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Spousal support

Posted by Kerri P on 1/21/02 at 20:37 (070811)

My husband has been diagnosed within the last few months with TTS. I feel so bad for him. We loved to go window shopping in the malls on the weekends, but now he can barely last an hour or so. I get frustrated when he keeps asking me for basic things, ie glass of water, more dinner, etc. I am used to him being fairly self-sufficient and active. Now he's like a cripple. I've even suggested getting a riding cart at the grocery store b/c his feet hurt soooooo bad. I don't mean to be insulting, but he is in so much pain. The meds and orthotics are not working. Any suggestions?? This is pretty hard for me to deal with.

Thanks,
Kerri

Re: Spousal support

Carole C on 1/21/02 at 21:10 (070815)

The most important thing is to be patient and accept that he's telling the truth when he says it hurts of that he needs help. It really does. Also this can be expensive. Times like this either pull a couple apart, or bring them closer together.

Wish I had something wise to say!

Carole C

Re: Spousal support

wendyn on 1/21/02 at 21:17 (070817)

Kerri,

I know it's very difficult for people to understand.

It's impossible to understand how difficult it is to do simple things when you're pain is unbearable.

When my pain was really bad, I used to put my head down on my desk and cry after getting to my desk in the morning (no one could see me).

Please be patient, and read lots here...and know that he's NOT exaggerating or making it up.

The pain is real and it can be nasty.

Re: Spousal support

Suzanne D on 1/21/02 at 21:38 (070823)

The fact that you're asking for suggestions and coming here for help says a lot for you! As the others have said, read here to understand more and try your best to be patient. Understand that it is so hard for him - that he WANTS to go to the mall and window shop, etc. See if you can come up with something new for right now to do together like putting together a big jigsaw puzzle. That might sound corny, but he would see that you are making an effort to do something with him that did not involve walking, and he would appreciate that very much, I imagine.

Try to think about it this way when he asks for more water, etc.: the more steps you save him in those 'little trips', the more rest his feet will get and hopefully, the sooner he will show improvement.

I wish you both well! :-)

Re: Spousal support

nancy s. on 1/22/02 at 04:31 (070834)

hi kerri, it's great that you came here looking for ways to deal with this. my husband has the patience of a saint, but even he had times of exasperation with me early on in my 2 years of foot pain (i'm much better now) -- and occasionally later, too! it's very natural. ailments that change one's life as much as foot pain does are hard on the spouse as well as on the sufferer. patience is one of the main things that people with non-short bouts of foot pain inevitably have to learn, and the same goes for the people who live with them.

please do read scott's heel pain book (click on it at the top of the page). reading it was probably the most enlightening approach my husband took -- he learned a lot, and was much better able to understand and thus live with what i was going through.

also, has your husband read the heel pain book? has he looked at this website and the message boards? (there's one particularly for tarsal tunnel syndrome.) the support and advice of others here dealing with the same condition can make a world of difference; it sure did for me, and continues to, even though i'm back on my feet and walking again and doing most of the things i was able to do before my foot problems hit.

good luck to both of you. please keep posting here for any support or information you might need.
nancy

Re: Spousal support

JudyS on 1/22/02 at 10:42 (070866)

Kerri - I can't say how much I empathise with both you and your husband. Because foot pain is an invisible one, it's nearly impossible for friends and family of the victim to fully understand it's debilitating nature - both physically and emotionally.
You might want to ask your husband if he'll spend some time looking at this website, for starters. You'll both learn so much from it and many here attribute at least some of their progress to it.
I was, and still am, pretty lucky in that, not only is my husband patient and giving by nature anyway, he'd had PF and TTS a year or so before mine started so he understood completely.
Your task is clearly no less difficult than your husband's. Foot pain can be so life-altering - but that doesn't mean it's permanent! I think many here have found that the smartest thing to do in the initial stages is stay off the foot as much as possible. Getting a glass of water is one thing, but he shouldn't be shopping, etc. Also, some here have found that, if they'd followed their doctor's instructions to the letter right from the start, their foot problem would not have become chronic. I'm pretty sure I'm the one (perhaps the only one) here who is the most guilty of that. As a runner, ballplayer, etc., I was pretty sure I could just 'run through it' and it'd eventually go away. Biggest mistake I ever made.

