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roller coaster !!

Posted by Carole C on 12/12/01 at 16:57 (066845)

Have you ever noticed that having heelspurs or PF is like riding a roller coaster? One minute you are miserable from the pain, in tears, crabby, and feet hurt hurt hurt. In a few days, you've tried something new and you feel like THIS time you have found 'the answer' to your PF!

Today I wore my new SAS shoes with the new orthotics that were made for me on Monday (photo at http://members.home.net/louisel19/shoes.html ). My feet are healing. I can just feel it! I do not feel as 'tight', and my heels do not even hurt much and feel almost normal, if I am reasonably careful. What does it feel like to not hurt? My feet actually feel deliciously good, due to the absence of the pain to which I was becoming accustomed. Happy happy joy joy! LOL

I have done exactly the same things today that I did every day last week at my (mostly desk) job, and although this isn't much, I am astonished at how much better I feel. I'm home now.

I've posted a wildly optimistic post like this previously, when I was breaking in my Birkenstocks. It didn't last. PF is such a roller coaster!

I am beginning to accept that getting over PF is not something that happens overnight. I also know from experience that I need to be ridiculously cautious not to overdo. If I do what my 'common sense' tells me is fine, like going shopping briefly this afternoon when my feet feel almost normal, that's unfortunately too much.

Maybe this time the feeling that I am healing will remain. I am going to try very hard not to do anything stupid.

Carole C

Re: roller coaster !!

Sherrie M. on 12/12/01 at 17:47 (066849)

Yes Carole you are right, it is a roller coaster ride.Some days are better than others, we just have to try not to over do it. Isn't that just a pain in the neck though, I am so jealous of all of my friends going out and doing their Christmas shopping and all I can do is sit at this computer and order on the net. I really miss shopping! I'll get over it though.Hope you continue to feel well. Sherrie

Re: roller coaster !!

Carole C on 12/12/01 at 18:20 (066852)

Thanks, Sherrie. How are you doing tonight? Didn't you just have the ART treatment recently? I skipped most of those threads but I hope that you will feel better soon, too.

I miss shopping a lot. I live alone and I didn't even get a Christmas tree this year because of my stupid feet. I have no decorations, because my ex got them when we divorced. Only this year did I feel financially recovered enough to buy any, and now I can't walk well enough to get them! How maddening. I'm going to look at trees and decorations online, and dream about what my Christmas tree and decorations will be like next year. I'm shopping on the net for presents, too.

Luckily I was able to get my new pet fish, Bert and Ernie, when the rollercoaster of PF was letting me feel good. They are still alive and swimming around so happily in their aquarium in the living room. We are getting used to each other, and I try to be careful not to scare them. It's nice to have company!

Carole

Re: roller coaster !!

nancy s. on 12/12/01 at 18:29 (066853)

carole, you let your ex have custody of your christmas decorations when you divorced?!? i hope you got a house or something else equivalent instead.
i loved the pics of you and your shoe. you look like a lovely lady; and for me and shoes, the clunkier the better, so i liked them too!
so many people go through a big adjustment over having to wear clunky shoes after PF arrives. i was lucky that i already was wearing clunky shoes when PF hit, and enjoying them too. that was about the one thing in life i *didn't* have to adjust.
nancy

Re: roller coaster !!

Carole C on 12/12/01 at 18:47 (066854)

No, I didn't get the house, or the bank account or his retirement from the 23 years we were married, or the furniture... all I got was debt! The divorce was my idea, and he was getting to be an abusive drunk, and I just wanted him out of my life so I agreed to anything that would speed things up. I got an uncontested divorce, which in Louisiana only took me about six weeks because we had been separated previously.

I'm *much* happier now. The first couple of years after my divorce, I lived a very spartan life..... slept on the floor because he had the bed, lived on almost nothing. But I saved nearly every penny I made, and by living so frugally for two years I managed to get out of debt and to save a nest egg for emergencies. Now I am able to afford more and I do not worry about that. I am just working on building up some retirement of my own, since I'm 53 already.

Thank you for the nice comments about me and my clunky shoes! I only *thought* I was wearing clunky shoes when PF hit. These are a whole new level of clunky, to me! They look very large because they are thick and strong and well padded.

Carole C

Re: Remarks about "Clunky" shoes

Necee on 12/12/01 at 22:14 (066865)

Hi Carole,
Well first of all let me congratulate you on getting rid of that abusive drunk and secondly on surviving after a divorce that left you with nothing. To have a rough time like you did and then be able to pull yourself up out of debt is a testament to your strong will.
Now about those 'clunky' shoes........
I bought my first pair of Birks in July and have been the topic of much laughter and ridicule ever since! I call them my 'Gumby' shoes, maybe you remember the cartoon Gumby. These are the ugliest shoes I have ever seen, they are big and boxy, but I could care less. I'm not in it for the fashion, thats for sure. I want comfort and thats exactly what I get from wearing them.
I did go buy another pair that do look a little more fashionable though.
You'd think they would make shoes that look half way decent for people with PF.
Happy Trails.......
Necee

Re: roller coaster !!

