless or uninformed, the best way to get their respect is to prove to them that you are not. I also think it was horribly negligent of this woman not to give you an EKG, considering your family history. It's not clear if you reminded her of that history or not, but I sure would have. I also would have spouted as much technical information as I could have about my PF and the factors that contribute to it. Proving that you know what you're talking about may not always get someone to listen to you, but it at least gives you the knowledge that you did everything you could do to show that you're not crazy or overreacting.

It almost makes me think you should write up a list of exactly what symptoms you have and your understanding of the problem before you go see your new doctor (I'm so glad you're ditching this one!). When I went for my second opinion last year, I had written up my whole history so we could just cut to the chase. It was really helpful, both to get the facts and chronology straight in my mind, and to the doctor I saw. At the very least, it gives you a feeling of control about your health.

Good luck with your new doc, and do keep us posted!!

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Paula on 6/18/01 at 13:53 (050966)

Geez, Beverly. What kind of a doctor is this person? Too focused on foot pain. Golly, I wonder if that has anything to do with the idea that we must walk everywhere we go???????
I used to be a registered nurse and gave it up for several reasons, but one was the insensitivity that is out there so much. There are wonderful doctors....just so hard to find.
hang in there....I know how depressing these morons can be when they are so darned insensitive.
Let's see....get out...do more....When what I seem to read in all my studying is REST those feet!! How can we be heard as a group? How can we make people understand the pain....the constant pain just to exist and be a little mobile we suffer the consequences???? You are not alone, Beverly.

Re: Reflections and thanks and feedback to all my TLC senders!

Beverly on 6/18/01 at 15:32 (050974)

Wow! I guess alot of us have had bad doctor experiences from the response I've received!

Nancy, yes, I clued her in on my family cardio history. I'm feeling ok now or I would have gone to ER. Ironically, I have found with this type of doctor personality that using alot of technical jargon evidently just gets you labeled 'too focused on your health.' It's like the doctor who told a friend of mine with chronic fatigue 'not to read books about it because it will just confuse her more... too many dissenting opionions.' I honestly think it is the rare doctor who likes a medically educated patient. I think most of them want us to be like 'children.' I may just have a jaded outlook at the moment...

I think what I'm going to do is just stay with the orthopedic surgeon for things related to my feet. I had wanted to tackle this from a whole body standpoint. That is why I went to the internist. I did get one helpful thing for all my trouble with the woman. I got to find out that my bloodwork is completely normal. She checked for everything under the sun.

Since I have a foot doctor and GYN and plenty of refills left on meds, I have time to shop around for a general practicer or internist.

I do prefer a female GYN, but otherwise, my experience thus far with female doctors is not good. I hate that, because I always thought a woman would understand a woman's problems better. But that has not been my experience. By and large, I've found women doctors to be crticial and judgemental of me as a patient. I've certainly run into some bozo male doctors, but for the most part, male doctors tend to be sympathetic. They'll say encouraging things like, 'We're going to get you past this' .... or 'Let's run some tests... or 'Feeling ill can cause stress and lead to depression. Would you like to try an antidepressant?'

I usually leave the male doctor's office feeling one of two things: 1. Encouragement that one way or another, with time/treatment, I'll get better. or 2. A fatherly pat on the back that at least feels empathetic.

I like to think of myself as a feminist, and I would never say this about women as a whole in other professions, but I just have not had good experiences with women in medicine. Maybe women are harder on other women. I come away feeling like I'm suppose to 'buck up... toughen up...'

Well, on the bright side, I had a great weekend. Went to the first party I've been to in a long, long time. Plenty of places to sit, thank God. I'm still a bit sore from the extra fun, but it was good for my state of mind.

Thanks for all your support,
Beverly

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Kathy on 6/23/01 at 09:39 (051337)

I am so sorry that you have such a cruel doctor. She may mean well and think what you need is a pep talk (we'll give her the benefit of the doubt) but she obviously has never suffered from foot pain nor studied it. My podiatrist of five years is one of the kindest, most compassionate people I've ever met and I am so greatful that my primary care physician recommended him to me. He never slights my pain and has said that until someone has chronic foot pain, they have no idea what it's like.

Can you get a new doctor? I would, because with your ailments, it seems as though you need someone who is kinder and more understanding. In these days of HMO's it's difficult, I know.

I just broke down and asked for a handicapped tag for my car and the doctor couldn't have been more compliant! It absolutely kills me to use it but no as much as it kills me to have to walk!!

Good luck - remember there are nice doctors out ther, you just have to hunt for them sometimes!