It may help both of you quite a bit to fill us in on what's been done so far for him, his prognosis, etc. There are a few people here who have become quite expert in TTS, and there are contributing doctors here too.
But most of all, you'll find friends here from ALL walks of life. Foot problems absolutely do not discriminate - to the point that a typical sufferer really cannot be profiled.

Re: Spousal support

Julie on 1/23/02 at 05:03 (070946)

Kerri, the only thing I'd like to add to the good counsel the others have given you is this. I hear in your post a cry for help, because the person you have been able to depend upon now looks to you for strength and help. And probably you even feel angry at him for not being the active, self-sufficient person he used to be.

I think I know how you feel. I get into a state whenever my husband is ill; I find it frustrating and upsetting, and I find it very hard to be compassionate. So although yes, you are going to need to develop patience, and fortitude, and compassion for your husband, you're also going to have to acknowledge your own less laudable feelings, and forgive yourself for having them. It's quite natural. So don't be hard on yourself. But do take every opportunity to let him know that you still love him, even with his sore feet.

Do read the heel pain book. And keep coming to the website. Partners of people in pain need support too, and you'll get it here.

Re: Spousal support

john h on 1/24/02 at 11:01 (071121)

Over time the only people i have discovered really understand what PF does to you are people who have PF. How can you really explain how it effects your entire life? I no longer try and limit my discussions to this board or people who I encounter who have PF. Hopefully all our spouses and friends love and care for us but this is something most of them just cannot get their brains around for the long haul. It is not their fault because we look the same and their is no visable injury, We may get sympathy for a while but over years they tend to overlook our problem. I recognize that some of you probably have spouses and friends that do not fit this mould but I bet most of you face this problem. If you want sympathy and understanding you can always find it here.

Re: Spousal support

Tammie on 1/24/02 at 12:49 (071132)

I agree with all the wonderful words that have been said here .Kerri you are a wonderful spouse! You care enough about your hubby to look for answers to help him and to help yourself to deal with a condition that most cannot understand.It is very hard to be in both positions, one who has to watch the strong person crumble beneath the pain,and then oneday expierance it themselves on the other side of the coin.You are on a good road, to look for some help is to be comended.

I am not sure feet or foot pain is describable at times as you can not see anything to cause pain, but it is there every bit as much as a broken bone or a deep cut. My hubby has R arthritis, it was very hard for me to see him with this as it robbed him of alot including some emotional turmoil over his changes in his life and being still young. Now I have been delt this foot pain and after 2 sugeries and being no better am starting to think that it is a permenant thing I am learning how he must have been feeling.And he must be thinking like I was , and the comments he makes are very biting to me , cripple , it disgusts me to see you walk like that, I would amputate it if I had that pain,must be nice to sit around, if u did something,I know u cant go there as u are cripple,u choose to feel pain, mom it is your fault ,I could go on and on with terrible things family can hurt you with. Please remember even if you are so angry and hurt because you really want to do something and he says I cant or it is to much for me to keep the biting remarks to yourself till you can unleash your frustrations here or someplace that someone can help you really remember we do not choose this pain we do not choose to change your life as well as our own , and sometimes the things said can hurt as much as the pain itself.

I admire you for looking for ways to help and for ways for you to understand his pain. They need to have a support for spouses, and this is a wonderful site to learn all about what is happening ! I hope that your spouse comes here to get some support as this is pretty awful to deal with on your own! The physical pain equals the emotional pain sometimes .

Thank you for caring for him , he is a lucky man!!!!!!! You both will be fine. Sometimes our pride interfers with the obvious.