Barbara TX on 12/13/01 at 14:09 (066892)

I would say that PF for me is like a subway. B.

Re: Remarks about "Clunky" shoes

Suzanne D on 12/13/01 at 14:17 (066893)

I agree with Necee, Carole: you have shown a great deal of 'spunk' and should be congratulated for what you have accomplished in the past few years! I am sure this same determination will stand you in good stead as you battle PF and seek out ways to help yourself.

Keep up the good work! :-)

Re: Remarks about "Clunky" shoes

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 16:13 (066900)

Thanks, Necee and Suzanne. I appreciate the encouragement. You've made a difference in somebody's life today, mine. It really touches me to read what you have said.

It's hard to know what to say. Thank you. And, I hope you are right about my determination helping me to battle with PF.

Carole C

Re: roller coaster !!

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 16:14 (066901)

Sorry to hear that!!! I wish I could lower a rope ladder to you.

Carole C

Re: roller coaster !!

JudyS on 12/13/01 at 17:38 (066907)

subway?
'splain yourself girl....

Re: A Ride on the Subway

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 21:36 (066914)

Barbara, I think maybe I know what you mean. I've noticed a couple of posts where people were thinking of a possible link between PF and depression, and a lot of us do seem to feel discouraged and down.

I would bet that if a thousand random, healthy people were suddenly put in constant pain, told they are supposed to stay off their feet and not do what they want to do, and that they have to wear stupid clunky shoes and can't even take a shower barefoot, and all this continued during the holiday season and might not be over for months if ever, that every one of those thousand random people would feel depressed and discouraged.

It's just the possibility that all this might end sometime, that gives me the occasional 'ups' on my rollercoaster, when otherwise I would be down in the subway.

You know what? I've not seen it mentioned before, but I think that PF is very TIRING. All that tightness is just physically exhausting, and the situation is mentally tiring at well. It's easy to feel kind of exhausted and depressed on some days, even if one's feet are improving.

Carole C

Re: roller coaster !!

Barbara TX on 12/13/01 at 21:52 (066915)

Okay, its like this. You go down into the dark and you just stay there. People keep telling you that your stop is coming, but they don't know when. You just keep going with no light in sight, and your rear is aching from sitting on the hard lumpy seats. You beging to atrophy and cobwebs grow in your hair. I am the baglady of the PF subway, and I smell like Jade Balm, so know one will sit near me.

Am I depressing anyone? Please stop this train from hell. I want to get off NOW. B.

Re: A Ride on the Subway

Barbara TX on 12/13/01 at 22:03 (066917)

Carol - you are right on the money (as usual). It is a mentally exhausting thing as well. I think that I am past the depression part of it, although for awhile it was very, very bad and required medication. Now, it is simply tiring and I worry about my kids and husband a lot. Caring for a home and little kids with no feet is tiring! B.

Re: A Ride on the Subway

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 22:32 (066919)

It's exhausting! You are so admirable to have gotten past the depression part. I don't know how anyone can manage with PF and kids.

I'm still bouncing in and out of the depression part. I have been hanging onto the belief that this can't last forever, hanging on like a starving piranha. LOL Besides, the holidays will be over soon so maybe that will help.

You would not believe what I just did about one minute ago. I was lying in bed, playing games on my iPAQ pocket PC, when the battery ran down to about nothing (as it is prone to do now and then if not recharged). Like a total moron, I jumped up out of bed and ran the ten feet to my desk BAREFOOT to plug it into the charger so I would not lose my data. So here I sit, barefoot, ten *very* long feet from the bed and my shoes, and contemplating crawling back. (grin)

Take care, Barbara!! It's got to turn around eventually (if you don't go on impulsive barefoot jaunts like I just did, and keep on being careful instead).

Carole C

Re: roller coaster !!

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 22:38 (066920)

Beverly, did I just see a sign that said, 'Next Stop: Flowers, Sunshine, and Fresh Air!' ? Maybe things will be looking up soon.

Unless.... well, unless those darn signs are wrong again!

Hang in there, subway riders!

Carole C

Re: oops

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 22:39 (066921)

Sorry! I meant Barbara, not Beverly. Unless Beverly's on the PF subway too!

