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carmen ---- bi-polar ; properply diagnose by psych doc 1996

Posted by linda A on 10/04/01 at 22:20 (062269)

hello carmen ! i don't hide the fact that i have a bipolar disorder . nothing to be ashamed of . okay --- the truth feel guity all the time . right now i am fighting the mighty blues . i am a rapid cycler , meaning i have more than 1-2 bouts of mania and depression throughout the year . i been cycling every 4-5 wks mania then 3 wks depression for this past year . every year is different . since the sexual attack in august , the cycling has changed to being more frequent ( 3-5 day mania to 3-4 depression ) . my depression can take me down real fast into suicidal depression . the only thing that was saving me in the past before the P.F. was the exercising ( endorphins ----- keep you happy ) . i was a compulsive exerciser . many different forms of mania ( compulsive exerciser , binge spenders , eaters , drinkers, gamblers , sex , impulsive decision makers , reckless drivers , agitation , nonsleep---alot of ENERGY , giving away of money like you have no worry ) . my little sis big time binge spender . since the P.F. has taken away my ability to exercise , i release that energy in the from of spending , eating ( some times can not stop )and the same goes w/ drinking ( how i end up in the hospital ---- and not by my usual suicide attempts ) , that's why i should not drink . often give away money like i have money grow off trees ( not true ) . can not sleep for days and if i do sleep it is for 2-3 hrs /day . lots of ENERGY , can not understand why co-workers and people around me can not work as fast as i want them . i have to control my agitation . hope you got a better understanding of the bi-polar illness . how are you doing w/ your cat and the shots ?

Re: Linda....

Carmen H on 10/05/01 at 07:32 (062276)

I actually had a friend who's brother had it so I know a little.....I am curious as to what you do for a living? How do you control things at work and are you on medicine? Are you in counseling for dealing with the sexual attack?
I am sorry you have sooo many things to deal with. Life is tough but aren't we lucky to be here? That's what I try and tell myself every morrning when I wake up in pain and go all day with it....
Does it help to talk to someone? do you take people's words into consideration or just try to get by? I know some people are content to live feeling the way they do...and it's not a bad thing! But there are some willing to do ANYthing to get a better quality of life.
So I am just curious......Mom says I try to fix the world...really I just want to be there where I can.
Zoe is doing good. Boy my timing was WAY off yesterday I was two seconds late for the urine test and the food shot! I followed her around trying to get a urine sample (NOT an easy task from a cat) and what a pain!
anyway.....have a good day Linda.....thanks for asking about Zo Zo!

Re: carmen ---- bi-polar ; properply diagnose by psych doc 1996

john h on 10/05/01 at 12:37 (062304)

linda: i was watching a short medical clip this week on depression and bi-polar. they were discussing how exercise such as the runners high can be one of the more effective treatments. they have produced a chemical in the lab that is produced during extreme exercise. They are trying to or have produced this in the form of a pill and studies are indicating that it may be an effective treatment. Where in the FDA process this study is i did not catch. I may have saw it on the Today Show. If it was there, the info would still be available on the medical section of their website.

Re: oh , how i miss the runner's high

linda A on 10/06/01 at 02:02 (062358)

i use to take small breaks in the stairway ( running up 8 flights --- not a big hospital x 6 ) give a rush for a little while , then i would have to wait for another break time . that was when i was in good shape 4 yrs ago . now quite out of shape 200 lbs . thanks john about the info .

Re: i like people who try to fix this crazy world

linda A on 10/06/01 at 02:42 (062359)

we need good people like you and the rest of our p.f. friends . i work in a hospital ( anesthesia technician ) . my mood changed on fri --- mania . more energy and the agitation is back . yes , i can control my mouth to some degree at work . a nuse friend went w/ me to my first counseling session ( she is good friend's w/ her ) . she didn't know i had the disease as bi-polar , because i didn't show too many of the signs at work . my focus is work and not allowing myself to loose that control . worked 12 hrs on friday . great day to be alive . felt sorry for the lady killed by the train ( even though i had those thoughts in the past few days ) . i had been to counseling or seen a psych doc since 1998 , that is because when our hospital decided to change health benefits around guess what part got short change . seeing a psych doc is $ 20 compared to internist $ 10 . for the same amount of time . counselor is another $ 20 and the added cost of all the psych meds . i was taking 5 diff psych meds for B.P. , then i told my internist that i needed only anti-depressant and that i had control of the mania way before the p.f. so now i am on 2 drugs one to control mania and other for depression , still not under control ( 2 months for psych doc ---- good friends w/ internist ).he used to be neurologist before going into psych . about the sexual attack , i blame myself because it was during one of my mania phases ( no rape ) , he was a window sales rep giving me a estimate . this was not his first time for being in trouble . i know he was a football coach and teacher about 20 yrs and had a charge that was dropped . the biggest problem for me was that he could be still substituting as teacher ( window co . told me ).
i haven't filed charges yet because i have up to a year (misdemeanor- slap on wrist --- or counseling ) . i also suffer from ptsd before this attack . so, i have several issues other than B.P. going on . i will not ask how you take a urine sample from a cat . i am 36 yrs old . i read the new p.f. suffer on the support board ----from out west . welcome aboard .

