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some of you ask.....& thanks

Posted by kay on 4/28/02 at 19:32 (081508)

some of you ask in a post below for my history with pf. i posted it but it quickly got lost. so i cut and pasted it below. but before i go i wanted to thank you all for your kind words. i get so scared sometimes that i will never get better. thanks again.
kay

i started having heel pain 20 some odd years ago. i was a stay at home mom so i ignored it. it wasn't really bad. when my children got older i went to work part time and then later full time in a factory. feet got worse as time went by. finally about five years ago i went to a pod. i was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis. i tried stretching NSAID drugs, ultra sound,cortizone injections, p.t., ice, you name i did it. finally i had the endoscopic surgery. complete failure. i was off work for nearly four months. i finally gave up and went back to work. the pod told me if it didn't get better with time to call him and he'd set me up with an ortho who specializes in feet. so here i am five years later. i worked until my feet are so bad i cannot be on my feet at all without terrible pain. i went to the specialist and he tried the night splints on me. now i am in a cast on my right foot. it will be six weeks monday and i get it off. i can tell that it hasn't helped at all. when i do nothing my foot still hurts and burns. i told the doc my history and how i feel when i first went there. i take votaren and ultram and tylenoh. yes i suppose i need something for depression. for the first time in my life i am dealing with it. i have never been one to sit and feel sorry for myself but now i am. i can't help it. i read all the bad reports here and i am scared i won't be able to be 'fixed'. hubby tells me not to worry because i can get on disability. i nearly started to cry when he said that. i want to work. i don't want to sit around like a helpless, worthless thing. i am fighting to not gain anymore weight. i also suffer from fibromyalgia. it is nothing compared to my feet pain.
kay

Re: some of you ask.....& thanks

Pam B on 4/28/02 at 19:45 (081514)

Hey Kay, I am so sorry for your feelings of hopelessness......I know how you feel.....sometimes the worst part is accepting the pain and the way our lives change......but never lose hope......I know it is hard when your feet hurt so bad you dont think you can get up sometimes.......but you have to be positive and god knows I know that is hard to do sometimes......I just went through a bad week myself and I too felt like you do.....but each day is a new day......I advise you to talk to your doc about your feelings.....he/she can prescribe something for you to help you cope with those feelings.....I just started wellbutrin a few weeks ago and can tell you that they do help me.....I find that when my mind is feeling positive, my body responds by feeling better......stress knots your entire body up and makes all your pain worse......at first I was not happy about the anti depressents, but I have now accepted that fact that I need a little help right now......I had surgery for PF in Feb and I am going to an ankle specialist tomorrow because now I am having other problems even though my heel feels better....even though a few days ago I felt pretty much like you are feeling now, I think the meds are helping me to grab hold of my hope again.....and these people here are the most wonderful group of people I have ever had to totally understand my frustration......so you are in the right place and we are all here for you whenever you want to vent......venting is a good thing :) if you ever need to email someone, please feel free to email me at (email removed)......I always have time to listen.....good luck to you and know that there is always a little sunshine at the end of every storm :)

Re: some of you ask.....& thanks

nancy s. on 4/28/02 at 22:01 (081536)

kay, have you thought seriously about doing a different kind of work -- something that would take you off your feet? or can you do some training or schooling to qualify for some kind of sit-down job? you've had pf for a long time, and waited a long time to get help for it (if i read you right -- 5 years?); i think, with your history, that you still need to keep trying to find the right combo of conservative treatments to help you (have you looked into eswt? i don't know if you'd be a candidate, but it's worth looking into.) and your history tells me that you should probably be looking for ways to diminish your pain with the idea that you'll learn to 'manage' your pf -- you'll change your lifestyle, and develop one that is foot-friendly and allows you to take the best possible care of your feet. what shoes do you wear? have you tried a good pair of custom orthotics from a pedorthist?

this month is my third year with pf (and a few other tendonitises to go with it). i finally feel much better, and i can walk and i can work, but i'm reluctant to use the word 'cured.' i feel my feet are vulnerable to these conditions and that i'll have to 'manage' my feet for the rest of my life -- not overdo it, wear the right shoes (birkenstocks for me, usually), ice and elevate in the evening when i overdo it anyway, and so on. i now work (and play, for that matter) differently because of the need to manage my feet. but most days life feels downright thrilling to me, both because i'm better (not perfect) and because i made some changes in my life that renewed me.

when i first got this, the idea of 'managing' my feet was extremely depressing to me. i didn't want to have to think about them for the rest of my life, not to mention have pain for the rest of my life. but now, after years of nightmare, i'm thrilled with the improvement and i don't care one bit that i have to manage my feet (most days).

