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A post-Christmas thought

Posted by Julie on 12/27/01 at 09:41 (067885)

Detecting notes of disappointment and sadness in some of the posts in the run-up to Christmas, I wanted to say something but didn't want to say it then because I didn't want to seem to be pouring cold water on anyone's pleasure in the holiday season. But it seems to me that special occasions such as Christmas (well, especially Christmas) give rise to unrealistic expectations - of happiness, pleasure, togetherness, you name it - that can't always be fulfilled and often end in disappointment.

It's a time when families are supposed to get together and take pleasure in each other's company - yet many families don't take pleasure in each other's company, and in some families tensions and conflicts run higher than usual. And it's a time when people who are on their own feel lonelier than ever, marginalized by the supposed happiness and togetherness swirling all around them.

And then there's the commercial circus that the Christmas season has become, and the sheer exhaustion that many feel at all the shopping, cooking and eating. Especially people whose feet hurt! It all has nothing to do with what Christmas is about.

There's a Buddhist saying: 'Expectation is premeditated disappointment'. That's always true, but I think it's most true at this time of year.

If this offends anyone, I am sorry. I wanted to say it not to dampen anyone's real enjoyment - I really hope that most of you had a lovely Christmas - but maybe to make anyone who didn't have such a lovely Christmas feel a bit better, and maybe plant a thought for next time.

As I will be away for a couple of weeks and may not post much before I go, I wish everyone at heelspurs.com a peaceful, rewarding year ahead. Let's cherish our loved ones and be aware of our blessings every day of 2002.

Re: Double posting

Julie on 12/27/01 at 10:48 (067887)

Scott, I did not push the button twice! I promise! Please please please, try to get to the bottom of this insidious gremlin. It's really embarrassing.

Re: Julie

Carmen H on 12/27/01 at 12:33 (067891)

Amen Julie. I had a wonderful Christmas holiday....pain and all..ended up with the flu and even that couldn't dampen my Christmas with my family. Kisses and hugs from the kids were alll that mattered to me this holiday.
:-)

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Necee on 12/27/01 at 13:13 (067895)

Very well said Julie, I agree that Christmas is more than just gifts, eating and cooking. Its going out of the normal everyday routines to share our lives with others, to make the time to sit down at the dinner table and have fellowship with those we love. Above all, it is the celebration of the birth of our savior, Jesus Christ.
Christmas seems to be getting less spiritual every year, and I don't like that! There is so much pressure put on people these days to give gifts that it has become a dreaded holiday by many.
It is my prayer in the New Year that we all get back to the basics in life, and realize what is most important. Spending more time than money next year with those we love, and doing things for others to make their days brighter.
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with us Julie and look forward to reading more of your wisdom in the New Year.
God Bless,
Necee

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Clara on 12/27/01 at 13:59 (067899)

God bless you Julie - you´re absolute right!

Have a nice holiday!

//Clara

Re: A post-Christmas thought

nancy s. on 12/27/01 at 14:51 (067903)

thanks for this, julie. i can relate to everything in it. the commercialism, which has reached astounding proportions over the last couple of decades, is something i find especially depressing and beside the point. and yes, kind of sad. i feel sorry -- i mean i suspect people would experience much more true joy, no matter what their spiritual leaning, if the focus could be shifted away from too many new things and spending so much money. i opted out of that scenario quite a few years ago, and what a relief it was.
now to work out those family tensions! or endure them gracefully.
nancy

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Suzanne D on 12/27/01 at 15:25 (067907)

How true, and how beautifully expressed, Julie!! I agree with you completely. It seems that so many special times in our lives are prone to become 'commercial circuses', leaving most involved stressed and on the verge of 'burn-out'. Surely this ought not to be so! As long as we keep realizing these things and get good reminders such as what you wrote, we will be able to keep ourselves from being sucked into such a state. Maybe a little viewing of 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas' or 'Mickey's Christmas Carol' (sorry...I ALWAYS go back to the children's books/movies) could help us keep these thoughts in mind. Also 'It's a Wonderful Life' which is one movie that although not for children is a favorite of mine!

Julie, have a marvelous 'break', and we will miss you here!

Re: Double posting

John h on 12/27/01 at 19:03 (067930)

glad to see some of you double posting. i had a bout of that a few weeks ago. must be something in the air.

Re: Double posting

John h on 12/27/01 at 20:17 (067933)

glad to see some of you double posting. i had a bout of that a few weeks ago. must be something in the air.

Re: Double posting

Julie on 12/28/01 at 02:45 (067949)

There you go again, John.