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Paula A on 6/15/01 at 16:14 (050779)

Beverly,

Don't blame you for being upset. Nothing worse than dealing
with a Doctor with no compassion. One thing for sure she
doesn't know what she is talking about. She is covering
her own ignorance by treating you that way. It is obvious
she has never had major foot/ankle pain or she wouldn't
be so quick to say you were focusing on your foot pain too
much.

She should have given you an EKG as well to make
sure you weren't having heart problems..

People like her should never be Doctors..

Lots of Hugs to you..

Paula

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

BrianG on 6/15/01 at 16:22 (050780)

Hi Bev,

Your new doctor could certainly use a course in compassion. Can I ask why you picked this particular doctor? Do you belong to an HMO? If possible, you need a new doctor. Ask around to anyone you've met, Get another recommendation. Even HMO's will usually allow you to change doctors. No need to bad mouth him (although he needs it) when you ask for a change. Just tell the admin people that you don't feel comfertable around him. People change doc's all the time.

This person is working for you, it's not the other way around. No doctor should send his patient home in tears, what an ass!!! Ask around, get a doc who cares.

BCG

Re: Sorry you came home in tears...

Lori E. on 6/15/01 at 18:33 (050785)

Bev,
I am so sorry you had that experience. I too dealt with a doc who couldn't understand why my foot pain was interfering with my life. She also refused my parking permit. Dealing with her and her staff made me cry too. It is very frustrating to not get any understanding from someone who is supposed to be there to help you. I think you did a great job of standing up for yourself!
Sometimes it just isn't enough to convince someone of what you are trying to accomplish for yourself. If you can, let it go and just use it as a lesson that that doc isn't the one for you,( and probably not alot of other people either.) I endorse the notion to find another doc.
I too started back at school and took only one class. There is nothing wimpy about doing it that way. Once you are there and have an idea of how you are going to get around campus you may want to take more classes next term. Or you may find that the one class is enough for now. I found that attending that one class to be enough to start me in the right direction.
You are on the right path, don't let a person you have met only once cause you to doubt yourself, your sanity, your health concerns or the things you have chosen to do to get better. Good luck and hugs.

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Laurei R on 6/15/01 at 18:51 (050787)

Dear Beverly , I have all the TLC you need.... Frist of all I would of been crying too.. It makes me very mad to know that their are doctors like her. She has no business being a doctor .....I don't wish foot pain on anyone , but maybe if she did have it than her attitude would of not been that way .... Aslo she was so out of line to even think you were a Hper what ever I can't spell the word .... That was wrong wrong wrong....

Beverly I know you are upset ,anyone would be ,but don't let her get the best of you . She has no clue what you are feeling pain wise. I bet the visit and meaness had nothing to do with you .She was probably having a bad day or her man left her ......Try to have a good night .You know we are here for you.I am so sorry that a doctor would treat you this way . Remember what goes around comes around.... She will get hers..

Hang in there... We understand . Your friend ,Laurie
Here is a extra big hug for you ...

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Steve P on 6/15/01 at 20:49 (050792)

Beverly --- Great comments above. i don't think I can add anything, except to say hang in there & don't let this get you down. You've become very knowledgeable on PF & probably know more about it than this doc. She has 'an attitude' & you're not going to get anywhere with her, so please don't let it upset you.

best.........Steve

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Beverly on 6/15/01 at 23:30 (050806)

Thanks Lori, Brian, Laurie, Paula, and Steve,

I am in a much better frame of mind. My great escape has always been going to the grocery store. Thanks to electric scooters, it's still my great escape. So, I ran away to the grocery store for a couple of hours.

I have to wonder how many people with chronic conditions that will neither kill you nor visably deterioate the body get written off by doctors as being 'too focused on their health.' I have certainly heard this from friends with fibroymyalgia and chronic fatigue.

Whatever the doctor might have believed, I think it was very out of line to suggest that I might be a hyprochondriac on the third time I met her. Three visits is not long enough to form a clear opinion on something as subjective as that.

It did surprise me that she didn't do an EKG if for no other reason than to cover her butt just in case her opinion was wrong. (Especially since my own mother died of a heart attack at a fairly young age!)

In regards to PF, I believe it is those of us with chronic pain who don't give up and keep pushing for a solution are the ones who finally find one or at least find something to improve the problem. I can't help but think of my recent fourth attempt at orthodics as an example. They are my first pair to show promise.

Getting discounted by the doctor seems to be a common thread among PF sufferers. After being on this board over a year, I have noticed that my experience is by no means rare.
Thanks for listening,
Beverly

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Laurie R on 6/15/01 at 23:53 (050809)

Hi again Beverly ,
Your right this does happen a lot with PF . I just feel maybe the doctor that act like this just don't understand PF. I guess I am very lucky to have a Pod like the one I have. He also has PF . Now the frist visit I had with him I did not care for him at all ,than the second visit was so different and from than on he has been so compassionate and caring.

