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Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Posted by Tammie on 4/09/02 at 16:54 (078959)

I just wanted to post that hubby is safe and sound at home tonight! A bit sore but that is to be expected.I had quite the chat with his ortho , which also was the one who I walked out on crying! He apoligised and in fact so did I . He said he really should have told me in a more sensitive way, but he also told me sometimes it is better to blurt it out and force the person to deal with it instead of believing all is well. He told me he in fact agrees with the choice of my next move the appt. with the pain management . He said that he felt that this will be very helpful to me learning to deal with this pain as it will be lifelong, That is the only thing that upset me again as those words lifelong I told him this. He again said I am really sorry but this is what i see, and no you might not have the same level of pain as today, but they will help you learn to deal with it and live your live to the fullest. But once again i will say I see this as a lifetime but a managed lifetime and this will be positive for you.

We both shook hands and said no hard feelings I laughed and told him I was angry with you as you could not give me the answers or the miracle I was searching for . I could not accept that then, he said I could tell and he said by the way how do u feel about that now, I said well I went online to this heelspur site told him about what it was and all the wonderful people and support and of course the wonderful Dr.s who help and give suggestions of what or where we might find the correct dr. for our area. I said they are good people they tried to help in all ways listening to me and then reasoning with me and then letting me get it out and rethink things! I said now I am comfortable with what you have told me, BUT i am not with a lifetime of this that you keep telling me, but I laughed and he said he understood! So I felt pretty good with my decisions! He also urged me to get my surgery records to take with me ! To keep a log of dailiy pains and things that intensify the pain and activities that I can do with out pain.

Now I have to worry about hubby as he is doubtful at this point that this will take care of the problem, he says he will know in about a months time if he will be able to go on with his knee or if he will need the replacement afterall. He said when he went in he did not like what he saw but he fixed the tear of the minimus, the acl torn he did not fix and he did not put screws in the fx. He was neet he took pics and showed me the damage and then showed me a perfect knee, he says hubbys is amazing that he was able to walk still, he had floating cartlidge also he removed he says that he believes was what prevented him from bending his knee. So after I have long winded this please thank u for the thoughts and prayers and can you keep him in your prayers for a full recovery and no knee replacement yet , he is hoping 3 more years or 5 at max. If he is lucky so I do hope he is! Thanks and heh have a great day!

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Laurie R on 4/09/02 at 18:16 (078967)

Dear Tammie , I am so glad everything turned out fine for your hubby . I think it is so great that you had a chance to talk to his Ortho . I think that made you feel so much better. I know sometimes it is so hard to deal with some things people say , and I agree he did not have to be so mean when he told you what he felt was wrong. Doctor or no doctor their are always two ways to say something that is not to good.... Now about him telling you lifelong , he could be wrong , this is just my opinion . I have an auntie that also has RSD in her feel . She has been a dance teacher her whole life. Her RSD is 99% better. So you can get better...It may take a long time ,but it can happen.

Hang in there , I sure know how hard it is to take care of your hubby after surgery . My hubby had surgery a few weeks ago . He fired me as his nurse on the way home from the hospital ....It was kind of funny .

Yes I have your hubby in my prayers and I hope he does not need a knee replacement .

Much love to you sweet lady , Laurie R

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Sharon W on 4/09/02 at 19:22 (078981)

Tammie,

I wrote you another message (below) but I just wanted to add, I'm SO glad to hear that the surgery went well and your hubby is fine. I'm sure you've been out of your mind with worry for him! I'm sorry, though, that this may not be your hubby's LAST knee surgery. At least once your hubby heals up he should be feeling better than he was before, and maybe as you say he won't need any more surgery for several years! I'm sure the prayers of everyone on this board will be with him tonight.

-- Sharon

Re: Hi

Tammie on 4/09/02 at 19:44 (078985)

Oh Laurie, you are one of the best things that came into my life and I feel very thankful for all of my friends here! I have thought often of what would have happened to me if not for this board and the wonderful angels such as yourself! My hubby is being pretty good tonight , the anesthesia is great he sleeps and wakes up for fluids he is drinking a lot.I am trying to help as much as I can!I can tell he feels vulnerable right now heheh he has to accept help this time haha!