Re: Linda....

Carmen H on 10/05/01 at 07:32 (062276)

I actually had a friend who's brother had it so I know a little.....I am curious as to what you do for a living? How do you control things at work and are you on medicine? Are you in counseling for dealing with the sexual attack?
I am sorry you have sooo many things to deal with. Life is tough but aren't we lucky to be here? That's what I try and tell myself every morrning when I wake up in pain and go all day with it....
Does it help to talk to someone? do you take people's words into consideration or just try to get by? I know some people are content to live feeling the way they do...and it's not a bad thing! But there are some willing to do ANYthing to get a better quality of life.
So I am just curious......Mom says I try to fix the world...really I just want to be there where I can.
Zoe is doing good. Boy my timing was WAY off yesterday I was two seconds late for the urine test and the food shot! I followed her around trying to get a urine sample (NOT an easy task from a cat) and what a pain!
anyway.....have a good day Linda.....thanks for asking about Zo Zo!

Re: carmen ---- bi-polar ; properply diagnose by psych doc 1996

john h on 10/05/01 at 12:37 (062304)

linda: i was watching a short medical clip this week on depression and bi-polar. they were discussing how exercise such as the runners high can be one of the more effective treatments. they have produced a chemical in the lab that is produced during extreme exercise. They are trying to or have produced this in the form of a pill and studies are indicating that it may be an effective treatment. Where in the FDA process this study is i did not catch. I may have saw it on the Today Show. If it was there, the info would still be available on the medical section of their website.

Re: oh , how i miss the runner's high

linda A on 10/06/01 at 02:02 (062358)

i use to take small breaks in the stairway ( running up 8 flights --- not a big hospital x 6 ) give a rush for a little while , then i would have to wait for another break time . that was when i was in good shape 4 yrs ago . now quite out of shape 200 lbs . thanks john about the info .

Re: i like people who try to fix this crazy world

linda A on 10/06/01 at 02:42 (062359)

we need good people like you and the rest of our p.f. friends . i work in a hospital ( anesthesia technician ) . my mood changed on fri --- mania . more energy and the agitation is back . yes , i can control my mouth to some degree at work . a nuse friend went w/ me to my first counseling session ( she is good friend's w/ her ) . she didn't know i had the disease as bi-polar , because i didn't show too many of the signs at work . my focus is work and not allowing myself to loose that control . worked 12 hrs on friday . great day to be alive . felt sorry for the lady killed by the train ( even though i had those thoughts in the past few days ) . i had been to counseling or seen a psych doc since 1998 , that is because when our hospital decided to change health benefits around guess what part got short change . seeing a psych doc is $ 20 compared to internist $ 10 . for the same amount of time . counselor is another $ 20 and the added cost of all the psych meds . i was taking 5 diff psych meds for B.P. , then i told my internist that i needed only anti-depressant and that i had control of the mania way before the p.f. so now i am on 2 drugs one to control mania and other for depression , still not under control ( 2 months for psych doc ---- good friends w/ internist ).he used to be neurologist before going into psych . about the sexual attack , i blame myself because it was during one of my mania phases ( no rape ) , he was a window sales rep giving me a estimate . this was not his first time for being in trouble . i know he was a football coach and teacher about 20 yrs and had a charge that was dropped . the biggest problem for me was that he could be still substituting as teacher ( window co . told me ).
i haven't filed charges yet because i have up to a year (misdemeanor- slap on wrist --- or counseling ) . i also suffer from ptsd before this attack . so, i have several issues other than B.P. going on . i will not ask how you take a urine sample from a cat . i am 36 yrs old . i read the new p.f. suffer on the support board ----from out west . welcome aboard .