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RANT

Posted by Mahatmelissama on 6/06/02 at 14:55 (086559)

I know y'all may be sick of my lamenting...but I must get this out of my system...

NOBODY UNDERSTANDS! NOBODY GETS 'THE WAY' OF THE FOLLOWING FOR PF:
1) 10 minutes at Safeway/Alberstons/Trader Joes is 10 minutes of excruiating pain-pain-pain charley horses fainting PAIN
2) Bar-be-ques involved STANDING. If you sit all night, people don't tlak to you as much and you are 'a loner'. This makes you very very tired since you are in PAIN-PAIN-PAIN since you stand/sit/stand/sit...
3) You can only do some of these blessed events or wear out. 2 in a row is too much for me...I bow out of going and people are all 'why? why...c'mon!'
4) Cooking is painful since again, it invoves STANDING A LOT. I even have a high stool and THAT DOES NOT HELP...it aggravates PF TOO and lower back
5) WALKING even 10 mintues can injure your feet!
6) Riding a sitting room bike can HURT your feet!
7) If you really want to give me advice on how-to-lose-weight, excersize, etc...then TAKE THE DARN TIME TO READ UP ON MY CONDITION (PF) OR SHUT UP!!!
Don't be surprised if I chew you out..pain makes me irritable and people giving me yet more unsolicited advice really p-- me off.

Thanks for listening. I feel better now. :)

Re: You are SO RIGHT!!!!!!

Carole C in NOLA on 6/06/02 at 15:36 (086566)

Melissa, you are SO RIGHT!!! And by the way, with you being in that level of pain I think you should NOT be going to Safeway/Albertsons/Trader Joes AT ALL. You may have responsibilities that I don't have, but if you are going to the grocery store when it's agony for 10 minutes, you are abusing your feet and if there are people who could be helping you, they are being horrid. At least, that is my opinion.

Easy for me to say, because I live alone so I was able to just go to drive-throughs and eat what was in the cupboard and what I could manage to buy before the excruciating pain started.

I didn't go to my office Christmas party. I told them I went last year, and that I would go next year, but this year I wasn't going to go. I didn't even give them a reason. If someone insists that you attend a BBQ, maybe you could insist that they sit with you and not leave your side throughout the whole BBQ. That might make them think twice!

On the exercise and weight loss thing, the only thing I've found that stops the 'helpful suggestions' is to very firmly tell them that my doctor wants me to do 'xyz' and not 'abc', thank you very much. They may think I'm a total idiot but they can't argue with my doctor.

People can be so thoughtless!

Carole C

Re: no worries, i use online groceries ;) eom

Mahatmelissama on 6/06/02 at 16:51 (086583)

.

Re: That's right, I forgot!!!!! oops LOL (eom)

Carole C in NOLA on 6/06/02 at 17:44 (086590)

.

Re: RANT

Missy B on 6/06/02 at 19:31 (086597)

I know exactly what you are saying. Before I had my surgery, some of my friends and co-workers just thought I was being over-melodramatic with my foot pain. Many began to think it was just a convenient excuse not to do something. And when I made the decision to have surgery, well, some thought I was just looking for a way to get 3 months off from work. Like anyone in their right mind would choose foot surgery just for some time off. Those who have never suffered from the agony of foot pain just have no idea what those of us who do must endure everyday of our lives. It's not like you can take 2 aspirin and it will go away. Missy B.

Re: RANT

Suzanne D on 6/06/02 at 19:35 (086598)

Dear Melissa,

I am sorry you are feeling frustrated and upset by people's reactions. Here is something that helped me; I thought I would just share it with you. When I accepted the fact that no one was really going to understand (other than the people at Heelspurs.com!) how badly my feet hurt, and consequently no one was going to give me the sympathy and understanding I longed for, I stopped looking for it. When I stopped looking for the understanding and sympathy, I stopped being so disappointed and frustrated by others' reactions.

Whenever it has gotten too much for me, I have posted here, and someone has always kindly responded. Then I could pick myself back up and go on again.

The rest of the time, I have concentrated on reaching out to others as I do care and understand when others are hurting. I have concentrated on my work as a teacher and my family and friends. And if I can't do something, I just don't - no matter if others understand or not.

Did this make the pain go away? No. Did it stop me from being upset about that? No; not entirely, but it has helped me to cope and not get down about it.

