Home The Book Dr Articles Products Message Boards Journal Articles Search Our Surveys Surgery ESWT Dr Messages Find Good Drs video

desperately need real exercise

Posted by Lori B. on 7/31/01 at hrmin (054932)

I want to shriek when I read this site's advice to lose weight. I would love to lose weight. It comes right off, when I RUN. Nothing else is sufficiently hard. I can't do meaningful, vigorous exercise with this heel pain. Exercise is the only way I can lose weight. I don't have access to a pool. Most people don't. And pools are never open reasonable hours to accommodate those of us who have to work for a living. I read in another thread here that if I'm cycling, I should make sure that my foot is 'inside' the pedal. What is that supposed to mean? Believe me, good doctors, I am completely in favor of losing weight. But this problem is why I can't.

Re: Amen to the Shriek!

Carmen H on 7/31/01 at 09:45 (054941)

I hear you loud and clear!!!!!! I am equally frustrated. I am going to my doc tomorrow and just starting back to the gym reguarly as my feet will allow the morning after the appt. ONLY upper body and legs sitting (NO cardio)of course but STILL it's something. If you set up a series of exercises and just keep moving your heart rate will increase and you'll burn calories. NO it's not what you're used to (ME either) but it's something to keep you sane. I made a morning out of it the other day and did Biceps on one bench, moved to the other and did some back moved to the other and did Abs....and NEVER stopped moving. I did a good stretching session afterwards too and that made me feel better. I do MINIMAL weights that I can carry wihtout hurting my feet (5 and 10 pounds instead of the 15 and 20 I am used to) and only take one step from the weights to my chair. If possible have someone carry them for you. Do all your ex. sitting or laying...no standing. THAT kills...I learned early on in this mess. If my feet hurt I only do machines and no free weights AT ALL.
It's a mess but hang in there.....As far as the Bike is concerned I can't do much of it due to Piriformus trouble but I think they mean keep your foot 'totally supported' by keeping it all the way in on the pedal....close to the bike so your foot isn't hanging over at all? MAYBE? I remember that from Spin class but don't know if that's the advice meant to give....
I understand how you feel....but there's a lesson here....I keep thinking God is trying to tell me to quit being so concerned with the OUTside and work more on the inside and that this is his way of slowing me down to pay attention. I am not an extremely religious person but I do believe in the signs....

Re: You don't have to be 'religious' to be spiritual

Julie on 7/31/01 at 10:01 (054946)

Hi Carmen

It's lovely, what you say. Keep listening. The 'outside' is only a small part of you, and yes, we do have to slow down to pay attention to what's going on inside. You really are on the path to healing, and I salute you.

Re: Thanks Julie...

Carmen H on 7/31/01 at 11:29 (054963)

Thanks...that's good to hear. B/c sometimes the only time I feel encouraged to be patient is when I am giving advice to someone else or hearing the encouragement from someone else. It really helps.
I called the doctors office today that I am going to tomorrow and mentioned that I would need a little more time then usual with the doc and asked did she need to know that ahead of time and she said ...'No honey...You're seeing a GOOD doctor. It'll be fine.'
So that made me feel better too...

Re: unfortunately

Lorikay on 7/31/01 at hrmin (054978)

No offense, but your well-meaning and kind advice is utterly irrelevant to the unpleasant reality of my situation. I am significantly overweight and 36, and since I don't want to die alone, I have to get back to fighting weight, in the fond hope of dating and marrying again, someday. And the only thing that has ever worked for me is real cardio workouts. Weights and abs, however vigorously practiced, will not do this for me. This is a disaster. I have always exercised my way out of trouble before, and now I can't.

I'm glad spirituality and being kind to yourself is good for you, but we live in a superficial, sizeist, cruel, judgmental, dismissive world, and it is quite evident to me that the only way I'll get a presentable man to give me the time of day is to weigh less than 160. I've got to go to a smart aggressive sports doctor and tell him that I am not interested in messing around with ice and wraps and no activity in varying ineffective combinations for the next six months while my butt just gets wider.

Re: Thanks Julie...

Julie on 7/31/01 at 15:54 (054981)

That's good, Carmen! (I like the 'honey' part.) I wish you lots of luck for tomorrow. Let us know how it goes.