Yes but I give this Dr. a lot of credit for apoligizing he did not have to do it but he did.Even if he was wonderful in the feet issues I still could not stay a patient with him as I can not handle not being heard or being told to grin and bare it and qoute'just walk on it ' 'Quit walking funny' Those were quotes from him and I cant work with him. But he did wish me well and he is wonderful to my hubby and if I had another ortho type need I might go to him for it, but not my feet. Dont worry I dont hear things u know , haha I know there is a chance I am trying to deal with things each day a little bit at a time! If I can get some of the pain away I will be happy, I was crawling on floor last night as I could honestly not walk. Today it was a bit easier but still the feeling is never gone, always there to remind me and I push on as much as I can tolerate! Well I am off now as I have to be a nurse tonight haha h I have a very important patient who is not very PATIENT haha. Love to you my friend and thanks for the support , Ps remember I have your surgery date reserved for the big guy upstairs and he has assured me that he is ready to give you back some of your life!

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Janet C on 4/09/02 at 20:55 (078998)

Dear Tammie,

I am glad to hear that your husband made it through his surgery, and is recovering at home now. I'll continue to pray for his healing. And I hope that you don't forget to take good care of yourself, too! Thank you for sharing the news!

Best Wishes! Your friend ~ Janet

Re: Hi

Laurie R on 4/09/02 at 21:51 (079004)

Tammie I forgot to mention in my last post that , I found it so wonderful that you reserved the good lord for your hubby today and for me on May 7 th . That really touched me , it did ... I like how you worded that ... Thank you for being such a wonderful friend to me .... I hope your hubby sleep all night and the pain does not get out of control... Any surgery is hard ,I have heard the knees can be very painful . Make sure he takes his pain meds before the pain gets bad ....

I am very sorry to hear your pain is bad , I sure know how you feel , somedays I just want to give up . I always think this has to get better. It seems like a lot of us here do a lot of waiting .... Or maybe since I do it just seems like a lot do also...

My best to you always Tammie , It will get better , It has to .....

Much love , Laurie R

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Necee on 4/09/02 at 22:30 (079010)

Tammie, so glad to know that your hubby's surgery was a success, and that he is home and on the mend.
I hope that you are taking care of yourself as well.
You are in my thoughts and prayers as always.
Love,
Necee

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Rich on 4/10/02 at 08:06 (079031)

Tammy, it's good to hear your husband came through his surgery fine. I pray for a quick recovery. My dad is facing knee replacement surgery in May. He had his other knee done last summer and began fishing and hunting again this past fall/winter. The PT is really rough, but he did everything he was supposed to and healed really well. He's about 60 and a very large man. The best thing about his lack of mobility, my mother was able to monitor his meals! He lost a good bit of weight, waiting for his three meals and approved snacks! Better tell your hubby to be nice to his nurse!

I am so sorry to hear your personal news, but am very proud of how you handled the situation with your doctor. No matter how good the doctor is, if you don't feel comfortable and confident with the manner in which you are treated (or spoken to), then it's time to end the relationship.

I lucked out with my pod on the first try. But I haven't always been this lucky....years ago I suffered a miscarraige (my first pregnancy) and my OB/GYN of several years kindly (?) advised me at the time that it happens ALL the time and MOST women just THINK that their cycle was late!!!!!!! Needless to say, it didn't take me long to find another doctor. Regardless of the truth of his statement, it was his smug attitude that I was being too emotional that really p----d me off!

Kudos to you for standing up for yourself. I pray the Lord will have mercy and deliver you a miracle healing! Never hurts to ask!!