Now I hasten to say that I know MANY are in more pain than I have ever been in, and I don't for a minute think I have the answers, but I wanted to share what has helped me.

I DO care and understand how you feel!

Suzanne :-)

Re: RANT

Missy B on 6/06/02 at 22:55 (086624)

Suzanne - great attitude and great advice; thanks for sharing with us.
Missy B.

Re: Suzanne...

Valerie S on 6/07/02 at 07:07 (086630)

You continue to be such an inspiration to me. WOW! What an incredible message; I am taken aback, seriously... :D

You may think you're stuck in first grade, but you are teaching me a lot too! Thanks!

Val.

Re: RANT

Valerie S on 6/07/02 at 07:55 (086637)

Melissa,

I also know how you are feeling. Even though I am now pretending to live a normal life, it is not hard for me to remember how lonely, desperate, worthless and helpless I felt when I was in the depths of my PF. Lucky for me, I had a husband who understood and tried to help (and listened to me cry and whine all the time... God, please give him a special reward just for living with me for the last year and a half...), but believe me it made me feel like dirt not being able to take care of him the way I wanted to.

I am no Suzanne, but I just wanted to remind you that you will always have us! I know it provides little comfort when you watch the rest of the world walking around having fun, but there are plenty of things you can do that could brighten your days... maybe you could find a hobby that will allow you to sit. I don't know if you're crafty or not, but you could try something new... be adventurous... ! Maybe end up sitting on the beach, painting seascapes... who knows!

When I was going through the terrible pain of PF that led me to make drastic changes in my life, I kept telling myself (and these words came to me from my wonderful PT I told you about) that maybe God just has a different purpose in mind for me. He really doesn't give you more than you can handle... maybe you can find some comfort in the book of Job. All his friends left him, he suffered a lot...

Anyways, I have some more for you... look for me online, OK?

I'm sorry you are hurting so much right now... we will be here for you anytime. Take care, dear friend. Let's chat soon now! :D

Val.

Re: RANT

Rick R on 6/07/02 at 08:08 (086639)

Mahatmelissama,

Since I have been having trouble with my back it has been interesting to notice the contrast in the level of understanding on the part of others. People offer to carry things, you name it. Even my wife who you would think would get it, after dealing with me for 18 years of PF. She's way ahead of the general population but she still gets frustrated when I can't just run down the stairs for something without slipping on my running shoes first, or have to tape up before going on a walk etc.. But she wouldn't let me put the window airconditioners, insisting I have my daughter do the lifting.

It's just the nature of this thing to be hard to understand. The other aspect of understanding this is the number of people that fit the model so many of our doctors have expected us to conform to. Three weeks of rest and magic pills and we should be well on our way, yea right. There are a lot of folks out there that have had a minor touch of what we have. They must be the majority of cases the doctors see, forming their expectations for our recovery. These folks are out there offering a level of sympathy and understanding appropriate for what they went through, not most of us. They had a bad week, I couldn't do squat for a decade. See you got me going, I was trying to be understanding and now I'm getting fired up!! And then the insinuation that we must be wimpy!

Rant on!
Rick

Re: Suzanne...

Suzanne D on 6/07/02 at 08:40 (086644)

Dear Valerie and Missy,

Thank you both. I went over my post again and again in my mind before I typed it, hoping that it didn't come across with a 'know-it-all' or insensitive attitude, for that is certainly not what I intended. Thank you for making me feel better about posting it, because I did still worry a little after I wrote it! ;-)

We all experience pain in our lives, and I have had my share as well. Some of it has not been physical, and no one could see or know about it which makes it even harder to deal with. It used to just crush me when others didn't or couldn't understand, but then I think God helped me to change my attitude, and that helped me even more than sympathy or understanding from others.

If anything I wrote helped you, then I am very thankful!

