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How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

Posted by Jane S on 11/09/01 at 22:20 (064575)

prevent you from getting this rest.....for example I'm a stay at home mom....my daughter is 4 but is home all day with me.....so you get that picture....my son is 8 and I volunteer alot at his school which I 'm learning to say No too.....On Halloween, I took the kids trick or treating....BIG MISTAKE!!! but who else was going to? Can't take away their halloween. :( So mom suffered. It's just soo hard sometimes to find the time and opportunity to rest....just wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation.

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

Steve P on 11/10/01 at 18:39 (064635)

Hi Jane. I wish there were an easy answer. Unfortunately, 'rest' is what you can manage & this of course depends on your responsibilities.

I try to do small things to spare my feet whenever I can. I keep a lawn chair in my shower stall which I use all the time. I try to always avoid walking barefoot. I have a temporary handicap parking pass which I've found to be very helpful. I use the Drive-Thru for fast food, banking, etc.

I know it's a lot different when you have small kids. But hang in there & keep trying to think of small ways to rest your feet throughout the day. For example, try to fix dinner sitting at the table rather than standing at the counter. I know.....easier said than done!

Good luck...........Steve

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

Kathy G on 11/10/01 at 19:34 (064644)

Jane,

It must be so hard having this condition and trying to care for a young family. You have my sympathy and understanding. All of Steve's suggestions were good ones. After a while, you just change the way you do things. Things you would ordinarily do standing up, like cutting up veggies for supper or mixing something, you should now do while sitting down. Although, I just can't iron while I'm sitting down, so I do it in bits and pieces.

One of the most important things that Steve mentioned is the temporary handicapped sticker. It may save only a few steps, but every step saved is worthwhile. I strongly recommend it. I fought the idea for over a year because I thought that more seriously handicapped people than I needed the spaces. But I got mine six months ago and am getting it renewed in a couple of weeks. There are days I don't even use it, but when I need to, it's great to have it.

Good luck - recovery is slow but it will come. And don't hesitate to tell your kids that Mum has sore feet today and has to take it easy. They won't be scarred for life and you won't be considered a bad mother!!

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

Steve Kathy on 11/11/01 at 08:18 (064656)

Thanks for your reply. I'm going to look into a handicap sticker this week. As a matter of fact I'm calling my doc 1st thing tommorow morning....with the holidays coming up...the parking lots are zoos....And I litterally have been driving around at least 5 minutes to find a decent close enough spot. Kathy....I'm in tears when I tell the kids I have sore feet.....they understand but my husband doesn't and that is why I'm in tears......I don't mean to make him sound bad.....but it would be nice to have him 'offer' to do something when he sees me limping....I have so much as let things go for a couple of days but all that seems to do is make him mad-not help so after a couple of days of rest then I'm on my feet a whole day trying to get things in order and then I'm back at square one again. Sometimes I think the only thing to do is have this surgery. And yet HE is the one so set against the surgery. He tells me what if I can't walk again....I tell him I can't walk now.... His mom has made numerous offers every day to help me but she's not the one who should be helping me and I would feel guilty. His dad surfs the net on a daily basis trying to help me and come up with ideas....they are both so sweet.

Re: Not By SteveKaty.....By Jane

Jane on 11/11/01 at 08:20 (064657)

Subject of Post meant to say TO STEVE AND KATHY....sorry New message board for me...LOL

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

JudyS on 11/11/01 at 10:33 (064666)

Jane, I think I was at quite the advantage with my PF because my husband had it a year or so before I did so he could easily be emphathetic. He had the surgery a year in to his suffering and came out of it 100%..
On this message board we've heard situations like yours before and some here have suggested that one ask one's hubby to look at this website several time.......even post, if he wants. PF is an 'invisible' condition so it's easy for LOTS of people to simply not understand the full scope of your suffering!
We've all pretty much found that we got the most understanding from family and friends when we (finally) would let our Docs put a cast on the affected foot. The cast theoretically keeps you off your foot for a good six weeks and serves a double purpose in being a real, visual, reminder that YOU CAN'T WALK so people are suddenly very willing to help!
However, not everyone gets relief from a cast.....just atrophy! I remember using my crutches, even after the cast, not just to keep the weight off my PF, but also to continue to remind others that I just couldn't walk!
If your husband is serious about the possible permanent harm from surgery (and that's a well-founded concern), then perhaps he'd be willing to learn more about what you'll have to go through in the long run to reach relief without surgery. You'll need his help, no question.
I've had PF for three years and made the huge mistake of ignoring it for the first year or so and letting it get worse and worse. It's been this whole last year of concentrated, conservative treatment, culminating in two ESWT treatments, that I've finally found some very good relief.
Remember that if you do have surgery, it will take perhaps six months to a year to recover completely.

Re: Not By SteveKaty.....By Jane

Steve P on 11/11/01 at 10:37 (064668)

Jane -- 2 suggestions:

1. Ask your husband to read the 'heel pain book' on this website (click above). It would be 15-20 minutes well spent.

2. Call your DMV & ask them to mail you the temporary handicap pass application. They should send it to you by mail. You can then fill it out & get your doc to sign & send it back.