Here's wishing you some sunshine in your life!!
Rich

Re: Thank u for sharing and thank you for the kind messages to all

Tammie on 4/10/02 at 08:23 (079035)

Oh that is so awful yes I think at that time a little bit of sensitvity was needed as that was a very devistating time for you or any body for that matter. I am so sorry that there are such lack of feelings in Dr.s and People for that matter. It is ok to be blunt and bold but it is ok to choose the time and method and add some hope and sensitvity with it. Hubby is being very good but soon he will be back to feeling better and will be cranky haha. We are much a like about hating to sit still or be off our feet.
Thank you very much for your prayers as that to me is very important! I am one that believes the power of prayers and am thankful I have the lord in my life! I also include each of our friends here and to all the people who are in search of relief in pain or emotional pain or loneliness in my prayers. I feel good about my starting to have some feelings of control in my care! That is thanks to the kindness that has been given to me here. PS I have alot of sunshine in my life this board is a big part with each of the angels here and my family here I am so very lucky. That is coming thru at this time. Hope that you have some sun in your life also

Re: Sunshine

Rich on 4/10/02 at 08:35 (079038)

I really think the weather plays a huge role in our attitudes/suffering/healing, etc.

Today is bright and sunny, the kids are gone, hubby is at work, it's just me, the computer, and the coffeepot and I'm doing just great!!

Prayers are free and I hear God answers kneemail!! LOL

Ok, I'm getting silly, time to turn off the coffeepot....

Re: Janet

Tammie on 4/10/02 at 09:42 (079045)

Janet, thank you for the prayers they are always welcome to me as I believe in them and I am not ashamed to say so! I have been blessed so many times over I sometimes think I dont deserve the many blessings i have recieved and then I whine about the pains LOL I am determined to take charge in my care and to be more assertive with the Dr.s who are treating me. I want to understand and I want them to tell me in 10 yr old language haha so that I am sure to understand it ! Janet I hope that things are going well for you I was very happy to hear that you won your case and you will get what you deserve! Take care and a hug for you as you to are a very special angel!

Re: Thank u for sharing and thank you for the kind messages to all

Sharon W on 4/10/02 at 10:06 (079049)

Tammie,

I think you handled that situation very well with the ortho, and I agree that since you feel so uncomfortable around him, you really should go to someone else if you need to see an ortho again.

I'm very impressed by your natural understanding of people, even with the Dr. who was so rude to you! When I worked in the hospital, I saw things that might surprise you -- doctors who would walk out of a patient's room with their eyes brimming with tears after 'giving the Bad News', eager to get away from there and get control of themselves. I think for many doctors it is the hardest thing they ever have to do in their jobs; none of them look forward to it and some of them really aren't very good at it! Not everyone has the talent for delicate diplomacy and the compassion for others that seems to come so naturally to you, Tammie...

-- Sharon

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

JudyS on 4/10/02 at 11:01 (079057)

Hey Tammy -kudos to you and your husband for marching right through the knee surgery. I've heard good things lately about the state of the 'art' of knee surgery and, even if he did (or does) need a knee replacement eventually, that surgery seems to have become miraculous.
And good for you for being frank with the Doc! You're impressive. It's quite nice, isn't it, when that kind of forthrightness can result in some good, understandable answers!

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Suzanne D on 4/10/02 at 12:46 (079072)

Dear Tammie,

I do hope your husband is continuing to get along well now that he is at home. I'm glad you were able to have that talk with the doctor as it helped to clear the air and make you feel somewhat better - except for that 'lifetime' comment.

You hang in there! You have made many strides since I have known you the past 10 months! I am pulling for you!

Suzanne :-)

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Carole C in NOLA on 4/11/02 at 13:06 (079269)

I'm so glad your husband is fine! And the chat with his ortho sounds like it was a big stress reliever too.

I am so sorry that you have to wait so long for the pain management appointment. Just baby those feet, and let heelspurs.com be your lifeline! The time will pass faster that way.