Re: Spousal support (judy)

Tammie on 1/24/02 at 13:03 (071137)

You are a delightful person. I wish you were not so hard on yourself as you are human. Life deals us all sorts of things to deal with, and sometimes we choose the wrong thing , well that is a lesson we learn and try not to repeat! Sometimes we fail ourselves because we think we are superhuman, and we can get thru it (in just a liitle time)So we keep going.Soon life teaches us the lesson that guess what? We are not super human and we can not keep going. There for we stop as we can not walk or move and Pain steps in to teach us this lesson. Still we might not listen to this lesson and we try with all our might to keep going, fianlly sending us to a Dr. as we can fight it no longer. We get some relief and think oh I can go again. Gee the lessons go on to teach us that in the end we will learn one way or another that our bodies will teach us to listen and we will have to learn to adjust our ways .

You should not blame yourself , or think you are alone as many of us most likly have done same or similar. For some reason some of us think we are super human and pain should not take us down, or cant take us down. A very hard lesson to learn and acept. Judy you are a wonderful woman with alot to offer,you have expieranced both sides with this foot stuff. Being a spouse of one who had and being the victim of the horrible pain! Thanks for sharing and supporting those of us here!I have not been responding to board as much kinda taking a break as self piety , and pain sometimes overrules our thoughts and interferes with our ability to be useful or helpful to others.But for some reason this thread made a impact on me and I found I had to respond. Have a great day and give yourself a hug as you are not unusual in running thru the pain.

Re: Spousal support (judy)

JudyS on 1/24/02 at 13:58 (071142)

Ah Tammy, there goes my heart, dissolving! Thank you for your kind words. And thank you for being my IM 'guinea pig' yesterday while I was fooling around with my internet-capable cell phone! Sure am sorry I lost you but I'll have to contribute that to my learning stages!

Re: Spousal support

Kathy G on 1/24/02 at 17:13 (071157)

Dear Kerri,

You are truly between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, you want to be compassionate and caring and try to help your husband, but on the other, you feel angry and frustrated with him. You shouldn't feel guilty because I believe this is a natural reaction. My husband, luckily and I knock on my wooden head as I say this, has been healthy so far but I grew up with a mother who was very sickly. While our relationship was not the same as a spousal one, there are correlations. Despite the fact that I am a caring person, (I think!), there were times I wished I could be out doing the things that other kids did and maybe could have been the care-ee rather than the care-er. It's only natural.

As time goes by, you and he will fall into a new routine. I know my husband and I did. We, too, liked to shop together. Now, as my feet get better, we are doing it more. In the beginning, we hardly ever did and if we did,when my feet got too bad, I would simply leave him and go out in the car and read a book, do a crossword puzzle or simply listen to the radio, while he continued doing what he was doing. Once he came to realize that I really didn't resent it, it worked out just fine. My big problem was that I would get mad at him when he tried to get me things or try to save me some steps. It was very difficult to get used to if you've been an active person. I'll bet your husband is as frustrated as you are!

Keep reading these boards; and don't hesitate to post when feeling frustrated or you have a question. People here are so supportive! And give his feet and both of you time to fall into a new pattern until his feet feel better. By the way, maybe he shouldn't go food shopping with you until he feels beter. At first, before I made some progress, I found food shopping to be very, very painful. He may not feel ready to use one of those riding carts. It can be so hard to admit you've lost some of your independence!

Re: Spousal support

Suzanne D on 1/25/02 at 16:40 (071285)

Good advice here...When my feet started hurting so badly last summer, the family was always asking, 'Can't you go?', etc. It just hurt too much to walk through Wal-Mart, etc. If I stayed home I felt left out and they felt I wasn't trying - didn't understand how much pain I had. I started just going with them and then staying in the car, looking at a catalog, reading, listening to the radio. That seemed to help them think that I WAS trying, I was with them, but I didn't slow them down or go through more pain. Now, I go in sometimes, stay in the car sometimes depending on how I feel.