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

Laurie R on 11/11/01 at 11:10 (064669)

Dear Jane , I second what Judy says and agree 100% . Sometimes well most times it is hard for our hubby's / wife's to understand , they can't feel our pain . Then if we continue to do the things we always do then they think we must not be in that much pain. I am one of thoes people that still do to much . I like my house clean and I do have children that still need mom. I will say that most times it is my own fault when I don't get off my foot due to pain. I am learning to say no and to get off my foot. My pain now is terrible and 24/7 .

If your hubby is willing please have him read some of our stories and the pain book. Their is so much info ...

My best to you ,Laurie R

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

Rebecca H. on 11/24/01 at 19:42 (065161)

I have 5 children. Age 15 (overseas but will soon come home) 11, 9, 6 and 2. The two year old is the hardest to care for. We camp out in various rooms and I let him watch alot of videos. I know its not ideal but better than letting him play in the yard. I couldn't keep him safe out there.
I also read him lots of little books and play with him on the bed. The house is strewn with toys. I've had to lower my standards. But in the long run I think it will be better this way because then maybe I can heal and be back to being a 'regular Mom'. I'm trying to focus on the stuff I CAN do. Would love to hear any solutions, ideas you come up with.

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

Suzanne D on 11/24/01 at 20:49 (065164)

Hi, Rebecca! I would like to say as a first grade teacher that I think your are doing some very good things with your two year old! Reading lots of little books and playing with him are the two best things you can be doing, regardless of how cluttered the house gets with your feet hurting! Of course as the mother of 5, I am sure you do not need me to tell you this. :-)

I have had PF for 6 months now, and there is not much more information I can add to what you have already received. I will just echo the fact that healing is a slow process, but I am thankful to say that I am better than I was 6 months ago. I still have pain every day, but it is not as severe, and I can get around better - not very fast, but better! I would just like to add that sometimes when you think you are getting better, you may have some set-backs; I have, and from what I read, I am not alone. Keep up everything that helps, and you will find your way back to improving again. (It's kind of the 'take two steps forward and one backward' type thing sometimes.) Staying in touch with others at this site is one of the most helpful things you can do!

I am one who has had relief by wearing Birkenstocks. Briefly, the cork footbed gradually molds to your foot, which helps, as well as the way the heel 'cups' around your heel, keeping it stable. They seem to help correct my walking (I always tended to walk on the outside of my feet) and support my arches. You really can't tell that from a picture of the sandals, and I DO understand about buying shoes and then not being able to wear them! Every Birkenstock is not made the same, so keep that in mind, too. If you have a chance to try a pair of Arizonas on, you can get an idea of how they feel and if they will help you.

Good luck to you! I hope you find relief soon!

S

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

Steve P on 11/10/01 at 18:39 (064635)

Hi Jane. I wish there were an easy answer. Unfortunately, 'rest' is what you can manage & this of course depends on your responsibilities.

I try to do small things to spare my feet whenever I can. I keep a lawn chair in my shower stall which I use all the time. I try to always avoid walking barefoot. I have a temporary handicap parking pass which I've found to be very helpful. I use the Drive-Thru for fast food, banking, etc.

I know it's a lot different when you have small kids. But hang in there & keep trying to think of small ways to rest your feet throughout the day. For example, try to fix dinner sitting at the table rather than standing at the counter. I know.....easier said than done!

Good luck...........Steve

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

Kathy G on 11/10/01 at 19:34 (064644)

Jane,

It must be so hard having this condition and trying to care for a young family. You have my sympathy and understanding. All of Steve's suggestions were good ones. After a while, you just change the way you do things. Things you would ordinarily do standing up, like cutting up veggies for supper or mixing something, you should now do while sitting down. Although, I just can't iron while I'm sitting down, so I do it in bits and pieces.

One of the most important things that Steve mentioned is the temporary handicapped sticker. It may save only a few steps, but every step saved is worthwhile. I strongly recommend it. I fought the idea for over a year because I thought that more seriously handicapped people than I needed the spaces. But I got mine six months ago and am getting it renewed in a couple of weeks. There are days I don't even use it, but when I need to, it's great to have it.

Good luck - recovery is slow but it will come. And don't hesitate to tell your kids that Mum has sore feet today and has to take it easy. They won't be scarred for life and you won't be considered a bad mother!!

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

Steve Kathy on 11/11/01 at 08:18 (064656)

Thanks for your reply. I'm going to look into a handicap sticker this week. As a matter of fact I'm calling my doc 1st thing tommorow morning....with the holidays coming up...the parking lots are zoos....And I litterally have been driving around at least 5 minutes to find a decent close enough spot. Kathy....I'm in tears when I tell the kids I have sore feet.....they understand but my husband doesn't and that is why I'm in tears......I don't mean to make him sound bad.....but it would be nice to have him 'offer' to do something when he sees me limping....I have so much as let things go for a couple of days but all that seems to do is make him mad-not help so after a couple of days of rest then I'm on my feet a whole day trying to get things in order and then I'm back at square one again. Sometimes I think the only thing to do is have this surgery. And yet HE is the one so set against the surgery. He tells me what if I can't walk again....I tell him I can't walk now.... His mom has made numerous offers every day to help me but she's not the one who should be helping me and I would feel guilty. His dad surfs the net on a daily basis trying to help me and come up with ideas....they are both so sweet.

