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just got out of the hospital and wanted to let laurie know that i was okay.

Posted by linda a on 2/08/02 at 18:29 (073086)

well the computer problem was solved by turning the computer on/off . apparently it went back to the default settings . just got out of the mental hospital for my depression ( bi-polar ) . no--- iam not totally over it . did some changing of the drugs that i take . one of my problems w/ depression is the fact that i no longer able to enjoy hiking and biking , like i did once before the p.f. problems . laurie and tammie have been truly a great friends by cheering me up . thank you for your support . and i thank the 'heelspurs.com chatters ' for also being here for me . linda ( Ky )

Re: just got out of the hospital and wanted to let laurie know that i was okay.

Suzanne D on 2/08/02 at 19:01 (073092)

I hope you feel better soon, Linda! Some change in our KY weather in the past few days, huh?! Snow on Wednesday and then almost 60 today! Take care of yourself. We are thinking of you! :-)

Re: just got out of the hospital and wanted to let laurie know that i was okay.

Tammie on 2/08/02 at 19:48 (073100)

I am happy to see you back on the board! It is good to know that you are still hanging tough as you have been given such challenges! I am a mazed at how well you handle all of it! Nice to know u are back! Take care and a hug for you our friend!

Re: thank you suzanne, tammie, and carmen for your support .

linda a on 2/08/02 at 22:09 (073107)

just finished a long hot soak in my claw bathtub to make me feel good . i was going to click on my computer when i notice a big red fire engine and ambulace stopping in front of my house . boy my mind was racing what could it be . i thought maybe a neighbor reported smoke from my house . then i was thinking maybe the mental hospital called them , because my phone line has been busy for a long time . when i went to the door the firemen that came up the sidewalk , said sorry they came to the wrong house . then they went two houses down from me . what a relief ! i remember the elderly lady had a fall several months ago ( broke her hip ), so now i wonder what happened at their house . that elderly couple tends to stay theirselves , so i don't have contact them . i had a n elderly lady for a roommate . she was always confused wondering where she was ( believed to had a stroke/ alzheimers ) everyday she would ask me was this her bed . i often would go get her some ice water and push her wheelchair . all the young people looked out for the elderly , because alot of times the staff was so busy . i was very proud of the young folks ( some of them were addicts trying to recover ) . i learned such a great deal from them . one time when i was in a state facility one of my friends said she would not visit me ,because of the ' riftraft ' . i told her they ( homeless to the addicts ) were no different from me and they too were so caring and supportive of me . i never look down on anyone , because i know one day it could happen to me . loose my job because of my illness . one person was in there when he walk off his job ( which was a very well high paid position ) and i was thinking i have those thoughts all the time . just getting up and quiting , but alot of time my counselor/ boss told me never to make a rash when i am in one of my states . i have a real anxiety of what is going to happen to me when i go back to work , because i did not call into work on monday ( slept all day because i had been drinking ) . i realized on tuesday that i needed help , so i decided to see my counselor . thank you for your morale support . linda ( Ky)

Re: sorry left off carole .

linda a on 2/08/02 at 22:15 (073109)

thank you also carole !

Re: To Linda A.

Necee on 2/09/02 at 10:29 (073131)

Hi Linda!
My Goodness you've had some rough times lately. I hope you know how much I enjoy reading your posts. I don't always get to respond to all of them, because if I did I'd never get anything else done. Please keep in touch with us all here, its the reaching out to others that gets us through our problems, and by you admitting that you need help and then seeking it is the first step to your recovery.
Please know that we are here for you, no matter how large or small the thought everyone shares something important, being with a good listener and with people who have love and genuine concern in their hearts is the best place to be.
Stay strong in your commitment to get well and know that I'm thinking about you, but most important I'm praying for you friend.
Happy Trails to you....
Necee

Re: Linda, I thought you would appreciate this little story...

