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I am starting to SHARE what PF is all around me...

Posted by Mahatmelissama on 4/08/02 at 22:34 (078886)

I am a pretty Spiritual person and felt that this bitterness I have about PF had to be dealt with. I mean I am a pretty upbeat person but I was diving into depression (and you all had to read my posts in here about that).

Well, I felt led to just start SHARING...telling people in my church, work...everywhere...that I can not stand for long, I must sit down.
Everyone reacts differently and it IS HARD to deal with that 'ARE YOU OK, MELISSA?' But man...I am getting treated like a princess by some people. They bring me everything and I don't have to get up at all. My family doesn't always take it seriously 'It's only 10 mintues, Melissa!!!' When I complain about being dragged to the store to help shop for Easter stuff...but people I don't know well or haven't seen for years (like this Saturday at a b-day part) fall all over themselves to help me.

I don't know how to really articulate this but to say my bitterness is getting better.

I feel that I used to be pretty uncompassionate toward's people's pain before I had PF since I was strong and fit (even though I struggle with my weight). Well, now I have much more compassion in my heart, it has really humbled me (and I will NEVER act like my family does to people). I had one friend who suffers from fibermyoliga (sp?) and smokes pot to relieve it. I sort of judged her illness to be in her head but didn't tell her that (and I thought a good excuse to get high). I can see now from suffering from PF that if pot helped me, God help me...I might have joined a pot club too!

What I am trying to say is while the phyical ailments are a pain...the depression I have stuggled with has really been the pits. If anyone is going through that all I can say is TALK ABOUT IT WITH YOUR FRIENDS and family (hopefully they will take you more seriously than mine does). It really helped me.

Dang...this is long...I had too much coffee, just made myself a latte at my brother's house (I am feeding his kids critters while they all are away). The coffee made me hyper.

If I didn't have PF, I would go walking for hours like I used to. I used to get my ya-yas out that way and not be such a motor-mouth (or motor-typist!)

;)

Re: I am starting to SHARE what PF is all around me...

john h on 4/09/02 at 09:33 (078912)

I would suspect that anyone who has had PF for any length of time and had their life altered drastically will experience depression/anxiety at some level. Many on the board have talked about it and it must be delt with one way or the other.

Re: I am starting to SHARE what PF is all around me...

Rich on 4/09/02 at 10:10 (078918)

Just wanted to share with you that I got the most stares from people in my own church. Before I was put in a cast, you couldn't tell by looking at me that I had a problem. When everyone else was standing during church, I was the only one sitting. I felt very self-conscious about it. But, I know that the Lord knows my feet hurt! Judge not, lest you be judged!!

Now that I have the cast on, you should see how many of those same people try to hold the door or direct me to a closer seat! Actually funny if you think about it! LOL

Watch out for that coffee...you should see my earlier post!! Never knew my fingers could talk faster than my mouth! LOL

Re: I am starting to SHARE what PF is all around me...

Suzanne D on 4/09/02 at 15:08 (078946)

Good for you, Melissa! Yes, depression is worse than the pain - as bad as that can be! And, if we can learn something through our struggles, if we become a better person because of them, if we have more compassion for others and more understanding, then the whole experience can ultimately bring about good in our lives! It sounds as if that is what is happening with you.

I wish for you healing and happiness.

Suzanne :-)

Re: I am starting to SHARE what PF is all around me...

Mahatmelissama on 4/09/02 at 18:35 (078969)

I am just starting too only recently. I come from a family of 'grin and bear it' and have done that to the point it is critical. I refuse to do that no more...hopefully others who may have the same attitude as I did will read this and get something out of it (and not 'grin and bear it' like I did!)

Re: I am starting to SHARE what PF is all around me...

Mahatmelissama on 4/09/02 at 18:38 (078972)

How are you doing with that cast? It is amazing...when you have something TANGIBLE to look at (a cast) that reads to the human eye 'PAIN HERE' people take you more seriously then if you limp along but otherwise look healthy.

I look healthy...I get old ladies telling me 'just walk half an hour a day and you'll lose weight' (I only let old ladies talk that way to me...anyone else I do not put up with that)...I don't bother to set them straight about PF and how I can not walk 1/2 hour a day without great pain right now.