It does make me so mad that something like PF is not taken serious enough . The pain is real and it can get so bad at times. What in the world did your doctor mean by ' you take your health to serious?? Aren't we suppose to take our health serious ?? I have always thought so ...

Like I said you are so much better than to let this doctor get the best of you Beverly .... Hang in there ,it will be ok. Maybe you can get another doctor ,one that will care about you and your pain.

I think you are wonderful and I have always thought this ......

Have a good night . Laurie R

Re: I am so sorry Beverly

Tammie on 6/16/01 at 10:09 (050833)

I am really sorry that you should ever have had this expierance! I do believe you and understand your feelings, when you are made to feel like this , Dr.s are hurting themselves and there patients, because it teaches us to fear telling them anything (that in reality) might help them diagnose a problem! This is so sad and seems to happen more often then realized. I do know that we are all human and they are not God and have BAD days to but still they are professionals and should always keep in mind that everyone has feelings and we should be treated in the way they would like to be treated if they were sitting on the table! Someday it could very well be them there in a office with a dr, the same as them! That is what puts me off of going to a dr. quickly.Compassion I think is something we are taught at a young age and if we dont get it then I am not sure it can be learned later, and with the numbers rising and pressures for the medical profession ,we are becoming a brand on our heads ,(Insur,yes insur,no hmo ,bc/bs/ etc) and then it is like a conveyer belt in one room and on to the next with not even a breath inbetween got to make the quota,as for quality sit down time with a paitent hmmm think that is about gone along with home visits! Now it is the nurse or a assistant who gives most info. Dont take it Beverly, it might har you and your health in long run try to find a human dr. not a overworked dr. with little compassion,And good luck !!!!I dont think this person had a clu to what a person withthis problem is going thru, but in defense, I did not either till I was put in this position myself. Who could ever know unless you are a sufferer yourself, as seems there is NO quick fix anywhere or any type of treatment seems all have the ( takes time) attached to it! Hugs to u and I apoligize for the insensitivity of the so called doc.Because noone should ever pass judgement till they walk our shoes !

Re: I am so sorry Beverly

Beverly on 6/16/01 at 12:48 (050838)

I feel better this morning. Thank you so much for all your TLC and validation. I think the dangerous thing about my experience at that doctor's office is that when you are already feeling low and filled with alot of anxiety about both the present and the future, it is easy start wondering if perhaps the doctor is right.

It helps to hear all the positive feedback from you validating my feelings.

A much better tactic would have been for her to say something like, 'If you're not getting out much, perhaps you are also depressed...'

And yes, I am definitely dumping this doctor. I have a PPO.

Thanks,
Beverly

PS: This 'too focused patient' is going shoe shopping today. Now that I've found a good set of orthodics, I'm looking for some slip ons with a decent footbed that will accomodate the orthodics. I'm getting tired of lacing my shoe laces everytime I get up for a glass of water! I tried putting them in my Dansko's but that didn't work.

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Dr. Zuckerman on 6/16/01 at 18:04 (050865)

Good to vent but just because the MD is behind the name doesn't give that person the right to say these thing.s Oh by the way MD stands for Mad Dog , not medical doctor. You can't control what other doctor say only how you react and you did react great. Should of told the Mad Dog off, but you did with calm cool collective answers Now tell him off on this board

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

JudyS on 6/17/01 at 12:27 (050898)

TexBev, as NancyN, TexBarb and I were chatting over bagels in the motel yesterday, we compared notes about similar experiences we've had with docs. I described to them your post about this and we all just shook our heads and empathised!
Perhaps the number one rule for continuing to treat with a particular doc is to ask yourself if your're comfy with him/her. I'd like to think that I'd deep-six this one immediately. She should know better, especially on only visit number 2, than to use this kind of language with you. It only creates emotional misery. Clearly she hasn't had time to get to know you and to suggest that you should dramatically change your lifestyle is premature. I feel that she has no right to say that you should be taking more coursework, be out more, etc. She's not a therapist, right? In fact, we've 'known' you for a good while now.....and we completely understand the longevity of your discomfort and the ever-expanding soreness in to other areas of the foot - no one here would dream of passing those kinds of judgements on to you. As always I tend to push the 'take charge' theory of healing - are you able to search out another doctor - one who will take a teamwork approach?