Suzanne D on 2/09/02 at 11:31 (073142)

Linda, your comment about not looking down on anyone because of their circumstances made me think of my mother. Mama taught me always to respect each person and treat them with kindness. She always used that expression, 'There but by the grace of God go I'. She was well known through our little town for her kindness and helpfulness to everyone.

As in most small towns, there were a few well-known as being the 'odd characters' of the town. One such man was very poor and walked everywhere. He often wore bread sacks tied over his shoes. Mama told me as a child never to laugh at him as he probably never had many new shoes in his life, and even when someone gave him a new pair, he felt he had to take care of them this way. She said he probably had had a lot with holes in them, and his feet would get wet. She always spoke to him whenever we met him in town and called him 'Mr.'. I don't imagine he heard that too often.

She died one Christmas night years ago, and the day of the funeral was bitter cold with a little snow. One of my relatives looked out the window at the funeral home and said, 'Oh, my gosh, look who's coming up the sidewalk!' Of course you know who it was. Another said, 'What are we going to do?!' Normally I am not a real assertive person by nature, but there are times when I feel strongly enough about something that I speak up.

I looked at them and said, 'We are going to do what Mama would have done!' and I went to the door and said, 'Hello, Mr. _________. Thank you so much for coming; Mama thought a lot of you.'

He mumbled something nervously about how she was always nice to him. And I appreciated his walking on that cold day to come to the funeral home as much as I appreciated anything that was done at that time.

Well, I didn't mean to go on and on...or try to make myself look good. What you said just struck a chord with me and made me remember what I was always taught growing up and what I try to remember now. Thanks for the memories, and I hope you are feeling better today, Linda!!! :-)

Re: Linda, I thought you would appreciate this little story...

Carole C in NOLA on 2/09/02 at 14:20 (073158)

Oh Suzanne! What a poignant and moving story. It brought a tear to my eye. Thank you so much for writing about it.

Carole C

Re: hello suzanne ! i just got home from a busy day outside .

linda a on 2/09/02 at 20:49 (073208)

that was a lovely story that you shared w/ me . i knew that you sounded like a special person who did not judge others . i don't attend church on a regular basis , maybe about a good six times last year ,however i like to say i try to practice the christian way of life everyday . today i went to my grandmother's place to spend the day w/ her . today was my great-grandmother's b-day and usually my grandmother becomes a little depressed . great-grandmother died 2 yrs ago , she was 107 yrs old . i thought it would be nice to go by the mental hospital and drop off some of grandmother's magazines ( qty 20 )and some deck of cards . some of the elderly people would enjoy reading / looking at them . you see there wasn't many magazines directly in the unit . it was a nice 'springlike ' day in the louisville area . the mental hospital is located on a old miltary campus , kentucky military institute . i am glad they kept the old buildings . my counselor's office is located in the old science building . they have a nice pond on the grounds , so we feed the ducks . time to take a nice hot bath . see ya ! linda ( Ky)

Re: sorry for the triple message . having problems w/ computer

linda a on 2/09/02 at 21:00 (073209)

been having problems such as taking too long to receive and send messages . new hard drive w/ also new additional 128 mega bytes of ram for memory added to my 128 ram , so i don't know why it is taking so long to do anything . i must have hit the send button too many times . linda

Re: thank you necee for your prayers !!!!!

linda a on 2/09/02 at 21:04 (073210)

yes , i know what you mean about responding to everyone messages . i just enjoy reading the messages alot of the time . you all are too funny and keep my spirits up . take care my friends . linda

Re: just got out of the hospital and wanted to let laurie know that i was okay.

Laurie R on 2/09/02 at 22:33 (073216)

Dear Linda , Thank you so much for your kind words ... They made my day , if I can make anyone feel good that is the best feeling in the world to me ... I am so glad you got the help you needed . Remember we all need help from time to time .. It sounds like you have doctors that really care about you .
Remember we are here when you need us . Depression is something that is very hard to deal with .

You are a very cool lady Linda , you know I am always here for you , that is what friends are for .. You have helped me so much too....