Re: Not By SteveKaty.....By Jane

Jane on 11/11/01 at 08:20 (064657)

Subject of Post meant to say TO STEVE AND KATHY....sorry New message board for me...LOL

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

JudyS on 11/11/01 at 10:33 (064666)

Jane, I think I was at quite the advantage with my PF because my husband had it a year or so before I did so he could easily be emphathetic. He had the surgery a year in to his suffering and came out of it 100%..
On this message board we've heard situations like yours before and some here have suggested that one ask one's hubby to look at this website several time.......even post, if he wants. PF is an 'invisible' condition so it's easy for LOTS of people to simply not understand the full scope of your suffering!
We've all pretty much found that we got the most understanding from family and friends when we (finally) would let our Docs put a cast on the affected foot. The cast theoretically keeps you off your foot for a good six weeks and serves a double purpose in being a real, visual, reminder that YOU CAN'T WALK so people are suddenly very willing to help!
However, not everyone gets relief from a cast.....just atrophy! I remember using my crutches, even after the cast, not just to keep the weight off my PF, but also to continue to remind others that I just couldn't walk!
If your husband is serious about the possible permanent harm from surgery (and that's a well-founded concern), then perhaps he'd be willing to learn more about what you'll have to go through in the long run to reach relief without surgery. You'll need his help, no question.
I've had PF for three years and made the huge mistake of ignoring it for the first year or so and letting it get worse and worse. It's been this whole last year of concentrated, conservative treatment, culminating in two ESWT treatments, that I've finally found some very good relief.
Remember that if you do have surgery, it will take perhaps six months to a year to recover completely.

Re: Not By SteveKaty.....By Jane

Steve P on 11/11/01 at 10:37 (064668)

Jane -- 2 suggestions:

1. Ask your husband to read the 'heel pain book' on this website (click above). It would be 15-20 minutes well spent.

2. Call your DMV & ask them to mail you the temporary handicap pass application. They should send it to you by mail. You can then fill it out & get your doc to sign & send it back.

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

Laurie R on 11/11/01 at 11:10 (064669)

Dear Jane , I second what Judy says and agree 100% . Sometimes well most times it is hard for our hubby's / wife's to understand , they can't feel our pain . Then if we continue to do the things we always do then they think we must not be in that much pain. I am one of thoes people that still do to much . I like my house clean and I do have children that still need mom. I will say that most times it is my own fault when I don't get off my foot due to pain. I am learning to say no and to get off my foot. My pain now is terrible and 24/7 .

If your hubby is willing please have him read some of our stories and the pain book. Their is so much info ...

My best to you ,Laurie R

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

Rebecca H. on 11/24/01 at 19:42 (065161)

I have 5 children. Age 15 (overseas but will soon come home) 11, 9, 6 and 2. The two year old is the hardest to care for. We camp out in various rooms and I let him watch alot of videos. I know its not ideal but better than letting him play in the yard. I couldn't keep him safe out there.
I also read him lots of little books and play with him on the bed. The house is strewn with toys. I've had to lower my standards. But in the long run I think it will be better this way because then maybe I can heal and be back to being a 'regular Mom'. I'm trying to focus on the stuff I CAN do. Would love to hear any solutions, ideas you come up with.

Re: How much 'rest' do you really get....and what do you do for a living that obvious would

Suzanne D on 11/24/01 at 20:49 (065164)

Hi, Rebecca! I would like to say as a first grade teacher that I think your are doing some very good things with your two year old! Reading lots of little books and playing with him are the two best things you can be doing, regardless of how cluttered the house gets with your feet hurting! Of course as the mother of 5, I am sure you do not need me to tell you this. :-)

I have had PF for 6 months now, and there is not much more information I can add to what you have already received. I will just echo the fact that healing is a slow process, but I am thankful to say that I am better than I was 6 months ago. I still have pain every day, but it is not as severe, and I can get around better - not very fast, but better! I would just like to add that sometimes when you think you are getting better, you may have some set-backs; I have, and from what I read, I am not alone. Keep up everything that helps, and you will find your way back to improving again. (It's kind of the 'take two steps forward and one backward' type thing sometimes.) Staying in touch with others at this site is one of the most helpful things you can do!

I am one who has had relief by wearing Birkenstocks. Briefly, the cork footbed gradually molds to your foot, which helps, as well as the way the heel 'cups' around your heel, keeping it stable. They seem to help correct my walking (I always tended to walk on the outside of my feet) and support my arches. You really can't tell that from a picture of the sandals, and I DO understand about buying shoes and then not being able to wear them! Every Birkenstock is not made the same, so keep that in mind, too. If you have a chance to try a pair of Arizonas on, you can get an idea of how they feel and if they will help you.

Good luck to you! I hope you find relief soon!

S