My best to both of you,
Suzanne :-)

Re: RANT

monte on 6/07/02 at 08:59 (086647)

I understand what you all are talking about. My bilateral case is 17 months old already. My twins are 30 months old. So right there...I missed alot of time NOT playing with them. I am 36 years old and was always the fit and strong guy. Now, here I was where I couldn't carry my kids on my back. So I just sat on the sofa every night after work, depressed and did nothing with my kids or wife. As time went on, I tried my best to change my attitude. I started playing with my kids on the floor or on the sofa and I really made me a 1000 times happier. I had to stop going to the gym and martial arts. But now I make it a mission to get there 2 times a week and never overdo it. (I do every excercise sitting down!) I have always been the strong Uncle...now my nephews carry things for me. It is hard at times. But now my 28 year old nephew is complaining about constant pain in both his heels. I am on him right away to help him. Now he has a different appreciation for me. When my friends or family ask me to do something or go somewhere....I just say NO and I really learned to not care what anyone thinks. People are trying to be nice by inviting you places and offering suggestions, but then they are being lousy when they insist or say 'How bad can your feet hurt?' I get past these things now. My wife takes great care of me and I treasure her more and more for the type of person she is. Things do get better for all of us...I thought they never would...but they are starting and it all started with ME. All the support in the world will not help you if YOU aren't the first one to help you. I have also learned to lend myself to help anyone I can now. This has been a humbling experience for me and maybe God sent a message. I hope that I provided something of use within this long message.

Re: RANT

Carole C in NOLA on 6/07/02 at 09:13 (086650)

Rick, thanks for mentioning that maybe even doctors see mostly people with a minor touch of PF. That does explain a lot of the seemingly heartless behavior we experience, even from people we can normally rely on to be caring and compassionate.

Carole C

Re: RANT

Carole C in NOLA on 6/07/02 at 09:29 (086655)

Suzanne, your giving and caring attitude is angelic and you are such a sweet person. You make the world a better place.

You mentioned that you stopped looking for sympathy or understanding, except on the board, and I guess I have too. But for me, that has evolved into near secrecy, except in the rare case when somebody really presses me for explanations (and even then, I reveal as little as possible about it).

It's important for me to be very careful about this, and not let this secrecy evolve into a hating/rejecting attitude towards my feet. You have probably discovered this too. I think that I heal better if I maintain an attitude of cherishing and nurturing my feet. Massaging my feet with my night blooming jasmine lotion seems to help that. Today, I'm going to buy some (gasp!) pretty colors of nail polish so my feet will look and feel pretty when I'm wearing my Birkenstocks without socks in Florida.

No socks! Look out, I will be so 'with it' and cool. Who knows, I might even get a toe ring if I see one for sale. LOL

Carole C

Re: RANT

Carole C in NOLA on 6/07/02 at 09:41 (086656)

Monte, thanks for reminding us that this is one battle that we each have to fight for ourselves.

We can get support and encouragement from others, but nobody is going to monitor how well and how consistently we treat our feet with the conservative treatments that are discussed in the heel pain book and on this message board.

As we all know or suspect, life just isn't fair. Some of us have to battle harder and/or longer with PF than others. Nobody can fight this battle for us.

I am so glad to hear that things are starting to get better for you! Keep up the battle. :)

Carole C

Re: RANT

Suzanne D on 6/07/02 at 10:31 (086662)

Yes, Carole, you are so right: it does no good to dislike any part of yourself. I learned this the hard way! In my teen years, I very much disliked being so tall and having long feet. I felt gangly and awkward, and in my small town and the small towns around, most shoe stores didn't even carry above size 9 in women's shoes (I needed a 10 1/2), and the skirts could just be measured in inches! (Remember the late 60's! If you were tall, they were REALLY short!) We couldn't wear pants to high school, so I learned to sew. And I wore mostly sandals since the other shoes hurt my feet. And I had a BIG lack of confidence!

But I have learned that I can't be my best - or even help anyone else - if I have a negative attitude toward myself. And I have slowly but surely changed those feelings about myself. I try to teach my children at school - and my two daughters - to be proud of their special characteristics and to become the very best they can be.

Enjoy that bright nail polish with your Birks in Florida! As the kids would say, 'You go, Girl!' :-)

Suzanne :-)

Re: RANT

Suzanne D on 6/07/02 at 10:50 (086664)

Thanks for your message, Monte! I think you are a wiser and better father and husband now because of what you learned through your struggles! I am sure your little twins are most happy that you are with them - whether it is on the floor or couch or wherever. The main thing is that you are paying attention to them and spending time with them, which is what you have learned, I'm sure.

I've found with myself that after humbling experiences, I am better able to help others - as you pointed out so well.