Much love to you Linda and thank you for being such an awesome friend to me ....Laurie R

Re: laurie ---- you are too sweet .

linda a on 2/10/02 at 18:05 (073298)

everyone here have been great . i thank you for our special bond w/ the free e- cards . i love receiving them via the computer . it does make my day . take care my friend . linda(ky)

Re: laurie ---- you are too sweet .

Pam B on 2/11/02 at 17:18 (073370)

Hi Linda, my name is Pam and I can surely empathize with you about depression.....I too have been treated for this myself and my daughter in law is bi polar......she too has the same issues with meds......always changing them and trying to get her to feel good.....the meds for depression are tuff meds to take......so many side effects with so little results most of the time...I cant stand them and they just keep changing them so I quit taking them.....I know you cant just do that with bi polar....and to top it all off PF on top of that, my god you are a tuff cookie.....I cant even imagine because PF alone will throw you into a depression.....god bless you woman......if you ever need and ear....by all means email me.....I love making new friends....you take care and welcome home :)

Re: hello pam ! is this your first time posting . i haven't run across you rname .

linda a on 2/11/02 at 21:26 (073385)

pam--- thank you for your support . did you suffer the depression due to the foot pain or befor ethe foot problems ? besides the bipolar i also suffer from eating disorder . although i am up there in wt ( 180 lbs ) , i do not like taking meds that cause an increase in appetite . in december i did quit taking my meds . i was becoming more and more depressed about several differnt things ( wt & sexual attack in august ) . i was thinking maybe i could cause the mania to reappear and then i would be happy . i was still going thru the hypomania state , but nothing was really making me happy . everything caught up w/ me last weekend ,when i decided to drink to forget about my problems . i was big ' no show' at work on monday . when i woke up during the evening hrs , i knew i need help . but i really wasn't that honest in the hospital . i got really panicky over picking up the wt that i knew i needed to be out of the hospital . so , i lied on how i was feeling in order to be discharged from the hospital . it is kind of weird that i am telling you this , because i really don't trust too many people w/ my thoughts . i guess it is because i really don't know you . now i need to be honest w/ my counselor tomorrow . that will be hard for me . i just started seeing this person in sept and it usually takes me a long time to trust people . thank you pam for listening to me . linda ( Ky)

Re: just got out of the hospital and wanted to let laurie know that i was okay.

Suzanne D on 2/08/02 at 19:01 (073092)

I hope you feel better soon, Linda! Some change in our KY weather in the past few days, huh?! Snow on Wednesday and then almost 60 today! Take care of yourself. We are thinking of you! :-)

Re: just got out of the hospital and wanted to let laurie know that i was okay.

Tammie on 2/08/02 at 19:48 (073100)

I am happy to see you back on the board! It is good to know that you are still hanging tough as you have been given such challenges! I am a mazed at how well you handle all of it! Nice to know u are back! Take care and a hug for you our friend!

Re: thank you suzanne, tammie, and carmen for your support .

linda a on 2/08/02 at 22:09 (073107)

just finished a long hot soak in my claw bathtub to make me feel good . i was going to click on my computer when i notice a big red fire engine and ambulace stopping in front of my house . boy my mind was racing what could it be . i thought maybe a neighbor reported smoke from my house . then i was thinking maybe the mental hospital called them , because my phone line has been busy for a long time . when i went to the door the firemen that came up the sidewalk , said sorry they came to the wrong house . then they went two houses down from me . what a relief ! i remember the elderly lady had a fall several months ago ( broke her hip ), so now i wonder what happened at their house . that elderly couple tends to stay theirselves , so i don't have contact them . i had a n elderly lady for a roommate . she was always confused wondering where she was ( believed to had a stroke/ alzheimers ) everyday she would ask me was this her bed . i often would go get her some ice water and push her wheelchair . all the young people looked out for the elderly , because alot of times the staff was so busy . i was very proud of the young folks ( some of them were addicts trying to recover ) . i learned such a great deal from them . one time when i was in a state facility one of my friends said she would not visit me ,because of the ' riftraft ' . i told her they ( homeless to the addicts ) were no different from me and they too were so caring and supportive of me . i never look down on anyone , because i know one day it could happen to me . loose my job because of my illness . one person was in there when he walk off his job ( which was a very well high paid position ) and i was thinking i have those thoughts all the time . just getting up and quiting , but alot of time my counselor/ boss told me never to make a rash when i am in one of my states . i have a real anxiety of what is going to happen to me when i go back to work , because i did not call into work on monday ( slept all day because i had been drinking ) . i realized on tuesday that i needed help , so i decided to see my counselor . thank you for your morale support . linda ( Ky)