i know you have yet to see improvement, but don't give up. you must keep trying, because the right thing or the right time may be just around the corner -- you can't know. what ends up helping you the most may be something you tried years ago, and it didn't work then but will help in the future. everything changes constantly, including our feet and what helps and what doesn't.

you've had a rough time of it, that's for sure, but you can still make a good life for yourself, no matter what you have to deal with -- it's kind of an odd combo of accepting and fighting, i think. you CAN make another good life for yourself -- believe it.

don't be scared by scary stories here. most everyone here who is much better or is getting better had long times of scary stories -- but, like i said, things change. i probably sounded like a hopeless case a year and a half ago, because that's how i felt (and for another year and a half before that). now my story is very different. everyone else's story changes too, so don't etch what people are going through today into your mind as a permanent thing. it's not true of others, and it's not true of yourself.
nancy

Re: some of you ask.....& thanks

Pam B on 4/28/02 at 19:45 (081514)

Hey Kay, I am so sorry for your feelings of hopelessness......I know how you feel.....sometimes the worst part is accepting the pain and the way our lives change......but never lose hope......I know it is hard when your feet hurt so bad you dont think you can get up sometimes.......but you have to be positive and god knows I know that is hard to do sometimes......I just went through a bad week myself and I too felt like you do.....but each day is a new day......I advise you to talk to your doc about your feelings.....he/she can prescribe something for you to help you cope with those feelings.....I just started wellbutrin a few weeks ago and can tell you that they do help me.....I find that when my mind is feeling positive, my body responds by feeling better......stress knots your entire body up and makes all your pain worse......at first I was not happy about the anti depressents, but I have now accepted that fact that I need a little help right now......I had surgery for PF in Feb and I am going to an ankle specialist tomorrow because now I am having other problems even though my heel feels better....even though a few days ago I felt pretty much like you are feeling now, I think the meds are helping me to grab hold of my hope again.....and these people here are the most wonderful group of people I have ever had to totally understand my frustration......so you are in the right place and we are all here for you whenever you want to vent......venting is a good thing :) if you ever need to email someone, please feel free to email me at (email removed)......I always have time to listen.....good luck to you and know that there is always a little sunshine at the end of every storm :)

Re: some of you ask.....& thanks

nancy s. on 4/28/02 at 22:01 (081536)

kay, have you thought seriously about doing a different kind of work -- something that would take you off your feet? or can you do some training or schooling to qualify for some kind of sit-down job? you've had pf for a long time, and waited a long time to get help for it (if i read you right -- 5 years?); i think, with your history, that you still need to keep trying to find the right combo of conservative treatments to help you (have you looked into eswt? i don't know if you'd be a candidate, but it's worth looking into.) and your history tells me that you should probably be looking for ways to diminish your pain with the idea that you'll learn to 'manage' your pf -- you'll change your lifestyle, and develop one that is foot-friendly and allows you to take the best possible care of your feet. what shoes do you wear? have you tried a good pair of custom orthotics from a pedorthist?

this month is my third year with pf (and a few other tendonitises to go with it). i finally feel much better, and i can walk and i can work, but i'm reluctant to use the word 'cured.' i feel my feet are vulnerable to these conditions and that i'll have to 'manage' my feet for the rest of my life -- not overdo it, wear the right shoes (birkenstocks for me, usually), ice and elevate in the evening when i overdo it anyway, and so on. i now work (and play, for that matter) differently because of the need to manage my feet. but most days life feels downright thrilling to me, both because i'm better (not perfect) and because i made some changes in my life that renewed me.

when i first got this, the idea of 'managing' my feet was extremely depressing to me. i didn't want to have to think about them for the rest of my life, not to mention have pain for the rest of my life. but now, after years of nightmare, i'm thrilled with the improvement and i don't care one bit that i have to manage my feet (most days).

i know you have yet to see improvement, but don't give up. you must keep trying, because the right thing or the right time may be just around the corner -- you can't know. what ends up helping you the most may be something you tried years ago, and it didn't work then but will help in the future. everything changes constantly, including our feet and what helps and what doesn't.

you've had a rough time of it, that's for sure, but you can still make a good life for yourself, no matter what you have to deal with -- it's kind of an odd combo of accepting and fighting, i think. you CAN make another good life for yourself -- believe it.

don't be scared by scary stories here. most everyone here who is much better or is getting better had long times of scary stories -- but, like i said, things change. i probably sounded like a hopeless case a year and a half ago, because that's how i felt (and for another year and a half before that). now my story is very different. everyone else's story changes too, so don't etch what people are going through today into your mind as a permanent thing. it's not true of others, and it's not true of yourself.
nancy