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rally 'round the flagpole..........

Posted by JudyS on 9/15/01 at 14:48 (060471)

I thought you guys might find a brief experience I had yesterday interesting.....
I went to a memorial/tribute service for this weeks' victims at the college where both my husband and I work.
The service was brief, and, I thought, lacking. No music, no convocation, no choir, no singing excepting a beautiful solo of 'Amazing Grace. I mentioned to my husband that, with all due respect to the organizers, it sure seemed like an empty tribute.
Anyway, we found out later (turns out other attendees complained about the brevity of the service) that the reason that there was no patriotic singing of songs like 'God Bless America' was out of fear that attendees who were not Christian would be offended.
How about that.

Re: rally 'round the flagpole..........

Donna M on 9/15/01 at 15:49 (060480)

That is strange and actually ridiculous!! You can't get much more Christian than Amazing Grace!!
Hope you are doing well Judy. You know it is really amazing the things that happen in our lives that seem to help us cope with others. Meaning, I know you are dreadfully missing your son, but with all that has happened it takes your pain and attention from one place and directs it to another. (You know what I mean, not that you are not missing him as much, but there is more to think about!)
This is minor compared to your son being 'across the water' and the tragedy at the WTC, but kind of a comparison!
When my oldest daughter told us she was getting married, I had a heck of a time dealing with it. Even though she, and my now son-in-law, had been dating 6 years and she was almost 23 years old! I could not discuss the wedding without crying. I mean I was a wreck! I wanted her to get married someday, but no time soon! This meant I was losing one of my babies, in my eyes!!
As the wedding got closer, she made me promise I would not cry. She said it was her special day and was supposed to be happy and that if I cried she would cry and she didn't want to on her wedding day. So naturally I promised. From then on I started praying, asking God to help me not to put a shadow on her day by crying. To help me to be strong and keep my tears to myself.
Well......two days before her wedding we had an ice storm and temps were in the single digits!! To make a long story short, there was no electricity in almost our whole area. My daughter said, 'the show must go on'!! We pulled off a formal wedding, using only candles as light, no heat, the punch for the reception froze as we put it into cups, we had used kerosene heaters to thaw it in the first place! Everyone there, but the wedding parties had on thermal underwear, coveralls, gloves, etc.!! Like I said the temp was low, like about 8 degrees!! Oh, we didn't even get to have rehearsal! They had TV, radio and newspaper coverage. Word of this wedding spread!! We had a local radio station using generators and on my battery operated radio, I learned both my daughters were in a ditch on the way to one of the few peoples houses in the whole area that had power and water where they were going to let them shower and fix their hair before the wedding!!
My prayers were answered, not anyway like I expected, but I didn't cry at her wedding! To much going on and if I had I would have really been a sight with frozen teardrops hanging on my eyes!!
Anyway, things will be fine with him, although I know you miss him terribly!! Just have to make sure you take care and don't let yourself get to low worrying about him.
Take care,
Donna

Re: rally 'round the flagpole..........

JudyS on 9/15/01 at 16:38 (060486)

Good Heavens, Donna, what a story! You sure had to put your best Mom self forward for that experience! And just think what your daughters learned from it!
And thank you so very much for your kind words about my son. He has phoned and emailed regularly this week as his 'group' goes through the same trauma we all have. In spite of it though, the directors are keeping them busy on tour and he is loving every minute of it.

There is, however, really only ONE reason why my heart is no longer fearful about my son....that reason is in the form of our Julie who is in touch with Chris and offering support. I trust her judgement and I trust her ability to give my son solace should he need it - and I'm eternally grateful to her and her Klaus for tolerating my knee-jerk - like Mom reaction to this week's tragedy.

Re: rally 'round the flagpole..........

Donna M on 9/15/01 at 23:11 (060519)

Yes, you (and he) are fortunate indeed to have her over there for him!
I haven't been on here that long at all, but what I've read about Julie and from Julie, she seems like quite a person!!!

Re: you're right, donna . . .

nancy s. on 9/16/01 at 00:26 (060529)

. . . julie _is_ quite a person! a real human being, and about as giving as one can get.

and hey there, judy, i'm missin' ya.

Re: you're right, donna . . .

JudyS on 9/16/01 at 00:38 (060531)

Hey Nan - why are you up so late?

Re: you're right, donna . . .

nancy s. on 9/16/01 at 01:14 (060539)

hey jude, search me! why am i up so late . . . it's been an excruciatingly painful week, i had a nap on the couch today, and i can't leave the room because my lovely mac keeps calling, calling, calling. nice to see you! more soon.
p.s. say, wasn't 'why are you up so late' one of the first things you ever said to me? it's comforting somehow -- thanks!