Re: A post-Christmas thought

clara on 12/28/01 at 05:39 (067955)

Hi there Suzanne! Funny, just an hour ago I was at the video-store and what film do you think I borrowed! yes, The Grinch...!!! Me and my 9 year old boy will look at that movie tonight.

Julie, she is so wonderful I think, and she is so right in her postings, that sometimes I get tears in my eyes. And I love you all friends here on heelspurs.com!!!

Hugs from

//Clara

PS AND suddenly, yesterday, I noticed that MY PAIN IN MY BOTH FEET HAS GONE AWAY!!!!! ITS TRUE!!!! I think maybe I needed some rest, I have take time off from work til jan 4. When I get back to work, I really will take it VERY easy!! DS

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Richard, C.Ped on 12/28/01 at 13:20 (067995)

I have to tell you, this was the best and least stressful Christmas I have ever had. Our families, my side and my wifes, decided not to do presents this year due to financial reasons. That relieved about 90% of the stress already. Having all the new babies around was the best part. Presents were only given to the babies instead of each other. Seeing them all together along with the families was awesome. No arguments or complaints at all, which usualy occured. We had a blast.

Richard, c.Ped

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Necee on 12/28/01 at 15:05 (068003)

Hi Richard,
So glad you and your family had a wonderful stress-free Christmas.
That's the type of Christmas I hope to get back to next year. I enjoyed this season very much, I spent more time this year visiting family and friends. But it was the gift-giving that I just think is a waste.
If we could only give more of ourselves...........
Necee

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Suzanne D on 12/28/01 at 19:06 (068023)

Oh, Clara, I am so glad that your pain has gone away!!! I hope that this relief continues! Keep resting while you are off and don't do too much now that you are feeling better! (I know that's easier to say than to do!)

Best wishes to you!!! :-)

Re: A post-Christmas thought

clara on 12/29/01 at 05:28 (068053)

Hi all!

Thanks all for your nice and caring posts. And Richard, I´m so happy for you, nice to hear that you not do presents, we have not given eachother anything for the least 5 years, only to the children.

Yesterday evening, me and my 9 year old boy saw 'Grinchen' -movie - that was wonderful! It´s like 'Scrooge' in some way, but better, I just love Jim Carey! The little boy, 2½ years, did like it, too, even if Carey was a little scary sometimes. WOW, what costumes they had! It must have taken lots of time put ALL THAT on!

And I´m still have no hurt feet - I cannot believe this!

Have a nice New Year!

//Clara

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Suzanne D on 12/29/01 at 11:55 (068074)

I'm glad you and your children liked the Grinch movie, Clara! My daughters teased me when we first saw the movie and asked if I had designed the Christmasy outfits! (I am rather known for wearing outfits to school for every season and theme which I teach! I make most of them, and lots of people would never dream of wearing them, but the children like them, and I get excited along with them! I have a penguin jumper, for instance, which I will wear when we return to school. Once we were throwing away an old computer mouse pad at home and a neighbor boy said, 'Don't throw it away! Suzanne could put it on a sweatshirt and have 'Computer Day' at school!) :-)

I'm SO glad your feet aren't hurting!!!

Re: Double posting

Julie on 12/27/01 at 10:48 (067887)

Scott, I did not push the button twice! I promise! Please please please, try to get to the bottom of this insidious gremlin. It's really embarrassing.

Re: Julie

Carmen H on 12/27/01 at 12:33 (067891)

Amen Julie. I had a wonderful Christmas holiday....pain and all..ended up with the flu and even that couldn't dampen my Christmas with my family. Kisses and hugs from the kids were alll that mattered to me this holiday.
:-)

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Necee on 12/27/01 at 13:13 (067895)

Very well said Julie, I agree that Christmas is more than just gifts, eating and cooking. Its going out of the normal everyday routines to share our lives with others, to make the time to sit down at the dinner table and have fellowship with those we love. Above all, it is the celebration of the birth of our savior, Jesus Christ.
Christmas seems to be getting less spiritual every year, and I don't like that! There is so much pressure put on people these days to give gifts that it has become a dreaded holiday by many.
It is my prayer in the New Year that we all get back to the basics in life, and realize what is most important. Spending more time than money next year with those we love, and doing things for others to make their days brighter.
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with us Julie and look forward to reading more of your wisdom in the New Year.
God Bless,
Necee

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Clara on 12/27/01 at 13:59 (067899)

God bless you Julie - you´re absolute right!

Have a nice holiday!