Re: At the risk of putting my foot in it....

wendyn on 7/31/01 at 17:33 (054989)

First - Carmen - that is all excellent advice.

Lorikay, you will find a lot of people here (doctors and fellow patients) willing to spend their time to try to offer you support and advice. This isn't easy for anyone.

Some advice you might take - some you won't...please bear in mind that as you say...it's all well intended.

You indicicate that you are significantly over weight...if you run while you are significantly over weight - you could be doing catostrophic damage to your feet and knees. Running may be a good thing to work towards...but it's not a great place to start, especially with an injury. Running places about 10 times your body weight on each foot with every step.

It may take longer, but walking, biking and swimming all burn calories just like running does. There are many of us who are average weight who will never run again.

I fear that if the only thing you are interested in is finding a way to run, and you'll accept nothing less - you could be in for a very frustrating time.

Re: unfortunately

Scott R on 7/31/01 at 18:48 (055001)

Lori, you don't have to die alone. I have a nice storage room in my back yard. When you get to be in your dying days, you can stay there and I'll bring you food every evening around six. Heck, with a power cord, we can set up with a TV. Alabama winters aren't that cold. 180 pounds ain't bad at all if it's mostly muscle. hubba hubba. Somebody stop me. She 'cussed me out' by email, threatened bodily harm, apparently has digits thin enough to punch keys on a keybord, and actually used one of them thar fancy words ('crass'). It's not Zima this time, but 2 heaping teaspoons of cocoa in a cup of hot soy milk that did it. Sorry. Somebody foul me.

Re: unfortunately

JudyS on 7/31/01 at 19:07 (055004)

Scott I keep telling you.....you've GOT to get off that cocoa!

Re: unfortunately

Scott R on 7/31/01 at 19:44 (055007)

You know what they say, with our without the sugar and milk that bastardizes it into American chocolate, cocoa's the love drug. (with all do respect to DHEA, Yohimbe, and Viagra)

Re: unfortunately

nancy s. on 7/31/01 at 20:10 (055008)

scott, you might share some of those interesting emails with us sometimes, ya know.

Re: Here's another foot in it

Glenn X on 7/31/01 at hrmin (055010)

Before PF I did free-weights and nautilus equipment and stairmaster with a little bike and treadmill thrown in for variety. Three days a week or so. Pretty good workout. Augmented with hikes and walks it kept me in good shape.

With PF, I now just do nautilus equipment and a reclining bike. But I move through the nautilus equipment steadily, doing 2-3 sets and 8 to 12 reps on several machines, while keeping my heart rate up (circuit training). After 20-30 minutes of this I do the bike 15 minutes at 'easy' resistance. Since my heart rate is elevated from the weight-pushing, I remain in my target-heart range throughout peddling. If I kept at it, I'm sure I could continue to 'easily' keep my heart rate up another hour.

This is a low impact, easy on my PF workout that works very well for me. At minimum I feel in as good a shape as before the onset of PF.

The change was frustrating to undergo, but took just a few weeks to get used to. I like it now. I think too that because I'm required to be generally less active with PF it's easier to fit my workouts into a regular routine.

There's a way.

Re: unfortunately

Scott R on 7/31/01 at 20:24 (055012)

She just emailed me cussing about her problem, i told her cussing would only seduce me, she said she was sorry for being crass and overweight which is why she was in a bad MOOD, i asked if she really meant MOOOOOD, she said I could get hurt saynig stuff like that, and i called her a lier for making promises.

Re: Perhaps the biggest foot of all

Nancy N on 7/31/01 at 21:28 (055018)

Lorikay--

I am writing to you because I hear a lot of myself in your voice. I do hope you won't be offended, but I understand if you are. I am just telling you what I have found on my journey in the hope that it might be useful to you. I hope you'll take it in that spirit.

I am 29 years old, almost 30. If the number in Scott's email is correct, then I weigh a lot more than you do. I would be thrilled to be at 180, but that won't make you feel any better, and it isn't the point, either.

I have been dealing with my compulsive eating disorder for the last six months. It is not an easy road, but it is the only one that is going to help me heal both my body and my spirit, and that is why I am writing to you. I am not saying this to imply that you have an eating disorder--I don't know anything about you, and I would not presume to make that judgment. But I am worried by your comments about having to be thin to find a partner, and that you felt you had to apologize for being overweight. There is no reason at all for you not to be dating now if you want to be, regardless of your size. (As far as I'm concerned, anyone who judges me based solely on my size isn't worth my time anyway.)