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

rebecca h on 12/13/01 at 23:09 (066924)

Hi Carole and Barbara,

I hope I don't offend anyone by this message but I wanted to share something that has encouraged me the last few days. My all-time hero from history is the man whose birth we are celebrating December 25. You know...Jesus. Anyway, the other day as I was lowering myself step by wooden step (sitting on my rear and using my arms for support)down into the basement. I was thinking about why my prayers haven't been answered yet and being depressed and then I remembered that one of the last things Jesus did before his death was to get a towel and some cold water (at least I suppose it was cold) and wash the tired, dirty aching feet of his the 12 main guys on his team. Okay, I know this might seem weird but I thought, hey if he did that, he cares about my feet too. And at least he did answer ONE of my prayers and that was to find you guys. I know the people on this board have all kinds of different backgrounds and beliefs but I have felt so much love here and it has really helped me face this thing without being totally overwhelmed with depression.

I used that 'be Mommy's hands' thing today with my kids. They are all helping out more and will be quite good at all kinds of household chores. Even the 2-year-old is doing stuff like taking the silverware from the dishwasher to the drawer. He doesn't get them in the right slots but hey, at least they're in the drawer, right? And he is SO PROUD of himself : )

Hang in there everybody! I know we can help each other through all this.

rebecca

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 23:47 (066928)

What a nice post! I am not religious but I am so glad that one of your prayers was answered by finding this message board. You have helped lots of people here too, you know! And your two year old sounds like such a sweetie pie, and you are building great memories and teaching your son to be generous and self reliant (to the extent that he can be), and proud of what he can do.

I think I am going to call in sick tomorrow. My feet aren't any worse, just aggravating and tight, but I'm exhausted and fed up with things at work (which is why I can't sleep). After the weekend it will seem better. I love my job! I just don't love it today.

Carole C

Re: roller coaster !!

john h on 12/14/01 at 09:10 (066938)

Barb: If you smell like jade balm then you 'are the woman' because I think Jade smells great. If you do not get depressed after years of PF and a complete change of life style then there is something very wrong with you. Hope is the great motivator and your rock in the battle with PF. Hope is one the important things you can take away from the board.

Re: roller coaster !!

Carole C on 12/14/01 at 09:21 (066942)

John, you are so right about depression, and about hope. We have to hang on to that hope as much as we possibly can. Well said!

Carole C

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

Carole C on 12/14/01 at 12:33 (066955)

What is this Jade Balm anyway? I read the survey on this site, and I realize it's some kind of salve that smells like Lemon Pledge and you put it on your foot, and it works for some people but not others.

Can you buy it in normal stores, or where? What is it supposed to do?

Carole C

Re: May I sit for a while till we find a stop,

Tammie on 12/14/01 at 19:24 (066995)

I can relate to this feeling totaly!Like heh mister when will it be my stop! You have described it perfectly! I am sorry that your stop has not come yet , maybe soon it will and if u do not mind I would like to ride with u so that u are not alone I am sorry you are in so much pain and the bus keeps going and going! It will have to run out of gas sooner or later, and I would like for u to not be left all alone so can i sit for a bit to? I will sit in the back and wave out the window at all our frinds as we let them off for there stop and hope that soon the bus will be empty and noone will remain noone! And the bonus will be seeing all the wonderful caring people find there stops and to see the joy and feel there happiness ! Knowing that someday it will be our stop to!Here or the next home that we go to! I offer u a special hug as I see and feel your sadness. But you are not alone my friend!

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

Suzanne D on 12/14/01 at 22:35 (067008)

What a nice thought, Rebecca! Thank you for sharing it with us. Sometimes I think God calms the storm in answer to our prayers, and sometimes I think the storm remains, but He calms us.

Aren't you a fellow piano player? I'm sorry if I have that mixed up, but I was thinking you and I mentioned that to one another a few weeks ago! Today at my little school we had a Christmas sing-a-long for the children and staff in the gym, and I was able to play the piano for it. I enjoyed that. The teachers and staff really get into it, expecially as they perform The Twelve Days of Christmas for the students. By the time we have some acting out the geese-a-laying and the lords-a-leaping, the children are laughing so hard that it really wouldn't matter if NO one was playing the piano! It was a nice way to end school for the holidays.

Thanks again for your thoughts... :-)

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

rebecca h on 12/14/01 at 23:34 (067013)

Hi Suzanne!

Yes, its me, the piano player. I was thinking about what affect piano playing -well actually pushing the pedal : ) might have on PF. I think you said your left foot was the worst? My left foot is worse than my right and I thought maybe just maybe it was because I have used my right foot all these years on the pedal and perhaps that has made the muscles and connective tissue more flexible and stronger. We should do a survey. Calling all pianists....? Are you out there? : )

Your sing-a-long sounded really fun! I wish I could have seen those kids!
I just got back a while ago from the Christmas recital of my piano students One little six year old girl played 'All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth' which was cute because she had just lost her two front teeth. The kids did really well but I am relieved that the big event is over and I can relax a couple days. I was on my feet way too much at the recital talking to parents and grandparents. I felt it would be rude to just sit there since many of them don't know about my feet.