(hugs)

Carole C

Re: Welcome Back Carole

Tammie on 4/11/02 at 13:12 (079272)

I am happy to see you have returned to your home safe and sound! I hope that your feet are not to worse for wear! I am very happy to read your posts you have a great way of contributing excellent advice! Welcome home!I am sticking close to the board! Really I am trying to muster my nerve into getting my records from my pod who did my surgery. I have no guts! I finally worked up my courage to get them from this ortho I seen including the results of xrays!I thought what they write is very interesting! But really could not read all as man Dr. writes so bad I had to squint and decipher what I could. Now lets see I am thinking about faxing a letter to my pod to ask for my records is that a hoot a grown woman and I have to be frightened of nothing as what can they do ? But that is me and something I must overcome.Take care

Re: Welcome Back Carole

Carole C in NOLA on 4/11/02 at 13:45 (079284)

Thanks, Tammie! My feet feel fine, or at least no worse than they were before (pain level 1).

Sometimes when I have no guts, I pretend that I'm someone who does. I guess some people would call that whistling in the dark, but it works! Just pretend you are a pushy broad that won't take any baloney from the pod's office, and get those records. :)

I know how you feel, though. My natural inclinations are to sit back and do as I'm told and be sweet. But sometimes it's necessary to get assertive like that and to get a little, shall we say, 'firm'. LOL

Carole C

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Laurie R on 4/09/02 at 18:16 (078967)

Dear Tammie , I am so glad everything turned out fine for your hubby . I think it is so great that you had a chance to talk to his Ortho . I think that made you feel so much better. I know sometimes it is so hard to deal with some things people say , and I agree he did not have to be so mean when he told you what he felt was wrong. Doctor or no doctor their are always two ways to say something that is not to good.... Now about him telling you lifelong , he could be wrong , this is just my opinion . I have an auntie that also has RSD in her feel . She has been a dance teacher her whole life. Her RSD is 99% better. So you can get better...It may take a long time ,but it can happen.

Hang in there , I sure know how hard it is to take care of your hubby after surgery . My hubby had surgery a few weeks ago . He fired me as his nurse on the way home from the hospital ....It was kind of funny .

Yes I have your hubby in my prayers and I hope he does not need a knee replacement .

Much love to you sweet lady , Laurie R

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Sharon W on 4/09/02 at 19:22 (078981)

Tammie,

I wrote you another message (below) but I just wanted to add, I'm SO glad to hear that the surgery went well and your hubby is fine. I'm sure you've been out of your mind with worry for him! I'm sorry, though, that this may not be your hubby's LAST knee surgery. At least once your hubby heals up he should be feeling better than he was before, and maybe as you say he won't need any more surgery for several years! I'm sure the prayers of everyone on this board will be with him tonight.

-- Sharon

Re: Hi

Tammie on 4/09/02 at 19:44 (078985)

Oh Laurie, you are one of the best things that came into my life and I feel very thankful for all of my friends here! I have thought often of what would have happened to me if not for this board and the wonderful angels such as yourself! My hubby is being pretty good tonight , the anesthesia is great he sleeps and wakes up for fluids he is drinking a lot.I am trying to help as much as I can!I can tell he feels vulnerable right now heheh he has to accept help this time haha!

Yes but I give this Dr. a lot of credit for apoligizing he did not have to do it but he did.Even if he was wonderful in the feet issues I still could not stay a patient with him as I can not handle not being heard or being told to grin and bare it and qoute'just walk on it ' 'Quit walking funny' Those were quotes from him and I cant work with him. But he did wish me well and he is wonderful to my hubby and if I had another ortho type need I might go to him for it, but not my feet. Dont worry I dont hear things u know , haha I know there is a chance I am trying to deal with things each day a little bit at a time! If I can get some of the pain away I will be happy, I was crawling on floor last night as I could honestly not walk. Today it was a bit easier but still the feeling is never gone, always there to remind me and I push on as much as I can tolerate! Well I am off now as I have to be a nurse tonight haha h I have a very important patient who is not very PATIENT haha. Love to you my friend and thanks for the support , Ps remember I have your surgery date reserved for the big guy upstairs and he has assured me that he is ready to give you back some of your life!