Re: sorry left off carole .

linda a on 2/08/02 at 22:15 (073109)

thank you also carole !

Re: To Linda A.

Necee on 2/09/02 at 10:29 (073131)

Hi Linda!
My Goodness you've had some rough times lately. I hope you know how much I enjoy reading your posts. I don't always get to respond to all of them, because if I did I'd never get anything else done. Please keep in touch with us all here, its the reaching out to others that gets us through our problems, and by you admitting that you need help and then seeking it is the first step to your recovery.
Please know that we are here for you, no matter how large or small the thought everyone shares something important, being with a good listener and with people who have love and genuine concern in their hearts is the best place to be.
Stay strong in your commitment to get well and know that I'm thinking about you, but most important I'm praying for you friend.
Happy Trails to you....
Necee

Re: Linda, I thought you would appreciate this little story...

Suzanne D on 2/09/02 at 11:31 (073142)

Linda, your comment about not looking down on anyone because of their circumstances made me think of my mother. Mama taught me always to respect each person and treat them with kindness. She always used that expression, 'There but by the grace of God go I'. She was well known through our little town for her kindness and helpfulness to everyone.

As in most small towns, there were a few well-known as being the 'odd characters' of the town. One such man was very poor and walked everywhere. He often wore bread sacks tied over his shoes. Mama told me as a child never to laugh at him as he probably never had many new shoes in his life, and even when someone gave him a new pair, he felt he had to take care of them this way. She said he probably had had a lot with holes in them, and his feet would get wet. She always spoke to him whenever we met him in town and called him 'Mr.'. I don't imagine he heard that too often.

She died one Christmas night years ago, and the day of the funeral was bitter cold with a little snow. One of my relatives looked out the window at the funeral home and said, 'Oh, my gosh, look who's coming up the sidewalk!' Of course you know who it was. Another said, 'What are we going to do?!' Normally I am not a real assertive person by nature, but there are times when I feel strongly enough about something that I speak up.

I looked at them and said, 'We are going to do what Mama would have done!' and I went to the door and said, 'Hello, Mr. _________. Thank you so much for coming; Mama thought a lot of you.'

He mumbled something nervously about how she was always nice to him. And I appreciated his walking on that cold day to come to the funeral home as much as I appreciated anything that was done at that time.

Well, I didn't mean to go on and on...or try to make myself look good. What you said just struck a chord with me and made me remember what I was always taught growing up and what I try to remember now. Thanks for the memories, and I hope you are feeling better today, Linda!!! :-)

Re: Linda, I thought you would appreciate this little story...

Carole C in NOLA on 2/09/02 at 14:20 (073158)

Oh Suzanne! What a poignant and moving story. It brought a tear to my eye. Thank you so much for writing about it.