Best wishes for continuing improvement!
Suzanne :-)

Re: RANT

Kathy G on 6/07/02 at 15:28 (086690)

To You All,

We are unwilling members of a select club, one that isn't as bad as the one my sister 'belonged' to while undergoing chemotherapy for bilateral breast cancer, but one that has radically changed our lives nonetheless. It is impossible to feel someone else's pain but we all have experienced similar pain, albeit in different degrees. We support each other and yes, Melissa, we don't mind if you rant! Rant on because no matter how upbeat we all try to be, we all have days we want to throw something across the room because of this stupid malady!

Suzanne is right, as only Suzanne can be. Personally, I never expected any sympathy from anyone and so, on that score, I suppose I was less disappointed than some. Like Carole, I tend to keep my problems to myself so many people don't even know that I have an problems. I am extremely private, to a fault but because of that, I seldom share any of my problems with anyone except my husband and sometimes my children. Like Valerie, I have the benefit a most supportive, caring husband and that makes everything so much easier for me. After I gave my notice at the Library, I asked the woman I worked with, to whom I had only mentioned that my feet hurt, if I could check in the returns rather than put away the cd's because squatting hurt my arches. She had the audacity to tell me that that was virtually impossible! That gave me an idea of how people would react if I told them of my foot problems.

Not surprisingly, the most sympathetic person outside my family has been a friend with advanced Rheumatoid Arthritis. She had extensive surgery on her feet and has to wear running shoes and braces. She is one of the strongest people I know and she has been an inspiration to me.

To Monte, I feel so badly that you can't play with your children the way you want to. I feel blessed that I got this after my children were grown. To Rick, hang on to the idea of that bad back as long as you can! No one has to know when it feels better!

I try not to be a 'Pollyanna' (I have driven my sisters crazy with my tendency to see the glass half full because they always see it as half empty.) but whenever I feel down, I just remind myself of all the other diseases that people cope with on a daily basis and I end up chastising myself for feeling any self-pity. Of course, I try not to think about the expression, 'Just walk a mile in the other guy's shoes because that thought is so painful to me!' :)

Re: RANT

monte on 6/07/02 at 15:32 (086691)

Kathy....AMEN to all you wrote!

Re: RANT

Suzanne D on 6/07/02 at 16:15 (086701)

You summed up things very well, Kathy! I am glad that even though you are a very private person, you have chosen to share with us here. As you said, we are all members of the same club!

Suzanne :-)

Re: RANT

Sharon W on 6/07/02 at 21:57 (086736)

Kathy,

It caught my attention when you mentioned that the most sympathetic person outside your family was a friend with rheumatoid arthritis. Like you, I was NOT open with my co-workers about what was happening to me in terms of foot pain. Only one person at work knew anything at all about it. She was a co-worker who, like me, had to be constantly on her feet and yet she never said a word as she bravely hobbled through her evening in obvious pain from her rheumatoid arthritis. I didn't really limp, then, and even though we worked in a hospital I think she was the only one who ever NOTICED me favoring my right foot. I almost felt guilty about this, because I knew she was going through so much herself, but she always noticed when I was in pain and always seemed to take the time to ASK... It made a real difference; I will always be grateful to her for her kindness.

But then again -- although EVERYONE knew about HER condition I think I was the only one who bothered to acknowledge when SHE was hurting, too...

-- Sharon

Re: You are SO RIGHT!!!!!!

Carole C in NOLA on 6/06/02 at 15:36 (086566)

Melissa, you are SO RIGHT!!! And by the way, with you being in that level of pain I think you should NOT be going to Safeway/Albertsons/Trader Joes AT ALL. You may have responsibilities that I don't have, but if you are going to the grocery store when it's agony for 10 minutes, you are abusing your feet and if there are people who could be helping you, they are being horrid. At least, that is my opinion.

Easy for me to say, because I live alone so I was able to just go to drive-throughs and eat what was in the cupboard and what I could manage to buy before the excruciating pain started.

I didn't go to my office Christmas party. I told them I went last year, and that I would go next year, but this year I wasn't going to go. I didn't even give them a reason. If someone insists that you attend a BBQ, maybe you could insist that they sit with you and not leave your side throughout the whole BBQ. That might make them think twice!

On the exercise and weight loss thing, the only thing I've found that stops the 'helpful suggestions' is to very firmly tell them that my doctor wants me to do 'xyz' and not 'abc', thank you very much. They may think I'm a total idiot but they can't argue with my doctor.

People can be so thoughtless!

Carole C

Re: no worries, i use online groceries ;) eom

Mahatmelissama on 6/06/02 at 16:51 (086583)

.