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Janet C on 4/09/02 at 20:55 (078998)

Dear Tammie,

I am glad to hear that your husband made it through his surgery, and is recovering at home now. I'll continue to pray for his healing. And I hope that you don't forget to take good care of yourself, too! Thank you for sharing the news!

Best Wishes! Your friend ~ Janet

Re: Hi

Laurie R on 4/09/02 at 21:51 (079004)

Tammie I forgot to mention in my last post that , I found it so wonderful that you reserved the good lord for your hubby today and for me on May 7 th . That really touched me , it did ... I like how you worded that ... Thank you for being such a wonderful friend to me .... I hope your hubby sleep all night and the pain does not get out of control... Any surgery is hard ,I have heard the knees can be very painful . Make sure he takes his pain meds before the pain gets bad ....

I am very sorry to hear your pain is bad , I sure know how you feel , somedays I just want to give up . I always think this has to get better. It seems like a lot of us here do a lot of waiting .... Or maybe since I do it just seems like a lot do also...

My best to you always Tammie , It will get better , It has to .....

Much love , Laurie R

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Necee on 4/09/02 at 22:30 (079010)

Tammie, so glad to know that your hubby's surgery was a success, and that he is home and on the mend.
I hope that you are taking care of yourself as well.
You are in my thoughts and prayers as always.
Love,
Necee

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Rich on 4/10/02 at 08:06 (079031)

Tammy, it's good to hear your husband came through his surgery fine. I pray for a quick recovery. My dad is facing knee replacement surgery in May. He had his other knee done last summer and began fishing and hunting again this past fall/winter. The PT is really rough, but he did everything he was supposed to and healed really well. He's about 60 and a very large man. The best thing about his lack of mobility, my mother was able to monitor his meals! He lost a good bit of weight, waiting for his three meals and approved snacks! Better tell your hubby to be nice to his nurse!

I am so sorry to hear your personal news, but am very proud of how you handled the situation with your doctor. No matter how good the doctor is, if you don't feel comfortable and confident with the manner in which you are treated (or spoken to), then it's time to end the relationship.

I lucked out with my pod on the first try. But I haven't always been this lucky....years ago I suffered a miscarraige (my first pregnancy) and my OB/GYN of several years kindly (?) advised me at the time that it happens ALL the time and MOST women just THINK that their cycle was late!!!!!!! Needless to say, it didn't take me long to find another doctor. Regardless of the truth of his statement, it was his smug attitude that I was being too emotional that really p----d me off!

Kudos to you for standing up for yourself. I pray the Lord will have mercy and deliver you a miracle healing! Never hurts to ask!!

Here's wishing you some sunshine in your life!!
Rich

Re: Thank u for sharing and thank you for the kind messages to all

Tammie on 4/10/02 at 08:23 (079035)

Oh that is so awful yes I think at that time a little bit of sensitvity was needed as that was a very devistating time for you or any body for that matter. I am so sorry that there are such lack of feelings in Dr.s and People for that matter. It is ok to be blunt and bold but it is ok to choose the time and method and add some hope and sensitvity with it. Hubby is being very good but soon he will be back to feeling better and will be cranky haha. We are much a like about hating to sit still or be off our feet.
Thank you very much for your prayers as that to me is very important! I am one that believes the power of prayers and am thankful I have the lord in my life! I also include each of our friends here and to all the people who are in search of relief in pain or emotional pain or loneliness in my prayers. I feel good about my starting to have some feelings of control in my care! That is thanks to the kindness that has been given to me here. PS I have alot of sunshine in my life this board is a big part with each of the angels here and my family here I am so very lucky. That is coming thru at this time. Hope that you have some sun in your life also

Re: Sunshine

Rich on 4/10/02 at 08:35 (079038)

I really think the weather plays a huge role in our attitudes/suffering/healing, etc.

Today is bright and sunny, the kids are gone, hubby is at work, it's just me, the computer, and the coffeepot and I'm doing just great!!