I haven't been on a date in several years, by my own choice--so I don't know what the answers are. But I do know that changing my body to please someone else isn't one of them. If you want to lose weight for yourself, that's great! Go for it, and I believe you will succeed. But if you think that you need to lose it in order to please someone else, you are diminishing yourself for the sake of a need you perceive in others. I realize that there are a lot of sizeist people in the world--but I have also noticed that a lot of the time, I'm far harder on myself than anyone else would be, sizeist or not. It's something that's taught in our culture, regardless of how big you are when you learn it. I can be really cynical, and I am sorry that both of us have fallen victim to that destructive way of thinking. And I'm sorry that you feel the need to yell at Scott via email--because those things are not going to fix the problem. The only thing that will fix what you perceive to be a problem is for you to learn to love yourself as you are. Again, this is not a state I have reached yet, so I can't tell you how to get there. But I can tell you that until you do, and until you stop taking your fears out on yourself, you won't be able to lose weight permanently or to allow someone to love you. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way.

I sincerely hope that you can find a way to be more gentle with yourself and learn to appreciate your own particular talents. You'll be happier for it, and maybe you won't feel such a strong need to find someone else to make you complete. I know of some good resources--if you're interested, let me know.

Re: Perhaps the biggest foot of all

Tammie on 7/31/01 at 21:37 (055019)

Well put and I hear you from your heart and nothing is better then a heartfelt thought and voice! Hugs to u nancy!!!!!!!

Re: unfortunately -- FOUL on Scott

nancy s. on 7/31/01 at 22:14 (055023)

you misspelled 'liar.'

Re: Perhaps the biggest foot of all

nancy s. on 7/31/01 at 22:17 (055024)

this is a beautiful post, nancy, filled with truth and wisdom and acceptance -- all much needed in this world. i hope lori takes heart from it.
n.

Re: Perhaps the biggest foot of all

Necee on 7/31/01 at 22:32 (055026)

Well said!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's not the size of the person, but the size of the HEART that counts.
Necee

Re: Perhaps the biggest foot of all

Laurie R on 8/01/01 at 01:08 (055033)

All I can say Nancy N is WOW ...You write so beautiful ... You do speak from the heart .Everything you say is very true. You have to love yourself ,but for some that is so hard ,boy don't I know that. Your words will help so many thin and not so thin . As you know Nancy I have had an eating disorder ever since I was 13 ,I am going to be 39 this Oct and I still battle it everyday ... Their is always a reason why someone has an eating disorder ,for me it has nothing to do with being thin. Thank you so much for your post ,it really made me think . Also thank you for speaking from your heart to Lori ...

My best to you ,Your friend Laurie R

Re: No foul, Scott

Julie on 8/01/01 at 01:11 (055034)

If being a webmaster means putting up with e-mail conversations like that you deserve a medal for not shutting down the site altogether.

Re: Fortunately

Julie on 8/01/01 at 01:49 (055038)

Lorikay (I'm not sure if you are the 'Lori B' who made the original post), Wendy has given you good advice about running, and Nancy has given you a lot to think about. I hope you will think about what they've said.

Fortunately, the world is not entirely as you see it. There are lots of people who aren't superficial, sizeist, cruel, judgemental and dismissive, but generous and nice and accepting and loving. The evidence is right here on this thread, in the responses you've had.

Look around you: there are men out there who don't share the negative attributes you list - perhaps some of them would be more responsive to you if you yourself were less down on the world, and less dismissive of folk who want to help.

There are lots of men who like big women. Most people like people, whatever their size, as long as they observe the single rule of heelspurs.com - which applies very nicely to the world in general - Be Nice.

I guess you have PF, or you wouldn't be talking about telling a smart sports doctor what you will and won't do about your feet. So your exercise for now has to be non-weight-bearing. If you really must have cardiac workouts, get yourself to a pool (there must be one somewhere within striking distance, if you are Lori B) and spend an hour a day in it doing a variety of strokes - crawl is best, cardiovascularly, but breast stroke, back stroke and side stroke are all great too. I guarantee you that after an hour your heart rate will be up. Your breathing (and your spirits) will improve too. If you can't swim, get to a gym and spend that hour on a stationary bike. Then do the upper body work that Carmen suggests. Find a good yoga teacher. Yoga has significant effects on metabolism, and also on one's eating habits. Have a look at Pilates, an excellent system of non-weight-bearing exercise with which you can, if you work at it, change your shape by targeting and strengthening your abdominal muscles (amongst others).