I enjoyed the picture of you and your students. Especially the little guy with the upside down mask. cute cute cute .... I don't know what I would do without kids in my life. They bring so many smiles and laughter. Of course they're a lot of work too!!! : ) But worth it. . .
I like the way they help me see things from a new perspective and get my mind off my foot problems too.

Well, take care of your feet and see ya around!

rebecca p.s. have you ever heard / played the song called Ashokan Farewell? Its one of my favorites.

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

John h on 12/15/01 at 09:21 (067030)

Do a search on this board under Jade and you will find many post. You can purchase it from the good doctor who introduced it to the board. he is from australia and his email address i in various post.

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

Carole C on 12/15/01 at 09:24 (067031)

Thanks. I later found the website, by having the bright idea of searching in a general search engine.

Carole C

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

Suzanne D on 12/16/01 at 07:10 (067110)

Dear Rebecca,
That's an interesting observation about the right foot vs. the left foot of paino players. You just might have something there! The right foot certainly does get more exercise!

How many piano students do you have? I am sure your recital was nice, with the parents and grandparents so proud of their children's progress! Were there a number of Christmas selections played? I can just see the little six year old grinning after playing 'All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth'! Six year olds seem most proud of lost teeth and new shoes! :-) I'm with you: children are such a part of my life and make everything worthwhile (although you are right that they are a lot of work, too!)

I have not heard of the song you mentioned. By the title, I can imagine that it is a hauntingly beautiful tune.

Take care! I hope you're feeling more rested after your recital.

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

rebecca on 12/16/01 at 18:22 (067147)

Hi Suzanne!

I have 11 students, not counting my own children who play. With them its 17. About half the songs on the recital were Christmas songs. It really went well this time. Some recitals are a little rough when someone freezes in the middle of the song or even cries! But everyone was well prepared this time and only one little girl lost her place when she looked at the audience, but she made a good recovery. I've learned to start them on their recital songs about two months before the recital and I let them use their written music if they want to. This helps their confidence level quite a bit.

You are totally right about Ashokan Farewell. Hauntingly Beautiful is a good way to describe it. It is from a PBS History series on the Civil War produced by Ken Burns. I found the sheet music in a music store.

What kind of music do you like to play?

And how are your feet? I don't remember reading your foot history on these web pages but haven't been around very long so I'm still the new feet in town I suppose. I've had PF mildly for a couple years but serious PF about 4 months. I didn't even have a name for it until early November. Now I feel like a Member of this Illustrious Foot Club.

Well, enjoy your holiday and hope your feet are improving,
your PF friend,
rebecca

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

Suzanne D on 12/16/01 at 19:47 (067156)

Dear Rebecca,

Your piano recital must have been quite special! And did I understand you to say that you have 6 children? How old are they? I have two daughters, 15 and 20. My oldest is a junior in college - majoring in elementary ed and minoring in music. She has a double minor, piano and clarinet. My younger daughter takes piano lessons and tap and ballet. She was in a piano recital Thursday night. Her teacher lets them use music, too, and I think that's great. It takes some of the pressure off and lets them concentrate on playing well. She was in a performance of Cinderella this afternoon. Just looking at all those FEET in ballet slippers made mine hurt!! :-)

I have had PF since the first week of June. Actually, looking back, I think I had some off and on symptoms for months before that (when I taught at another school with concrete floors for an intersession week last fall and again this spring). The pain went away afterwards, and I thought nothing of it. It came in June and stayed. But I am gradually doing better with some setbacks here and there - especially when I overdo it.

I play at church and play in my classroom on a simple keyboard which I keep near my desk. We do a lot of 'piggyback songs' - you know, songs to familiar tunes with new words to go along with what we are learning. I enjoy hearing my daughter play the classics and other newer pieces - themes to movies and so forth. I don't seem to have much time to play 'just for myself', but when I do, I enjoy picking something out by ear which I have heard on the radio and like. I read music, but not the difficult music which I am sure you can play and which my daughter plays.

My husband is a Civil War buff and watches a lot of movies and specials concerning the war. I have commented that there is some truly beautiful, although sad music in those movies! Perhaps I have heard Ashokan Farewell and didn't know the name of it!

Sorry this is so long; I got started and just kept going...! Take care, and may your holidays be special! :-)

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

michael b on 12/17/01 at 13:34 (067201)

i haven't got it yet --- burned $25.00 bucks to try it out --- i actually found it on this website --- will let you know more when i get and use it . . . . . jade balm -- it's sounds like really great snake oil doesn't it??? i might as well have bought it off a flat bed wagon like they did in the wild west --- but if it helps some, i'm all over it

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

michael b on 12/17/01 at 13:38 (067202)

i forget to answer your question w/ the last posting --- the stuff is supposed to help heal your pf . . . you know, do it organically, holistically, etc.etc.