Re: I am starting to SHARE what PF is all around me...

Mahatmelissama on 4/09/02 at 18:39 (078973)

Thanks Suzanne. Depression is worse then pain, AMEN!

I hope you heal too as well. May we both heal!

Re: Funniest thing....

Rich on 4/10/02 at 08:19 (079034)

The funniest thing about this cast....my dearest friends know all about my pain and limitations. And my hubby is enjoying a boost to our checking account, since my shopping days have decreased! My family checks up on me on a regular basis. Everyone has a small degree of knowledge of PF from reading the info I 'forced' on them.

BUT, when the pod put me in this cast (removalbe boot type), you would swear I had broken my leg. I get calls daily, offers to help around the house. My friends freak out if I stand or try to go outside on my patio! Eveyone wants to know how I feel constantly...I don't know which is worse, them not knowing or giving them something tangible to SEE!!!

Funny to me, anyway!!!

Re: I am starting to SHARE what PF is all around me...

john h on 4/09/02 at 09:33 (078912)

I would suspect that anyone who has had PF for any length of time and had their life altered drastically will experience depression/anxiety at some level. Many on the board have talked about it and it must be delt with one way or the other.

Re: I am starting to SHARE what PF is all around me...

Rich on 4/09/02 at 10:10 (078918)

Just wanted to share with you that I got the most stares from people in my own church. Before I was put in a cast, you couldn't tell by looking at me that I had a problem. When everyone else was standing during church, I was the only one sitting. I felt very self-conscious about it. But, I know that the Lord knows my feet hurt! Judge not, lest you be judged!!

Now that I have the cast on, you should see how many of those same people try to hold the door or direct me to a closer seat! Actually funny if you think about it! LOL

Watch out for that coffee...you should see my earlier post!! Never knew my fingers could talk faster than my mouth! LOL

Re: I am starting to SHARE what PF is all around me...

Suzanne D on 4/09/02 at 15:08 (078946)

Good for you, Melissa! Yes, depression is worse than the pain - as bad as that can be! And, if we can learn something through our struggles, if we become a better person because of them, if we have more compassion for others and more understanding, then the whole experience can ultimately bring about good in our lives! It sounds as if that is what is happening with you.

I wish for you healing and happiness.

Suzanne :-)

Re: I am starting to SHARE what PF is all around me...

Mahatmelissama on 4/09/02 at 18:35 (078969)

I am just starting too only recently. I come from a family of 'grin and bear it' and have done that to the point it is critical. I refuse to do that no more...hopefully others who may have the same attitude as I did will read this and get something out of it (and not 'grin and bear it' like I did!)

Re: I am starting to SHARE what PF is all around me...

Mahatmelissama on 4/09/02 at 18:38 (078972)

How are you doing with that cast? It is amazing...when you have something TANGIBLE to look at (a cast) that reads to the human eye 'PAIN HERE' people take you more seriously then if you limp along but otherwise look healthy.

I look healthy...I get old ladies telling me 'just walk half an hour a day and you'll lose weight' (I only let old ladies talk that way to me...anyone else I do not put up with that)...I don't bother to set them straight about PF and how I can not walk 1/2 hour a day without great pain right now.

Re: I am starting to SHARE what PF is all around me...

Mahatmelissama on 4/09/02 at 18:39 (078973)

Thanks Suzanne. Depression is worse then pain, AMEN!

I hope you heal too as well. May we both heal!

Re: Funniest thing....

Rich on 4/10/02 at 08:19 (079034)

The funniest thing about this cast....my dearest friends know all about my pain and limitations. And my hubby is enjoying a boost to our checking account, since my shopping days have decreased! My family checks up on me on a regular basis. Everyone has a small degree of knowledge of PF from reading the info I 'forced' on them.

BUT, when the pod put me in this cast (removalbe boot type), you would swear I had broken my leg. I get calls daily, offers to help around the house. My friends freak out if I stand or try to go outside on my patio! Eveyone wants to know how I feel constantly...I don't know which is worse, them not knowing or giving them something tangible to SEE!!!

Funny to me, anyway!!!