Go to Weight Watchers and get their support in watching your food intake. The weight will drop off.

The world is full of possibilities. Take a wider view. Get out there and enjoy yourself.

Re: Nothing anyone EVER says is irrelevant

Carmen H on 8/01/01 at 07:32 (055044)

You shouldn't be so quick to judge things as 'irrelevent'. When we are in desperate situations (as most of us are on this board)....EVERYthing people say to you is important. Anyone that wants to be better believes in the people who TRY to help.....whether it works or not. Remember this board is FREE.....and it says 'Be nice' when posting......

Re: Nothing anyone EVER says is irrelevant

ellen w on 8/01/01 at 09:07 (055050)

Scott,
Given NY rents, I may want to take you up on the storage shed, if that's an open offer...
ellen

Re: One more thing....or two...or whatever comes out

Carmen H on 8/01/01 at 16:48 (055126)

You know I re-read what you wrote Lori and then I re-read what others wrote...including myself. I do this alot b/c it helps me learn. So upon reflection I have come up with this.
What does a 'presentable man' mean to you? Does 'presentable' mean a 'thin' or 'in shape' man? Because if it does then YOU are placing the EXACT SAME restrictions on 'finding someone' that you are basically asking someone to NOT place on YOU! Do you see what I mean? You seem to want a man that will accept who you are inside BUT you want a man that looks good on the outside....how can you even EXPECT antoher human being to offer themselves to you for UNCONDITIONAL love with this attitude? It's unfair of you to make a statement like that. We ARE ALL presentable as human beings. I think what has been written to you about needing help and losing weight and allllll the wonderful words of wisdom are great! I think you have been offered a Plethra of heartfelt wisdom and advice. But in my 'Offended' response I have to say it seems like these words may fall on deaf ears. People with an attitude like the one you have displayed need an education on Karma....'What you do comes back to you'....I apologize and I AM Sorry if this seems 'not nice' to anyone but blaming BAD moods from any condition we have is not fair to the people around us. The body knows when it's being rejected and neglected from positivity....I know mine does. It was a long road but I know that for sure. So no matter the pain or situation....remember SOMEONE in this world has it much worse then you.
Whew....Lori...I certainly WISH you BETTER soon.

Re: Amen to the Shriek!

Carmen H on 7/31/01 at 09:45 (054941)

I hear you loud and clear!!!!!! I am equally frustrated. I am going to my doc tomorrow and just starting back to the gym reguarly as my feet will allow the morning after the appt. ONLY upper body and legs sitting (NO cardio)of course but STILL it's something. If you set up a series of exercises and just keep moving your heart rate will increase and you'll burn calories. NO it's not what you're used to (ME either) but it's something to keep you sane. I made a morning out of it the other day and did Biceps on one bench, moved to the other and did some back moved to the other and did Abs....and NEVER stopped moving. I did a good stretching session afterwards too and that made me feel better. I do MINIMAL weights that I can carry wihtout hurting my feet (5 and 10 pounds instead of the 15 and 20 I am used to) and only take one step from the weights to my chair. If possible have someone carry them for you. Do all your ex. sitting or laying...no standing. THAT kills...I learned early on in this mess. If my feet hurt I only do machines and no free weights AT ALL.
It's a mess but hang in there.....As far as the Bike is concerned I can't do much of it due to Piriformus trouble but I think they mean keep your foot 'totally supported' by keeping it all the way in on the pedal....close to the bike so your foot isn't hanging over at all? MAYBE? I remember that from Spin class but don't know if that's the advice meant to give....
I understand how you feel....but there's a lesson here....I keep thinking God is trying to tell me to quit being so concerned with the OUTside and work more on the inside and that this is his way of slowing me down to pay attention. I am not an extremely religious person but I do believe in the signs....

Re: You don't have to be 'religious' to be spiritual

Julie on 7/31/01 at 10:01 (054946)

Hi Carmen

It's lovely, what you say. Keep listening. The 'outside' is only a small part of you, and yes, we do have to slow down to pay attention to what's going on inside. You really are on the path to healing, and I salute you.