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

michael b on 12/17/01 at 13:40 (067203)

ordered some, will let you know how it works --- just like you said, its from australia

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

Carole C on 12/17/01 at 18:48 (067247)

Michael, thank you for the information. I hope it works! I'll let you be my guinea pig, ok? (grin)

I hope your feet are improving. With any luck, maybe the Jade Balm will help. I was really touched by your post, you know the one about how much running and athletics have been such a big part of your life.

Personally I have had a noticeable improvement since I got my shower stool. It's kind of a blow to the ego to use something like that (makes me feel a hundred years old) but hey, I am in less pain than before.

Carole

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

michael b on 12/18/01 at 10:17 (067316)

put it on last nite and again this morning --- am not fully healed yet, but will look to see if it helps any . . . will let you know. . . for $25.00 bucks anything's worth a try

Re: roller coaster !!

Sherrie M. on 12/12/01 at 17:47 (066849)

Yes Carole you are right, it is a roller coaster ride.Some days are better than others, we just have to try not to over do it. Isn't that just a pain in the neck though, I am so jealous of all of my friends going out and doing their Christmas shopping and all I can do is sit at this computer and order on the net. I really miss shopping! I'll get over it though.Hope you continue to feel well. Sherrie

Re: roller coaster !!

Carole C on 12/12/01 at 18:20 (066852)

Thanks, Sherrie. How are you doing tonight? Didn't you just have the ART treatment recently? I skipped most of those threads but I hope that you will feel better soon, too.

I miss shopping a lot. I live alone and I didn't even get a Christmas tree this year because of my stupid feet. I have no decorations, because my ex got them when we divorced. Only this year did I feel financially recovered enough to buy any, and now I can't walk well enough to get them! How maddening. I'm going to look at trees and decorations online, and dream about what my Christmas tree and decorations will be like next year. I'm shopping on the net for presents, too.

Luckily I was able to get my new pet fish, Bert and Ernie, when the rollercoaster of PF was letting me feel good. They are still alive and swimming around so happily in their aquarium in the living room. We are getting used to each other, and I try to be careful not to scare them. It's nice to have company!

Carole

Re: roller coaster !!

nancy s. on 12/12/01 at 18:29 (066853)

carole, you let your ex have custody of your christmas decorations when you divorced?!? i hope you got a house or something else equivalent instead.
i loved the pics of you and your shoe. you look like a lovely lady; and for me and shoes, the clunkier the better, so i liked them too!
so many people go through a big adjustment over having to wear clunky shoes after PF arrives. i was lucky that i already was wearing clunky shoes when PF hit, and enjoying them too. that was about the one thing in life i *didn't* have to adjust.
nancy

Re: roller coaster !!

Carole C on 12/12/01 at 18:47 (066854)

No, I didn't get the house, or the bank account or his retirement from the 23 years we were married, or the furniture... all I got was debt! The divorce was my idea, and he was getting to be an abusive drunk, and I just wanted him out of my life so I agreed to anything that would speed things up. I got an uncontested divorce, which in Louisiana only took me about six weeks because we had been separated previously.

I'm *much* happier now. The first couple of years after my divorce, I lived a very spartan life..... slept on the floor because he had the bed, lived on almost nothing. But I saved nearly every penny I made, and by living so frugally for two years I managed to get out of debt and to save a nest egg for emergencies. Now I am able to afford more and I do not worry about that. I am just working on building up some retirement of my own, since I'm 53 already.

Thank you for the nice comments about me and my clunky shoes! I only *thought* I was wearing clunky shoes when PF hit. These are a whole new level of clunky, to me! They look very large because they are thick and strong and well padded.

Carole C

Re: Remarks about "Clunky" shoes

Necee on 12/12/01 at 22:14 (066865)

Hi Carole,
Well first of all let me congratulate you on getting rid of that abusive drunk and secondly on surviving after a divorce that left you with nothing. To have a rough time like you did and then be able to pull yourself up out of debt is a testament to your strong will.
Now about those 'clunky' shoes........
I bought my first pair of Birks in July and have been the topic of much laughter and ridicule ever since! I call them my 'Gumby' shoes, maybe you remember the cartoon Gumby. These are the ugliest shoes I have ever seen, they are big and boxy, but I could care less. I'm not in it for the fashion, thats for sure. I want comfort and thats exactly what I get from wearing them.
I did go buy another pair that do look a little more fashionable though.
You'd think they would make shoes that look half way decent for people with PF.
Happy Trails.......
Necee

Re: roller coaster !!

Barbara TX on 12/13/01 at 14:09 (066892)

I would say that PF for me is like a subway. B.

Re: Remarks about "Clunky" shoes

Suzanne D on 12/13/01 at 14:17 (066893)

I agree with Necee, Carole: you have shown a great deal of 'spunk' and should be congratulated for what you have accomplished in the past few years! I am sure this same determination will stand you in good stead as you battle PF and seek out ways to help yourself.