Re: Spousal support

Suzanne D on 1/25/02 at 16:42 (071287)

Tammie, I am sorry. Words CAN hurt; I know. And they hurt the worst when they come from those we love.

Come here for words of healing and hope, words of support and kindness.

Best wishes, my friend!

Re: Spousal support

paula on 1/25/02 at 16:49 (071291)

tammie, you always help others on this site. i hope you come here when you need help and spirit lifting.

Re: Spousal support

Julie on 1/26/02 at 02:26 (071347)

Tammie, you are the most amazing person. All your pain, and all the hurt you experience, all the impatience from those you love, seem to make you more compassionate, more patient, never bitter. It seems the less you're given, the more you give. Everyone who knows you must be the better for knowing you. I honour and salute you.

Re: No, Thank you to me

Tammie on 1/27/02 at 10:17 (071513)

Julie and others that have so many kind words.

I wish to express that there is no need to honour or salute me, as I give only what comes from my heart and hands! This was a gift from someone much greater then I , each day as I start, I thank the Lord for my good fortune , and also ask that he guide my heart and my hands to help others when I can and to give me the gift of Love , The gift of Love to reach out and help someone else. Anyone , anyone at all that may need a bit of love in there life . A comfort of a smile or a hug or a kind word. I also ask that he allow me to forgive and forget the unkind words or gestures or the thoughts of unkindness that I may have or recieve.The ability to forgive myself if I am not perfect and if I fail in my expectations for myself.

I end my day with special prayers for all of the people that may need him in there heart or lives. That may need a special prayer for healing either there hearts or there aflictions in there lives! To give strenghth and hope and courage to all that may need it and to thank him for helping me thru another uncertain day of my life,hoping that tomorrow will come and that again I may get through the day!

So Please do'nt thank me, as I am human and I am trying each day to pass on just a little bit of kindness to someone just as you are and many others! Our world is in great need of a little bit of kindness and maybe a touch of love for each other as there is more than enough hate and uncertany. Sorry as my spelling is atrocis, I know lol my family says I am hopeless without a spell checker . But I am sure you get my meanings! Hope that your days are sunny and brite and not among the dark and lonely.

Re: No, Thank you to me

Julie on 1/27/02 at 10:44 (071515)

OK, Tammie - I know what you mean and how you feel. And I agree. I salute you all the same. If that's ok.

Re: Spousal support

Carole C on 1/21/02 at 21:10 (070815)

The most important thing is to be patient and accept that he's telling the truth when he says it hurts of that he needs help. It really does. Also this can be expensive. Times like this either pull a couple apart, or bring them closer together.

Wish I had something wise to say!

Carole C

Re: Spousal support

wendyn on 1/21/02 at 21:17 (070817)

Kerri,

I know it's very difficult for people to understand.

It's impossible to understand how difficult it is to do simple things when you're pain is unbearable.

When my pain was really bad, I used to put my head down on my desk and cry after getting to my desk in the morning (no one could see me).

Please be patient, and read lots here...and know that he's NOT exaggerating or making it up.

The pain is real and it can be nasty.

Re: Spousal support

Suzanne D on 1/21/02 at 21:38 (070823)

The fact that you're asking for suggestions and coming here for help says a lot for you! As the others have said, read here to understand more and try your best to be patient. Understand that it is so hard for him - that he WANTS to go to the mall and window shop, etc. See if you can come up with something new for right now to do together like putting together a big jigsaw puzzle. That might sound corny, but he would see that you are making an effort to do something with him that did not involve walking, and he would appreciate that very much, I imagine.

Try to think about it this way when he asks for more water, etc.: the more steps you save him in those 'little trips', the more rest his feet will get and hopefully, the sooner he will show improvement.