Re: Thanks Julie...

Carmen H on 7/31/01 at 11:29 (054963)

Thanks...that's good to hear. B/c sometimes the only time I feel encouraged to be patient is when I am giving advice to someone else or hearing the encouragement from someone else. It really helps.
I called the doctors office today that I am going to tomorrow and mentioned that I would need a little more time then usual with the doc and asked did she need to know that ahead of time and she said ...'No honey...You're seeing a GOOD doctor. It'll be fine.'
So that made me feel better too...

Re: unfortunately

Lorikay on 7/31/01 at hrmin (054978)

No offense, but your well-meaning and kind advice is utterly irrelevant to the unpleasant reality of my situation. I am significantly overweight and 36, and since I don't want to die alone, I have to get back to fighting weight, in the fond hope of dating and marrying again, someday. And the only thing that has ever worked for me is real cardio workouts. Weights and abs, however vigorously practiced, will not do this for me. This is a disaster. I have always exercised my way out of trouble before, and now I can't.

I'm glad spirituality and being kind to yourself is good for you, but we live in a superficial, sizeist, cruel, judgmental, dismissive world, and it is quite evident to me that the only way I'll get a presentable man to give me the time of day is to weigh less than 160. I've got to go to a smart aggressive sports doctor and tell him that I am not interested in messing around with ice and wraps and no activity in varying ineffective combinations for the next six months while my butt just gets wider.

Re: Thanks Julie...

Julie on 7/31/01 at 15:54 (054981)

That's good, Carmen! (I like the 'honey' part.) I wish you lots of luck for tomorrow. Let us know how it goes.

Re: At the risk of putting my foot in it....

wendyn on 7/31/01 at 17:33 (054989)

First - Carmen - that is all excellent advice.

Lorikay, you will find a lot of people here (doctors and fellow patients) willing to spend their time to try to offer you support and advice. This isn't easy for anyone.

Some advice you might take - some you won't...please bear in mind that as you say...it's all well intended.

You indicicate that you are significantly over weight...if you run while you are significantly over weight - you could be doing catostrophic damage to your feet and knees. Running may be a good thing to work towards...but it's not a great place to start, especially with an injury. Running places about 10 times your body weight on each foot with every step.

It may take longer, but walking, biking and swimming all burn calories just like running does. There are many of us who are average weight who will never run again.

I fear that if the only thing you are interested in is finding a way to run, and you'll accept nothing less - you could be in for a very frustrating time.

Re: unfortunately

Scott R on 7/31/01 at 18:48 (055001)

Lori, you don't have to die alone. I have a nice storage room in my back yard. When you get to be in your dying days, you can stay there and I'll bring you food every evening around six. Heck, with a power cord, we can set up with a TV. Alabama winters aren't that cold. 180 pounds ain't bad at all if it's mostly muscle. hubba hubba. Somebody stop me. She 'cussed me out' by email, threatened bodily harm, apparently has digits thin enough to punch keys on a keybord, and actually used one of them thar fancy words ('crass'). It's not Zima this time, but 2 heaping teaspoons of cocoa in a cup of hot soy milk that did it. Sorry. Somebody foul me.

Re: unfortunately

JudyS on 7/31/01 at 19:07 (055004)

Scott I keep telling you.....you've GOT to get off that cocoa!

Re: unfortunately

Scott R on 7/31/01 at 19:44 (055007)

You know what they say, with our without the sugar and milk that bastardizes it into American chocolate, cocoa's the love drug. (with all do respect to DHEA, Yohimbe, and Viagra)

Re: unfortunately

nancy s. on 7/31/01 at 20:10 (055008)

scott, you might share some of those interesting emails with us sometimes, ya know.

Re: Here's another foot in it

Glenn X on 7/31/01 at hrmin (055010)

Before PF I did free-weights and nautilus equipment and stairmaster with a little bike and treadmill thrown in for variety. Three days a week or so. Pretty good workout. Augmented with hikes and walks it kept me in good shape.

With PF, I now just do nautilus equipment and a reclining bike. But I move through the nautilus equipment steadily, doing 2-3 sets and 8 to 12 reps on several machines, while keeping my heart rate up (circuit training). After 20-30 minutes of this I do the bike 15 minutes at 'easy' resistance. Since my heart rate is elevated from the weight-pushing, I remain in my target-heart range throughout peddling. If I kept at it, I'm sure I could continue to 'easily' keep my heart rate up another hour.