Re: you're right, donna . . .

john h on 9/17/01 at 10:18 (060699)

we need to all get by the politics! julie has helped numerous people on the board with their pain. after all that is really what we are all about. there is no one on the board that i have nothing but the highest regard for, regardless of their politics. (except anon and he really does not exist and is just the invention of someone)!

Re: rally 'round the flagpole..........

Donna M on 9/15/01 at 15:49 (060480)

That is strange and actually ridiculous!! You can't get much more Christian than Amazing Grace!!
Hope you are doing well Judy. You know it is really amazing the things that happen in our lives that seem to help us cope with others. Meaning, I know you are dreadfully missing your son, but with all that has happened it takes your pain and attention from one place and directs it to another. (You know what I mean, not that you are not missing him as much, but there is more to think about!)
This is minor compared to your son being 'across the water' and the tragedy at the WTC, but kind of a comparison!
When my oldest daughter told us she was getting married, I had a heck of a time dealing with it. Even though she, and my now son-in-law, had been dating 6 years and she was almost 23 years old! I could not discuss the wedding without crying. I mean I was a wreck! I wanted her to get married someday, but no time soon! This meant I was losing one of my babies, in my eyes!!
As the wedding got closer, she made me promise I would not cry. She said it was her special day and was supposed to be happy and that if I cried she would cry and she didn't want to on her wedding day. So naturally I promised. From then on I started praying, asking God to help me not to put a shadow on her day by crying. To help me to be strong and keep my tears to myself.
Well......two days before her wedding we had an ice storm and temps were in the single digits!! To make a long story short, there was no electricity in almost our whole area. My daughter said, 'the show must go on'!! We pulled off a formal wedding, using only candles as light, no heat, the punch for the reception froze as we put it into cups, we had used kerosene heaters to thaw it in the first place! Everyone there, but the wedding parties had on thermal underwear, coveralls, gloves, etc.!! Like I said the temp was low, like about 8 degrees!! Oh, we didn't even get to have rehearsal! They had TV, radio and newspaper coverage. Word of this wedding spread!! We had a local radio station using generators and on my battery operated radio, I learned both my daughters were in a ditch on the way to one of the few peoples houses in the whole area that had power and water where they were going to let them shower and fix their hair before the wedding!!
My prayers were answered, not anyway like I expected, but I didn't cry at her wedding! To much going on and if I had I would have really been a sight with frozen teardrops hanging on my eyes!!
Anyway, things will be fine with him, although I know you miss him terribly!! Just have to make sure you take care and don't let yourself get to low worrying about him.
Take care,
Donna

Re: rally 'round the flagpole..........

JudyS on 9/15/01 at 16:38 (060486)

Good Heavens, Donna, what a story! You sure had to put your best Mom self forward for that experience! And just think what your daughters learned from it!
And thank you so very much for your kind words about my son. He has phoned and emailed regularly this week as his 'group' goes through the same trauma we all have. In spite of it though, the directors are keeping them busy on tour and he is loving every minute of it.

There is, however, really only ONE reason why my heart is no longer fearful about my son....that reason is in the form of our Julie who is in touch with Chris and offering support. I trust her judgement and I trust her ability to give my son solace should he need it - and I'm eternally grateful to her and her Klaus for tolerating my knee-jerk - like Mom reaction to this week's tragedy.

Re: rally 'round the flagpole..........

Donna M on 9/15/01 at 23:11 (060519)

Yes, you (and he) are fortunate indeed to have her over there for him!
I haven't been on here that long at all, but what I've read about Julie and from Julie, she seems like quite a person!!!

Re: you're right, donna . . .

nancy s. on 9/16/01 at 00:26 (060529)

. . . julie _is_ quite a person! a real human being, and about as giving as one can get.

and hey there, judy, i'm missin' ya.

Re: you're right, donna . . .

JudyS on 9/16/01 at 00:38 (060531)

Hey Nan - why are you up so late?

Re: you're right, donna . . .

nancy s. on 9/16/01 at 01:14 (060539)

hey jude, search me! why am i up so late . . . it's been an excruciatingly painful week, i had a nap on the couch today, and i can't leave the room because my lovely mac keeps calling, calling, calling. nice to see you! more soon.
p.s. say, wasn't 'why are you up so late' one of the first things you ever said to me? it's comforting somehow -- thanks!

Re: you're right, donna . . .

john h on 9/17/01 at 10:18 (060699)

we need to all get by the politics! julie has helped numerous people on the board with their pain. after all that is really what we are all about. there is no one on the board that i have nothing but the highest regard for, regardless of their politics. (except anon and he really does not exist and is just the invention of someone)!