Keep up the good work! :-)

Re: Remarks about "Clunky" shoes

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 16:13 (066900)

Thanks, Necee and Suzanne. I appreciate the encouragement. You've made a difference in somebody's life today, mine. It really touches me to read what you have said.

It's hard to know what to say. Thank you. And, I hope you are right about my determination helping me to battle with PF.

Carole C

Re: roller coaster !!

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 16:14 (066901)

Sorry to hear that!!! I wish I could lower a rope ladder to you.

Carole C

Re: roller coaster !!

JudyS on 12/13/01 at 17:38 (066907)

subway?
'splain yourself girl....

Re: A Ride on the Subway

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 21:36 (066914)

Barbara, I think maybe I know what you mean. I've noticed a couple of posts where people were thinking of a possible link between PF and depression, and a lot of us do seem to feel discouraged and down.

I would bet that if a thousand random, healthy people were suddenly put in constant pain, told they are supposed to stay off their feet and not do what they want to do, and that they have to wear stupid clunky shoes and can't even take a shower barefoot, and all this continued during the holiday season and might not be over for months if ever, that every one of those thousand random people would feel depressed and discouraged.

It's just the possibility that all this might end sometime, that gives me the occasional 'ups' on my rollercoaster, when otherwise I would be down in the subway.

You know what? I've not seen it mentioned before, but I think that PF is very TIRING. All that tightness is just physically exhausting, and the situation is mentally tiring at well. It's easy to feel kind of exhausted and depressed on some days, even if one's feet are improving.

Carole C

Re: roller coaster !!

Barbara TX on 12/13/01 at 21:52 (066915)

Okay, its like this. You go down into the dark and you just stay there. People keep telling you that your stop is coming, but they don't know when. You just keep going with no light in sight, and your rear is aching from sitting on the hard lumpy seats. You beging to atrophy and cobwebs grow in your hair. I am the baglady of the PF subway, and I smell like Jade Balm, so know one will sit near me.

Am I depressing anyone? Please stop this train from hell. I want to get off NOW. B.

Re: A Ride on the Subway

Barbara TX on 12/13/01 at 22:03 (066917)

Carol - you are right on the money (as usual). It is a mentally exhausting thing as well. I think that I am past the depression part of it, although for awhile it was very, very bad and required medication. Now, it is simply tiring and I worry about my kids and husband a lot. Caring for a home and little kids with no feet is tiring! B.

Re: A Ride on the Subway

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 22:32 (066919)

It's exhausting! You are so admirable to have gotten past the depression part. I don't know how anyone can manage with PF and kids.

I'm still bouncing in and out of the depression part. I have been hanging onto the belief that this can't last forever, hanging on like a starving piranha. LOL Besides, the holidays will be over soon so maybe that will help.

You would not believe what I just did about one minute ago. I was lying in bed, playing games on my iPAQ pocket PC, when the battery ran down to about nothing (as it is prone to do now and then if not recharged). Like a total moron, I jumped up out of bed and ran the ten feet to my desk BAREFOOT to plug it into the charger so I would not lose my data. So here I sit, barefoot, ten *very* long feet from the bed and my shoes, and contemplating crawling back. (grin)

Take care, Barbara!! It's got to turn around eventually (if you don't go on impulsive barefoot jaunts like I just did, and keep on being careful instead).

Carole C

Re: roller coaster !!

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 22:38 (066920)

Beverly, did I just see a sign that said, 'Next Stop: Flowers, Sunshine, and Fresh Air!' ? Maybe things will be looking up soon.

Unless.... well, unless those darn signs are wrong again!

Hang in there, subway riders!

Carole C

Re: oops

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 22:39 (066921)

Sorry! I meant Barbara, not Beverly. Unless Beverly's on the PF subway too!

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

rebecca h on 12/13/01 at 23:09 (066924)

Hi Carole and Barbara,

I hope I don't offend anyone by this message but I wanted to share something that has encouraged me the last few days. My all-time hero from history is the man whose birth we are celebrating December 25. You know...Jesus. Anyway, the other day as I was lowering myself step by wooden step (sitting on my rear and using my arms for support)down into the basement. I was thinking about why my prayers haven't been answered yet and being depressed and then I remembered that one of the last things Jesus did before his death was to get a towel and some cold water (at least I suppose it was cold) and wash the tired, dirty aching feet of his the 12 main guys on his team. Okay, I know this might seem weird but I thought, hey if he did that, he cares about my feet too. And at least he did answer ONE of my prayers and that was to find you guys. I know the people on this board have all kinds of different backgrounds and beliefs but I have felt so much love here and it has really helped me face this thing without being totally overwhelmed with depression.