This is a low impact, easy on my PF workout that works very well for me. At minimum I feel in as good a shape as before the onset of PF.

The change was frustrating to undergo, but took just a few weeks to get used to. I like it now. I think too that because I'm required to be generally less active with PF it's easier to fit my workouts into a regular routine.

There's a way.

Re: unfortunately

Scott R on 7/31/01 at 20:24 (055012)

She just emailed me cussing about her problem, i told her cussing would only seduce me, she said she was sorry for being crass and overweight which is why she was in a bad MOOD, i asked if she really meant MOOOOOD, she said I could get hurt saynig stuff like that, and i called her a lier for making promises.

Re: Perhaps the biggest foot of all

Nancy N on 7/31/01 at 21:28 (055018)

Lorikay--

I am writing to you because I hear a lot of myself in your voice. I do hope you won't be offended, but I understand if you are. I am just telling you what I have found on my journey in the hope that it might be useful to you. I hope you'll take it in that spirit.

I am 29 years old, almost 30. If the number in Scott's email is correct, then I weigh a lot more than you do. I would be thrilled to be at 180, but that won't make you feel any better, and it isn't the point, either.

I have been dealing with my compulsive eating disorder for the last six months. It is not an easy road, but it is the only one that is going to help me heal both my body and my spirit, and that is why I am writing to you. I am not saying this to imply that you have an eating disorder--I don't know anything about you, and I would not presume to make that judgment. But I am worried by your comments about having to be thin to find a partner, and that you felt you had to apologize for being overweight. There is no reason at all for you not to be dating now if you want to be, regardless of your size. (As far as I'm concerned, anyone who judges me based solely on my size isn't worth my time anyway.)

I haven't been on a date in several years, by my own choice--so I don't know what the answers are. But I do know that changing my body to please someone else isn't one of them. If you want to lose weight for yourself, that's great! Go for it, and I believe you will succeed. But if you think that you need to lose it in order to please someone else, you are diminishing yourself for the sake of a need you perceive in others. I realize that there are a lot of sizeist people in the world--but I have also noticed that a lot of the time, I'm far harder on myself than anyone else would be, sizeist or not. It's something that's taught in our culture, regardless of how big you are when you learn it. I can be really cynical, and I am sorry that both of us have fallen victim to that destructive way of thinking. And I'm sorry that you feel the need to yell at Scott via email--because those things are not going to fix the problem. The only thing that will fix what you perceive to be a problem is for you to learn to love yourself as you are. Again, this is not a state I have reached yet, so I can't tell you how to get there. But I can tell you that until you do, and until you stop taking your fears out on yourself, you won't be able to lose weight permanently or to allow someone to love you. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way.

I sincerely hope that you can find a way to be more gentle with yourself and learn to appreciate your own particular talents. You'll be happier for it, and maybe you won't feel such a strong need to find someone else to make you complete. I know of some good resources--if you're interested, let me know.

Re: Perhaps the biggest foot of all

Tammie on 7/31/01 at 21:37 (055019)

Well put and I hear you from your heart and nothing is better then a heartfelt thought and voice! Hugs to u nancy!!!!!!!

Re: unfortunately -- FOUL on Scott

nancy s. on 7/31/01 at 22:14 (055023)

you misspelled 'liar.'

Re: Perhaps the biggest foot of all

nancy s. on 7/31/01 at 22:17 (055024)

this is a beautiful post, nancy, filled with truth and wisdom and acceptance -- all much needed in this world. i hope lori takes heart from it.
n.

Re: Perhaps the biggest foot of all

Necee on 7/31/01 at 22:32 (055026)

Well said!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's not the size of the person, but the size of the HEART that counts.
Necee

Re: Perhaps the biggest foot of all

Laurie R on 8/01/01 at 01:08 (055033)

All I can say Nancy N is WOW ...You write so beautiful ... You do speak from the heart .Everything you say is very true. You have to love yourself ,but for some that is so hard ,boy don't I know that. Your words will help so many thin and not so thin . As you know Nancy I have had an eating disorder ever since I was 13 ,I am going to be 39 this Oct and I still battle it everyday ... Their is always a reason why someone has an eating disorder ,for me it has nothing to do with being thin. Thank you so much for your post ,it really made me think . Also thank you for speaking from your heart to Lori ...