Prayers are free and I hear God answers kneemail!! LOL

Ok, I'm getting silly, time to turn off the coffeepot....

Re: Janet

Tammie on 4/10/02 at 09:42 (079045)

Janet, thank you for the prayers they are always welcome to me as I believe in them and I am not ashamed to say so! I have been blessed so many times over I sometimes think I dont deserve the many blessings i have recieved and then I whine about the pains LOL I am determined to take charge in my care and to be more assertive with the Dr.s who are treating me. I want to understand and I want them to tell me in 10 yr old language haha so that I am sure to understand it ! Janet I hope that things are going well for you I was very happy to hear that you won your case and you will get what you deserve! Take care and a hug for you as you to are a very special angel!

Re: Thank u for sharing and thank you for the kind messages to all

Sharon W on 4/10/02 at 10:06 (079049)

Tammie,

I think you handled that situation very well with the ortho, and I agree that since you feel so uncomfortable around him, you really should go to someone else if you need to see an ortho again.

I'm very impressed by your natural understanding of people, even with the Dr. who was so rude to you! When I worked in the hospital, I saw things that might surprise you -- doctors who would walk out of a patient's room with their eyes brimming with tears after 'giving the Bad News', eager to get away from there and get control of themselves. I think for many doctors it is the hardest thing they ever have to do in their jobs; none of them look forward to it and some of them really aren't very good at it! Not everyone has the talent for delicate diplomacy and the compassion for others that seems to come so naturally to you, Tammie...

-- Sharon

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

JudyS on 4/10/02 at 11:01 (079057)

Hey Tammy -kudos to you and your husband for marching right through the knee surgery. I've heard good things lately about the state of the 'art' of knee surgery and, even if he did (or does) need a knee replacement eventually, that surgery seems to have become miraculous.
And good for you for being frank with the Doc! You're impressive. It's quite nice, isn't it, when that kind of forthrightness can result in some good, understandable answers!

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Suzanne D on 4/10/02 at 12:46 (079072)

Dear Tammie,

I do hope your husband is continuing to get along well now that he is at home. I'm glad you were able to have that talk with the doctor as it helped to clear the air and make you feel somewhat better - except for that 'lifetime' comment.

You hang in there! You have made many strides since I have known you the past 10 months! I am pulling for you!

Suzanne :-)

Re: Hubby fine , and I had nice chat with his ortho

Carole C in NOLA on 4/11/02 at 13:06 (079269)

I'm so glad your husband is fine! And the chat with his ortho sounds like it was a big stress reliever too.

I am so sorry that you have to wait so long for the pain management appointment. Just baby those feet, and let heelspurs.com be your lifeline! The time will pass faster that way.

(hugs)

Carole C

Re: Welcome Back Carole

Tammie on 4/11/02 at 13:12 (079272)

I am happy to see you have returned to your home safe and sound! I hope that your feet are not to worse for wear! I am very happy to read your posts you have a great way of contributing excellent advice! Welcome home!I am sticking close to the board! Really I am trying to muster my nerve into getting my records from my pod who did my surgery. I have no guts! I finally worked up my courage to get them from this ortho I seen including the results of xrays!I thought what they write is very interesting! But really could not read all as man Dr. writes so bad I had to squint and decipher what I could. Now lets see I am thinking about faxing a letter to my pod to ask for my records is that a hoot a grown woman and I have to be frightened of nothing as what can they do ? But that is me and something I must overcome.Take care

Re: Welcome Back Carole

Carole C in NOLA on 4/11/02 at 13:45 (079284)

Thanks, Tammie! My feet feel fine, or at least no worse than they were before (pain level 1).

Sometimes when I have no guts, I pretend that I'm someone who does. I guess some people would call that whistling in the dark, but it works! Just pretend you are a pushy broad that won't take any baloney from the pod's office, and get those records. :)

I know how you feel, though. My natural inclinations are to sit back and do as I'm told and be sweet. But sometimes it's necessary to get assertive like that and to get a little, shall we say, 'firm'. LOL

Carole C