I used that 'be Mommy's hands' thing today with my kids. They are all helping out more and will be quite good at all kinds of household chores. Even the 2-year-old is doing stuff like taking the silverware from the dishwasher to the drawer. He doesn't get them in the right slots but hey, at least they're in the drawer, right? And he is SO PROUD of himself : )

Hang in there everybody! I know we can help each other through all this.

rebecca

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

Carole C on 12/13/01 at 23:47 (066928)

What a nice post! I am not religious but I am so glad that one of your prayers was answered by finding this message board. You have helped lots of people here too, you know! And your two year old sounds like such a sweetie pie, and you are building great memories and teaching your son to be generous and self reliant (to the extent that he can be), and proud of what he can do.

I think I am going to call in sick tomorrow. My feet aren't any worse, just aggravating and tight, but I'm exhausted and fed up with things at work (which is why I can't sleep). After the weekend it will seem better. I love my job! I just don't love it today.

Carole C

Re: roller coaster !!

john h on 12/14/01 at 09:10 (066938)

Barb: If you smell like jade balm then you 'are the woman' because I think Jade smells great. If you do not get depressed after years of PF and a complete change of life style then there is something very wrong with you. Hope is the great motivator and your rock in the battle with PF. Hope is one the important things you can take away from the board.

Re: roller coaster !!

Carole C on 12/14/01 at 09:21 (066942)

John, you are so right about depression, and about hope. We have to hang on to that hope as much as we possibly can. Well said!

Carole C

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

Carole C on 12/14/01 at 12:33 (066955)

What is this Jade Balm anyway? I read the survey on this site, and I realize it's some kind of salve that smells like Lemon Pledge and you put it on your foot, and it works for some people but not others.

Can you buy it in normal stores, or where? What is it supposed to do?

Carole C

Re: May I sit for a while till we find a stop,

Tammie on 12/14/01 at 19:24 (066995)

I can relate to this feeling totaly!Like heh mister when will it be my stop! You have described it perfectly! I am sorry that your stop has not come yet , maybe soon it will and if u do not mind I would like to ride with u so that u are not alone I am sorry you are in so much pain and the bus keeps going and going! It will have to run out of gas sooner or later, and I would like for u to not be left all alone so can i sit for a bit to? I will sit in the back and wave out the window at all our frinds as we let them off for there stop and hope that soon the bus will be empty and noone will remain noone! And the bonus will be seeing all the wonderful caring people find there stops and to see the joy and feel there happiness ! Knowing that someday it will be our stop to!Here or the next home that we go to! I offer u a special hug as I see and feel your sadness. But you are not alone my friend!

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

Suzanne D on 12/14/01 at 22:35 (067008)

What a nice thought, Rebecca! Thank you for sharing it with us. Sometimes I think God calms the storm in answer to our prayers, and sometimes I think the storm remains, but He calms us.

Aren't you a fellow piano player? I'm sorry if I have that mixed up, but I was thinking you and I mentioned that to one another a few weeks ago! Today at my little school we had a Christmas sing-a-long for the children and staff in the gym, and I was able to play the piano for it. I enjoyed that. The teachers and staff really get into it, expecially as they perform The Twelve Days of Christmas for the students. By the time we have some acting out the geese-a-laying and the lords-a-leaping, the children are laughing so hard that it really wouldn't matter if NO one was playing the piano! It was a nice way to end school for the holidays.

Thanks again for your thoughts... :-)

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

rebecca h on 12/14/01 at 23:34 (067013)

Hi Suzanne!

Yes, its me, the piano player. I was thinking about what affect piano playing -well actually pushing the pedal : ) might have on PF. I think you said your left foot was the worst? My left foot is worse than my right and I thought maybe just maybe it was because I have used my right foot all these years on the pedal and perhaps that has made the muscles and connective tissue more flexible and stronger. We should do a survey. Calling all pianists....? Are you out there? : )

Your sing-a-long sounded really fun! I wish I could have seen those kids!
I just got back a while ago from the Christmas recital of my piano students One little six year old girl played 'All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth' which was cute because she had just lost her two front teeth. The kids did really well but I am relieved that the big event is over and I can relax a couple days. I was on my feet way too much at the recital talking to parents and grandparents. I felt it would be rude to just sit there since many of them don't know about my feet.

I enjoyed the picture of you and your students. Especially the little guy with the upside down mask. cute cute cute .... I don't know what I would do without kids in my life. They bring so many smiles and laughter. Of course they're a lot of work too!!! : ) But worth it. . .
I like the way they help me see things from a new perspective and get my mind off my foot problems too.

Well, take care of your feet and see ya around!

rebecca p.s. have you ever heard / played the song called Ashokan Farewell? Its one of my favorites.

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

John h on 12/15/01 at 09:21 (067030)

Do a search on this board under Jade and you will find many post. You can purchase it from the good doctor who introduced it to the board. he is from australia and his email address i in various post.

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

Carole C on 12/15/01 at 09:24 (067031)

Thanks. I later found the website, by having the bright idea of searching in a general search engine.