//Clara

Re: A post-Christmas thought

nancy s. on 12/27/01 at 14:51 (067903)

thanks for this, julie. i can relate to everything in it. the commercialism, which has reached astounding proportions over the last couple of decades, is something i find especially depressing and beside the point. and yes, kind of sad. i feel sorry -- i mean i suspect people would experience much more true joy, no matter what their spiritual leaning, if the focus could be shifted away from too many new things and spending so much money. i opted out of that scenario quite a few years ago, and what a relief it was.
now to work out those family tensions! or endure them gracefully.
nancy

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Suzanne D on 12/27/01 at 15:25 (067907)

How true, and how beautifully expressed, Julie!! I agree with you completely. It seems that so many special times in our lives are prone to become 'commercial circuses', leaving most involved stressed and on the verge of 'burn-out'. Surely this ought not to be so! As long as we keep realizing these things and get good reminders such as what you wrote, we will be able to keep ourselves from being sucked into such a state. Maybe a little viewing of 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas' or 'Mickey's Christmas Carol' (sorry...I ALWAYS go back to the children's books/movies) could help us keep these thoughts in mind. Also 'It's a Wonderful Life' which is one movie that although not for children is a favorite of mine!

Julie, have a marvelous 'break', and we will miss you here!

Re: Double posting

John h on 12/27/01 at 19:03 (067930)

glad to see some of you double posting. i had a bout of that a few weeks ago. must be something in the air.

Re: Double posting

John h on 12/27/01 at 20:17 (067933)

glad to see some of you double posting. i had a bout of that a few weeks ago. must be something in the air.

Re: Double posting

Julie on 12/28/01 at 02:45 (067949)

There you go again, John.

Re: A post-Christmas thought

clara on 12/28/01 at 05:39 (067955)

Hi there Suzanne! Funny, just an hour ago I was at the video-store and what film do you think I borrowed! yes, The Grinch...!!! Me and my 9 year old boy will look at that movie tonight.

Julie, she is so wonderful I think, and she is so right in her postings, that sometimes I get tears in my eyes. And I love you all friends here on heelspurs.com!!!

Hugs from

//Clara

PS AND suddenly, yesterday, I noticed that MY PAIN IN MY BOTH FEET HAS GONE AWAY!!!!! ITS TRUE!!!! I think maybe I needed some rest, I have take time off from work til jan 4. When I get back to work, I really will take it VERY easy!! DS

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Richard, C.Ped on 12/28/01 at 13:20 (067995)

I have to tell you, this was the best and least stressful Christmas I have ever had. Our families, my side and my wifes, decided not to do presents this year due to financial reasons. That relieved about 90% of the stress already. Having all the new babies around was the best part. Presents were only given to the babies instead of each other. Seeing them all together along with the families was awesome. No arguments or complaints at all, which usualy occured. We had a blast.

Richard, c.Ped

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Necee on 12/28/01 at 15:05 (068003)

Hi Richard,
So glad you and your family had a wonderful stress-free Christmas.
That's the type of Christmas I hope to get back to next year. I enjoyed this season very much, I spent more time this year visiting family and friends. But it was the gift-giving that I just think is a waste.
If we could only give more of ourselves...........
Necee

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Suzanne D on 12/28/01 at 19:06 (068023)

Oh, Clara, I am so glad that your pain has gone away!!! I hope that this relief continues! Keep resting while you are off and don't do too much now that you are feeling better! (I know that's easier to say than to do!)

Best wishes to you!!! :-)

Re: A post-Christmas thought

clara on 12/29/01 at 05:28 (068053)

Hi all!

Thanks all for your nice and caring posts. And Richard, I´m so happy for you, nice to hear that you not do presents, we have not given eachother anything for the least 5 years, only to the children.

Yesterday evening, me and my 9 year old boy saw 'Grinchen' -movie - that was wonderful! It´s like 'Scrooge' in some way, but better, I just love Jim Carey! The little boy, 2½ years, did like it, too, even if Carey was a little scary sometimes. WOW, what costumes they had! It must have taken lots of time put ALL THAT on!

And I´m still have no hurt feet - I cannot believe this!

Have a nice New Year!

//Clara

Re: A post-Christmas thought

Suzanne D on 12/29/01 at 11:55 (068074)

I'm glad you and your children liked the Grinch movie, Clara! My daughters teased me when we first saw the movie and asked if I had designed the Christmasy outfits! (I am rather known for wearing outfits to school for every season and theme which I teach! I make most of them, and lots of people would never dream of wearing them, but the children like them, and I get excited along with them! I have a penguin jumper, for instance, which I will wear when we return to school. Once we were throwing away an old computer mouse pad at home and a neighbor boy said, 'Don't throw it away! Suzanne could put it on a sweatshirt and have 'Computer Day' at school!) :-)

I'm SO glad your feet aren't hurting!!!