My best to you ,Your friend Laurie R

Re: No foul, Scott

Julie on 8/01/01 at 01:11 (055034)

If being a webmaster means putting up with e-mail conversations like that you deserve a medal for not shutting down the site altogether.

Re: Fortunately

Julie on 8/01/01 at 01:49 (055038)

Lorikay (I'm not sure if you are the 'Lori B' who made the original post), Wendy has given you good advice about running, and Nancy has given you a lot to think about. I hope you will think about what they've said.

Fortunately, the world is not entirely as you see it. There are lots of people who aren't superficial, sizeist, cruel, judgemental and dismissive, but generous and nice and accepting and loving. The evidence is right here on this thread, in the responses you've had.

Look around you: there are men out there who don't share the negative attributes you list - perhaps some of them would be more responsive to you if you yourself were less down on the world, and less dismissive of folk who want to help.

There are lots of men who like big women. Most people like people, whatever their size, as long as they observe the single rule of heelspurs.com - which applies very nicely to the world in general - Be Nice.

I guess you have PF, or you wouldn't be talking about telling a smart sports doctor what you will and won't do about your feet. So your exercise for now has to be non-weight-bearing. If you really must have cardiac workouts, get yourself to a pool (there must be one somewhere within striking distance, if you are Lori B) and spend an hour a day in it doing a variety of strokes - crawl is best, cardiovascularly, but breast stroke, back stroke and side stroke are all great too. I guarantee you that after an hour your heart rate will be up. Your breathing (and your spirits) will improve too. If you can't swim, get to a gym and spend that hour on a stationary bike. Then do the upper body work that Carmen suggests. Find a good yoga teacher. Yoga has significant effects on metabolism, and also on one's eating habits. Have a look at Pilates, an excellent system of non-weight-bearing exercise with which you can, if you work at it, change your shape by targeting and strengthening your abdominal muscles (amongst others).

Go to Weight Watchers and get their support in watching your food intake. The weight will drop off.

The world is full of possibilities. Take a wider view. Get out there and enjoy yourself.

Re: Nothing anyone EVER says is irrelevant

Carmen H on 8/01/01 at 07:32 (055044)

You shouldn't be so quick to judge things as 'irrelevent'. When we are in desperate situations (as most of us are on this board)....EVERYthing people say to you is important. Anyone that wants to be better believes in the people who TRY to help.....whether it works or not. Remember this board is FREE.....and it says 'Be nice' when posting......

Re: Nothing anyone EVER says is irrelevant

ellen w on 8/01/01 at 09:07 (055050)

Scott,
Given NY rents, I may want to take you up on the storage shed, if that's an open offer...
ellen

Re: One more thing....or two...or whatever comes out

Carmen H on 8/01/01 at 16:48 (055126)

You know I re-read what you wrote Lori and then I re-read what others wrote...including myself. I do this alot b/c it helps me learn. So upon reflection I have come up with this.
What does a 'presentable man' mean to you? Does 'presentable' mean a 'thin' or 'in shape' man? Because if it does then YOU are placing the EXACT SAME restrictions on 'finding someone' that you are basically asking someone to NOT place on YOU! Do you see what I mean? You seem to want a man that will accept who you are inside BUT you want a man that looks good on the outside....how can you even EXPECT antoher human being to offer themselves to you for UNCONDITIONAL love with this attitude? It's unfair of you to make a statement like that. We ARE ALL presentable as human beings. I think what has been written to you about needing help and losing weight and allllll the wonderful words of wisdom are great! I think you have been offered a Plethra of heartfelt wisdom and advice. But in my 'Offended' response I have to say it seems like these words may fall on deaf ears. People with an attitude like the one you have displayed need an education on Karma....'What you do comes back to you'....I apologize and I AM Sorry if this seems 'not nice' to anyone but blaming BAD moods from any condition we have is not fair to the people around us. The body knows when it's being rejected and neglected from positivity....I know mine does. It was a long road but I know that for sure. So no matter the pain or situation....remember SOMEONE in this world has it much worse then you.
Whew....Lori...I certainly WISH you BETTER soon.