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Nancy N on 6/17/01 at 16:17 (050904)

Bev--

I'd also echo everything that's already been said, but I have one idea. I am not sure from your post if you did this or not, but in my experience, if someone thinks that you are clueless or uninformed, the best way to get their respect is to prove to them that you are not. I also think it was horribly negligent of this woman not to give you an EKG, considering your family history. It's not clear if you reminded her of that history or not, but I sure would have. I also would have spouted as much technical information as I could have about my PF and the factors that contribute to it. Proving that you know what you're talking about may not always get someone to listen to you, but it at least gives you the knowledge that you did everything you could do to show that you're not crazy or overreacting.

It almost makes me think you should write up a list of exactly what symptoms you have and your understanding of the problem before you go see your new doctor (I'm so glad you're ditching this one!). When I went for my second opinion last year, I had written up my whole history so we could just cut to the chase. It was really helpful, both to get the facts and chronology straight in my mind, and to the doctor I saw. At the very least, it gives you a feeling of control about your health.

Good luck with your new doc, and do keep us posted!!

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Paula on 6/18/01 at 13:53 (050966)

Geez, Beverly. What kind of a doctor is this person? Too focused on foot pain. Golly, I wonder if that has anything to do with the idea that we must walk everywhere we go???????
I used to be a registered nurse and gave it up for several reasons, but one was the insensitivity that is out there so much. There are wonderful doctors....just so hard to find.
hang in there....I know how depressing these morons can be when they are so darned insensitive.
Let's see....get out...do more....When what I seem to read in all my studying is REST those feet!! How can we be heard as a group? How can we make people understand the pain....the constant pain just to exist and be a little mobile we suffer the consequences???? You are not alone, Beverly.

Re: Reflections and thanks and feedback to all my TLC senders!

Beverly on 6/18/01 at 15:32 (050974)

Wow! I guess alot of us have had bad doctor experiences from the response I've received!

Nancy, yes, I clued her in on my family cardio history. I'm feeling ok now or I would have gone to ER. Ironically, I have found with this type of doctor personality that using alot of technical jargon evidently just gets you labeled 'too focused on your health.' It's like the doctor who told a friend of mine with chronic fatigue 'not to read books about it because it will just confuse her more... too many dissenting opionions.' I honestly think it is the rare doctor who likes a medically educated patient. I think most of them want us to be like 'children.' I may just have a jaded outlook at the moment...

I think what I'm going to do is just stay with the orthopedic surgeon for things related to my feet. I had wanted to tackle this from a whole body standpoint. That is why I went to the internist. I did get one helpful thing for all my trouble with the woman. I got to find out that my bloodwork is completely normal. She checked for everything under the sun.

Since I have a foot doctor and GYN and plenty of refills left on meds, I have time to shop around for a general practicer or internist.

I do prefer a female GYN, but otherwise, my experience thus far with female doctors is not good. I hate that, because I always thought a woman would understand a woman's problems better. But that has not been my experience. By and large, I've found women doctors to be crticial and judgemental of me as a patient. I've certainly run into some bozo male doctors, but for the most part, male doctors tend to be sympathetic. They'll say encouraging things like, 'We're going to get you past this' .... or 'Let's run some tests... or 'Feeling ill can cause stress and lead to depression. Would you like to try an antidepressant?'

I usually leave the male doctor's office feeling one of two things: 1. Encouragement that one way or another, with time/treatment, I'll get better. or 2. A fatherly pat on the back that at least feels empathetic.

I like to think of myself as a feminist, and I would never say this about women as a whole in other professions, but I just have not had good experiences with women in medicine. Maybe women are harder on other women. I come away feeling like I'm suppose to 'buck up... toughen up...'

Well, on the bright side, I had a great weekend. Went to the first party I've been to in a long, long time. Plenty of places to sit, thank God. I'm still a bit sore from the extra fun, but it was good for my state of mind.

Thanks for all your support,
Beverly

Re: I need some TLC. Worst doctor visit yet. Came home in tears...

Kathy on 6/23/01 at 09:39 (051337)

I am so sorry that you have such a cruel doctor. She may mean well and think what you need is a pep talk (we'll give her the benefit of the doubt) but she obviously has never suffered from foot pain nor studied it. My podiatrist of five years is one of the kindest, most compassionate people I've ever met and I am so greatful that my primary care physician recommended him to me. He never slights my pain and has said that until someone has chronic foot pain, they have no idea what it's like.

Can you get a new doctor? I would, because with your ailments, it seems as though you need someone who is kinder and more understanding. In these days of HMO's it's difficult, I know.

I just broke down and asked for a handicapped tag for my car and the doctor couldn't have been more compliant! It absolutely kills me to use it but no as much as it kills me to have to walk!!

Good luck - remember there are nice doctors out ther, you just have to hunt for them sometimes!