Carole C

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

Suzanne D on 12/16/01 at 07:10 (067110)

Dear Rebecca,
That's an interesting observation about the right foot vs. the left foot of paino players. You just might have something there! The right foot certainly does get more exercise!

How many piano students do you have? I am sure your recital was nice, with the parents and grandparents so proud of their children's progress! Were there a number of Christmas selections played? I can just see the little six year old grinning after playing 'All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth'! Six year olds seem most proud of lost teeth and new shoes! :-) I'm with you: children are such a part of my life and make everything worthwhile (although you are right that they are a lot of work, too!)

I have not heard of the song you mentioned. By the title, I can imagine that it is a hauntingly beautiful tune.

Take care! I hope you're feeling more rested after your recital.

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

rebecca on 12/16/01 at 18:22 (067147)

Hi Suzanne!

I have 11 students, not counting my own children who play. With them its 17. About half the songs on the recital were Christmas songs. It really went well this time. Some recitals are a little rough when someone freezes in the middle of the song or even cries! But everyone was well prepared this time and only one little girl lost her place when she looked at the audience, but she made a good recovery. I've learned to start them on their recital songs about two months before the recital and I let them use their written music if they want to. This helps their confidence level quite a bit.

You are totally right about Ashokan Farewell. Hauntingly Beautiful is a good way to describe it. It is from a PBS History series on the Civil War produced by Ken Burns. I found the sheet music in a music store.

What kind of music do you like to play?

And how are your feet? I don't remember reading your foot history on these web pages but haven't been around very long so I'm still the new feet in town I suppose. I've had PF mildly for a couple years but serious PF about 4 months. I didn't even have a name for it until early November. Now I feel like a Member of this Illustrious Foot Club.

Well, enjoy your holiday and hope your feet are improving,
your PF friend,
rebecca

Re: Hope I don't offend anyone...

Suzanne D on 12/16/01 at 19:47 (067156)

Dear Rebecca,

Your piano recital must have been quite special! And did I understand you to say that you have 6 children? How old are they? I have two daughters, 15 and 20. My oldest is a junior in college - majoring in elementary ed and minoring in music. She has a double minor, piano and clarinet. My younger daughter takes piano lessons and tap and ballet. She was in a piano recital Thursday night. Her teacher lets them use music, too, and I think that's great. It takes some of the pressure off and lets them concentrate on playing well. She was in a performance of Cinderella this afternoon. Just looking at all those FEET in ballet slippers made mine hurt!! :-)

I have had PF since the first week of June. Actually, looking back, I think I had some off and on symptoms for months before that (when I taught at another school with concrete floors for an intersession week last fall and again this spring). The pain went away afterwards, and I thought nothing of it. It came in June and stayed. But I am gradually doing better with some setbacks here and there - especially when I overdo it.

I play at church and play in my classroom on a simple keyboard which I keep near my desk. We do a lot of 'piggyback songs' - you know, songs to familiar tunes with new words to go along with what we are learning. I enjoy hearing my daughter play the classics and other newer pieces - themes to movies and so forth. I don't seem to have much time to play 'just for myself', but when I do, I enjoy picking something out by ear which I have heard on the radio and like. I read music, but not the difficult music which I am sure you can play and which my daughter plays.

My husband is a Civil War buff and watches a lot of movies and specials concerning the war. I have commented that there is some truly beautiful, although sad music in those movies! Perhaps I have heard Ashokan Farewell and didn't know the name of it!

Sorry this is so long; I got started and just kept going...! Take care, and may your holidays be special! :-)

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

michael b on 12/17/01 at 13:34 (067201)

i haven't got it yet --- burned $25.00 bucks to try it out --- i actually found it on this website --- will let you know more when i get and use it . . . . . jade balm -- it's sounds like really great snake oil doesn't it??? i might as well have bought it off a flat bed wagon like they did in the wild west --- but if it helps some, i'm all over it

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

michael b on 12/17/01 at 13:38 (067202)

i forget to answer your question w/ the last posting --- the stuff is supposed to help heal your pf . . . you know, do it organically, holistically, etc.etc.

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

michael b on 12/17/01 at 13:40 (067203)

ordered some, will let you know how it works --- just like you said, its from australia

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

Carole C on 12/17/01 at 18:48 (067247)

Michael, thank you for the information. I hope it works! I'll let you be my guinea pig, ok? (grin)

I hope your feet are improving. With any luck, maybe the Jade Balm will help. I was really touched by your post, you know the one about how much running and athletics have been such a big part of your life.

Personally I have had a noticeable improvement since I got my shower stool. It's kind of a blow to the ego to use something like that (makes me feel a hundred years old) but hey, I am in less pain than before.

Carole

Re: so what IS jade balm?????? I give up! LOL

michael b on 12/18/01 at 10:17 (067316)

put it on last nite and again this morning --- am not fully healed yet, but will look to see if it helps any . . . will let you know. . . for $25.00 bucks anything's worth a try