I wish you both well! :-)

Re: Spousal support

nancy s. on 1/22/02 at 04:31 (070834)

hi kerri, it's great that you came here looking for ways to deal with this. my husband has the patience of a saint, but even he had times of exasperation with me early on in my 2 years of foot pain (i'm much better now) -- and occasionally later, too! it's very natural. ailments that change one's life as much as foot pain does are hard on the spouse as well as on the sufferer. patience is one of the main things that people with non-short bouts of foot pain inevitably have to learn, and the same goes for the people who live with them.

please do read scott's heel pain book (click on it at the top of the page). reading it was probably the most enlightening approach my husband took -- he learned a lot, and was much better able to understand and thus live with what i was going through.

also, has your husband read the heel pain book? has he looked at this website and the message boards? (there's one particularly for tarsal tunnel syndrome.) the support and advice of others here dealing with the same condition can make a world of difference; it sure did for me, and continues to, even though i'm back on my feet and walking again and doing most of the things i was able to do before my foot problems hit.

good luck to both of you. please keep posting here for any support or information you might need.
nancy

Re: Spousal support

JudyS on 1/22/02 at 10:42 (070866)

Kerri - I can't say how much I empathise with both you and your husband. Because foot pain is an invisible one, it's nearly impossible for friends and family of the victim to fully understand it's debilitating nature - both physically and emotionally.
You might want to ask your husband if he'll spend some time looking at this website, for starters. You'll both learn so much from it and many here attribute at least some of their progress to it.
I was, and still am, pretty lucky in that, not only is my husband patient and giving by nature anyway, he'd had PF and TTS a year or so before mine started so he understood completely.
Your task is clearly no less difficult than your husband's. Foot pain can be so life-altering - but that doesn't mean it's permanent! I think many here have found that the smartest thing to do in the initial stages is stay off the foot as much as possible. Getting a glass of water is one thing, but he shouldn't be shopping, etc. Also, some here have found that, if they'd followed their doctor's instructions to the letter right from the start, their foot problem would not have become chronic. I'm pretty sure I'm the one (perhaps the only one) here who is the most guilty of that. As a runner, ballplayer, etc., I was pretty sure I could just 'run through it' and it'd eventually go away. Biggest mistake I ever made.

It may help both of you quite a bit to fill us in on what's been done so far for him, his prognosis, etc. There are a few people here who have become quite expert in TTS, and there are contributing doctors here too.
But most of all, you'll find friends here from ALL walks of life. Foot problems absolutely do not discriminate - to the point that a typical sufferer really cannot be profiled.

Re: Spousal support

Julie on 1/23/02 at 05:03 (070946)

Kerri, the only thing I'd like to add to the good counsel the others have given you is this. I hear in your post a cry for help, because the person you have been able to depend upon now looks to you for strength and help. And probably you even feel angry at him for not being the active, self-sufficient person he used to be.

I think I know how you feel. I get into a state whenever my husband is ill; I find it frustrating and upsetting, and I find it very hard to be compassionate. So although yes, you are going to need to develop patience, and fortitude, and compassion for your husband, you're also going to have to acknowledge your own less laudable feelings, and forgive yourself for having them. It's quite natural. So don't be hard on yourself. But do take every opportunity to let him know that you still love him, even with his sore feet.

Do read the heel pain book. And keep coming to the website. Partners of people in pain need support too, and you'll get it here.

Re: Spousal support

john h on 1/24/02 at 11:01 (071121)

Over time the only people i have discovered really understand what PF does to you are people who have PF. How can you really explain how it effects your entire life? I no longer try and limit my discussions to this board or people who I encounter who have PF. Hopefully all our spouses and friends love and care for us but this is something most of them just cannot get their brains around for the long haul. It is not their fault because we look the same and their is no visable injury, We may get sympathy for a while but over years they tend to overlook our problem. I recognize that some of you probably have spouses and friends that do not fit this mould but I bet most of you face this problem. If you want sympathy and understanding you can always find it here.

Re: Spousal support

Tammie on 1/24/02 at 12:49 (071132)

I agree with all the wonderful words that have been said here .Kerri you are a wonderful spouse! You care enough about your hubby to look for answers to help him and to help yourself to deal with a condition that most cannot understand.It is very hard to be in both positions, one who has to watch the strong person crumble beneath the pain,and then oneday expierance it themselves on the other side of the coin.You are on a good road, to look for some help is to be comended.