Carole C

Re: hello suzanne ! i just got home from a busy day outside .

linda a on 2/09/02 at 20:49 (073208)

that was a lovely story that you shared w/ me . i knew that you sounded like a special person who did not judge others . i don't attend church on a regular basis , maybe about a good six times last year ,however i like to say i try to practice the christian way of life everyday . today i went to my grandmother's place to spend the day w/ her . today was my great-grandmother's b-day and usually my grandmother becomes a little depressed . great-grandmother died 2 yrs ago , she was 107 yrs old . i thought it would be nice to go by the mental hospital and drop off some of grandmother's magazines ( qty 20 )and some deck of cards . some of the elderly people would enjoy reading / looking at them . you see there wasn't many magazines directly in the unit . it was a nice 'springlike ' day in the louisville area . the mental hospital is located on a old miltary campus , kentucky military institute . i am glad they kept the old buildings . my counselor's office is located in the old science building . they have a nice pond on the grounds , so we feed the ducks . time to take a nice hot bath . see ya ! linda ( Ky)

Re: sorry for the triple message . having problems w/ computer

linda a on 2/09/02 at 21:00 (073209)

been having problems such as taking too long to receive and send messages . new hard drive w/ also new additional 128 mega bytes of ram for memory added to my 128 ram , so i don't know why it is taking so long to do anything . i must have hit the send button too many times . linda

Re: thank you necee for your prayers !!!!!

linda a on 2/09/02 at 21:04 (073210)

yes , i know what you mean about responding to everyone messages . i just enjoy reading the messages alot of the time . you all are too funny and keep my spirits up . take care my friends . linda

Re: just got out of the hospital and wanted to let laurie know that i was okay.

Laurie R on 2/09/02 at 22:33 (073216)

Dear Linda , Thank you so much for your kind words ... They made my day , if I can make anyone feel good that is the best feeling in the world to me ... I am so glad you got the help you needed . Remember we all need help from time to time .. It sounds like you have doctors that really care about you .
Remember we are here when you need us . Depression is something that is very hard to deal with .

You are a very cool lady Linda , you know I am always here for you , that is what friends are for .. You have helped me so much too....

Much love to you Linda and thank you for being such an awesome friend to me ....Laurie R

Re: laurie ---- you are too sweet .

linda a on 2/10/02 at 18:05 (073298)

everyone here have been great . i thank you for our special bond w/ the free e- cards . i love receiving them via the computer . it does make my day . take care my friend . linda(ky)

Re: laurie ---- you are too sweet .

Pam B on 2/11/02 at 17:18 (073370)

Hi Linda, my name is Pam and I can surely empathize with you about depression.....I too have been treated for this myself and my daughter in law is bi polar......she too has the same issues with meds......always changing them and trying to get her to feel good.....the meds for depression are tuff meds to take......so many side effects with so little results most of the time...I cant stand them and they just keep changing them so I quit taking them.....I know you cant just do that with bi polar....and to top it all off PF on top of that, my god you are a tuff cookie.....I cant even imagine because PF alone will throw you into a depression.....god bless you woman......if you ever need and ear....by all means email me.....I love making new friends....you take care and welcome home :)

Re: hello pam ! is this your first time posting . i haven't run across you rname .

linda a on 2/11/02 at 21:26 (073385)

pam--- thank you for your support . did you suffer the depression due to the foot pain or befor ethe foot problems ? besides the bipolar i also suffer from eating disorder . although i am up there in wt ( 180 lbs ) , i do not like taking meds that cause an increase in appetite . in december i did quit taking my meds . i was becoming more and more depressed about several differnt things ( wt & sexual attack in august ) . i was thinking maybe i could cause the mania to reappear and then i would be happy . i was still going thru the hypomania state , but nothing was really making me happy . everything caught up w/ me last weekend ,when i decided to drink to forget about my problems . i was big ' no show' at work on monday . when i woke up during the evening hrs , i knew i need help . but i really wasn't that honest in the hospital . i got really panicky over picking up the wt that i knew i needed to be out of the hospital . so , i lied on how i was feeling in order to be discharged from the hospital . it is kind of weird that i am telling you this , because i really don't trust too many people w/ my thoughts . i guess it is because i really don't know you . now i need to be honest w/ my counselor tomorrow . that will be hard for me . i just started seeing this person in sept and it usually takes me a long time to trust people . thank you pam for listening to me . linda ( Ky)