I am not sure feet or foot pain is describable at times as you can not see anything to cause pain, but it is there every bit as much as a broken bone or a deep cut. My hubby has R arthritis, it was very hard for me to see him with this as it robbed him of alot including some emotional turmoil over his changes in his life and being still young. Now I have been delt this foot pain and after 2 sugeries and being no better am starting to think that it is a permenant thing I am learning how he must have been feeling.And he must be thinking like I was , and the comments he makes are very biting to me , cripple , it disgusts me to see you walk like that, I would amputate it if I had that pain,must be nice to sit around, if u did something,I know u cant go there as u are cripple,u choose to feel pain, mom it is your fault ,I could go on and on with terrible things family can hurt you with. Please remember even if you are so angry and hurt because you really want to do something and he says I cant or it is to much for me to keep the biting remarks to yourself till you can unleash your frustrations here or someplace that someone can help you really remember we do not choose this pain we do not choose to change your life as well as our own , and sometimes the things said can hurt as much as the pain itself.

I admire you for looking for ways to help and for ways for you to understand his pain. They need to have a support for spouses, and this is a wonderful site to learn all about what is happening ! I hope that your spouse comes here to get some support as this is pretty awful to deal with on your own! The physical pain equals the emotional pain sometimes .

Thank you for caring for him , he is a lucky man!!!!!!! You both will be fine. Sometimes our pride interfers with the obvious.

Re: Spousal support (judy)

Tammie on 1/24/02 at 13:03 (071137)

You are a delightful person. I wish you were not so hard on yourself as you are human. Life deals us all sorts of things to deal with, and sometimes we choose the wrong thing , well that is a lesson we learn and try not to repeat! Sometimes we fail ourselves because we think we are superhuman, and we can get thru it (in just a liitle time)So we keep going.Soon life teaches us the lesson that guess what? We are not super human and we can not keep going. There for we stop as we can not walk or move and Pain steps in to teach us this lesson. Still we might not listen to this lesson and we try with all our might to keep going, fianlly sending us to a Dr. as we can fight it no longer. We get some relief and think oh I can go again. Gee the lessons go on to teach us that in the end we will learn one way or another that our bodies will teach us to listen and we will have to learn to adjust our ways .

You should not blame yourself , or think you are alone as many of us most likly have done same or similar. For some reason some of us think we are super human and pain should not take us down, or cant take us down. A very hard lesson to learn and acept. Judy you are a wonderful woman with alot to offer,you have expieranced both sides with this foot stuff. Being a spouse of one who had and being the victim of the horrible pain! Thanks for sharing and supporting those of us here!I have not been responding to board as much kinda taking a break as self piety , and pain sometimes overrules our thoughts and interferes with our ability to be useful or helpful to others.But for some reason this thread made a impact on me and I found I had to respond. Have a great day and give yourself a hug as you are not unusual in running thru the pain.

Re: Spousal support (judy)

JudyS on 1/24/02 at 13:58 (071142)

Ah Tammy, there goes my heart, dissolving! Thank you for your kind words. And thank you for being my IM 'guinea pig' yesterday while I was fooling around with my internet-capable cell phone! Sure am sorry I lost you but I'll have to contribute that to my learning stages!

Re: Spousal support

Kathy G on 1/24/02 at 17:13 (071157)

Dear Kerri,

You are truly between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, you want to be compassionate and caring and try to help your husband, but on the other, you feel angry and frustrated with him. You shouldn't feel guilty because I believe this is a natural reaction. My husband, luckily and I knock on my wooden head as I say this, has been healthy so far but I grew up with a mother who was very sickly. While our relationship was not the same as a spousal one, there are correlations. Despite the fact that I am a caring person, (I think!), there were times I wished I could be out doing the things that other kids did and maybe could have been the care-ee rather than the care-er. It's only natural.

As time goes by, you and he will fall into a new routine. I know my husband and I did. We, too, liked to shop together. Now, as my feet get better, we are doing it more. In the beginning, we hardly ever did and if we did,when my feet got too bad, I would simply leave him and go out in the car and read a book, do a crossword puzzle or simply listen to the radio, while he continued doing what he was doing. Once he came to realize that I really didn't resent it, it worked out just fine. My big problem was that I would get mad at him when he tried to get me things or try to save me some steps. It was very difficult to get used to if you've been an active person. I'll bet your husband is as frustrated as you are!

Keep reading these boards; and don't hesitate to post when feeling frustrated or you have a question. People here are so supportive! And give his feet and both of you time to fall into a new pattern until his feet feel better. By the way, maybe he shouldn't go food shopping with you until he feels beter. At first, before I made some progress, I found food shopping to be very, very painful. He may not feel ready to use one of those riding carts. It can be so hard to admit you've lost some of your independence!

Re: Spousal support

Suzanne D on 1/25/02 at 16:40 (071285)

Good advice here...When my feet started hurting so badly last summer, the family was always asking, 'Can't you go?', etc. It just hurt too much to walk through Wal-Mart, etc. If I stayed home I felt left out and they felt I wasn't trying - didn't understand how much pain I had. I started just going with them and then staying in the car, looking at a catalog, reading, listening to the radio. That seemed to help them think that I WAS trying, I was with them, but I didn't slow them down or go through more pain. Now, I go in sometimes, stay in the car sometimes depending on how I feel.

Re: Spousal support

Suzanne D on 1/25/02 at 16:42 (071287)

Tammie, I am sorry. Words CAN hurt; I know. And they hurt the worst when they come from those we love.

Come here for words of healing and hope, words of support and kindness.

Best wishes, my friend!

Re: Spousal support

paula on 1/25/02 at 16:49 (071291)

tammie, you always help others on this site. i hope you come here when you need help and spirit lifting.

Re: Spousal support

Julie on 1/26/02 at 02:26 (071347)

Tammie, you are the most amazing person. All your pain, and all the hurt you experience, all the impatience from those you love, seem to make you more compassionate, more patient, never bitter. It seems the less you're given, the more you give. Everyone who knows you must be the better for knowing you. I honour and salute you.

Re: No, Thank you to me

Tammie on 1/27/02 at 10:17 (071513)

Julie and others that have so many kind words.

I wish to express that there is no need to honour or salute me, as I give only what comes from my heart and hands! This was a gift from someone much greater then I , each day as I start, I thank the Lord for my good fortune , and also ask that he guide my heart and my hands to help others when I can and to give me the gift of Love , The gift of Love to reach out and help someone else. Anyone , anyone at all that may need a bit of love in there life . A comfort of a smile or a hug or a kind word. I also ask that he allow me to forgive and forget the unkind words or gestures or the thoughts of unkindness that I may have or recieve.The ability to forgive myself if I am not perfect and if I fail in my expectations for myself.

I end my day with special prayers for all of the people that may need him in there heart or lives. That may need a special prayer for healing either there hearts or there aflictions in there lives! To give strenghth and hope and courage to all that may need it and to thank him for helping me thru another uncertain day of my life,hoping that tomorrow will come and that again I may get through the day!

So Please do'nt thank me, as I am human and I am trying each day to pass on just a little bit of kindness to someone just as you are and many others! Our world is in great need of a little bit of kindness and maybe a touch of love for each other as there is more than enough hate and uncertany. Sorry as my spelling is atrocis, I know lol my family says I am hopeless without a spell checker . But I am sure you get my meanings! Hope that your days are sunny and brite and not among the dark and lonely.

Re: No, Thank you to me

Julie on 1/27/02 at 10:44 (071515)

OK, Tammie - I know what you mean and how you feel. And I agree. I salute you all the same. If that's ok.