Re: That's right, I forgot!!!!! oops LOL (eom)

Carole C in NOLA on 6/06/02 at 17:44 (086590)

.

Re: RANT

Missy B on 6/06/02 at 19:31 (086597)

I know exactly what you are saying. Before I had my surgery, some of my friends and co-workers just thought I was being over-melodramatic with my foot pain. Many began to think it was just a convenient excuse not to do something. And when I made the decision to have surgery, well, some thought I was just looking for a way to get 3 months off from work. Like anyone in their right mind would choose foot surgery just for some time off. Those who have never suffered from the agony of foot pain just have no idea what those of us who do must endure everyday of our lives. It's not like you can take 2 aspirin and it will go away. Missy B.

Re: RANT

Suzanne D on 6/06/02 at 19:35 (086598)

Dear Melissa,

I am sorry you are feeling frustrated and upset by people's reactions. Here is something that helped me; I thought I would just share it with you. When I accepted the fact that no one was really going to understand (other than the people at Heelspurs.com!) how badly my feet hurt, and consequently no one was going to give me the sympathy and understanding I longed for, I stopped looking for it. When I stopped looking for the understanding and sympathy, I stopped being so disappointed and frustrated by others' reactions.

Whenever it has gotten too much for me, I have posted here, and someone has always kindly responded. Then I could pick myself back up and go on again.

The rest of the time, I have concentrated on reaching out to others as I do care and understand when others are hurting. I have concentrated on my work as a teacher and my family and friends. And if I can't do something, I just don't - no matter if others understand or not.

Did this make the pain go away? No. Did it stop me from being upset about that? No; not entirely, but it has helped me to cope and not get down about it.

Now I hasten to say that I know MANY are in more pain than I have ever been in, and I don't for a minute think I have the answers, but I wanted to share what has helped me.

I DO care and understand how you feel!

Suzanne :-)

Re: RANT

Missy B on 6/06/02 at 22:55 (086624)

Suzanne - great attitude and great advice; thanks for sharing with us.
Missy B.

Re: Suzanne...

Valerie S on 6/07/02 at 07:07 (086630)

You continue to be such an inspiration to me. WOW! What an incredible message; I am taken aback, seriously... :D

You may think you're stuck in first grade, but you are teaching me a lot too! Thanks!

Val.

Re: RANT

Valerie S on 6/07/02 at 07:55 (086637)

Melissa,

I also know how you are feeling. Even though I am now pretending to live a normal life, it is not hard for me to remember how lonely, desperate, worthless and helpless I felt when I was in the depths of my PF. Lucky for me, I had a husband who understood and tried to help (and listened to me cry and whine all the time... God, please give him a special reward just for living with me for the last year and a half...), but believe me it made me feel like dirt not being able to take care of him the way I wanted to.

I am no Suzanne, but I just wanted to remind you that you will always have us! I know it provides little comfort when you watch the rest of the world walking around having fun, but there are plenty of things you can do that could brighten your days... maybe you could find a hobby that will allow you to sit. I don't know if you're crafty or not, but you could try something new... be adventurous... ! Maybe end up sitting on the beach, painting seascapes... who knows!

When I was going through the terrible pain of PF that led me to make drastic changes in my life, I kept telling myself (and these words came to me from my wonderful PT I told you about) that maybe God just has a different purpose in mind for me. He really doesn't give you more than you can handle... maybe you can find some comfort in the book of Job. All his friends left him, he suffered a lot...

Anyways, I have some more for you... look for me online, OK?

I'm sorry you are hurting so much right now... we will be here for you anytime. Take care, dear friend. Let's chat soon now! :D

Val.

Re: RANT

Rick R on 6/07/02 at 08:08 (086639)

Mahatmelissama,

Since I have been having trouble with my back it has been interesting to notice the contrast in the level of understanding on the part of others. People offer to carry things, you name it. Even my wife who you would think would get it, after dealing with me for 18 years of PF. She's way ahead of the general population but she still gets frustrated when I can't just run down the stairs for something without slipping on my running shoes first, or have to tape up before going on a walk etc.. But she wouldn't let me put the window airconditioners, insisting I have my daughter do the lifting.

It's just the nature of this thing to be hard to understand. The other aspect of understanding this is the number of people that fit the model so many of our doctors have expected us to conform to. Three weeks of rest and magic pills and we should be well on our way, yea right. There are a lot of folks out there that have had a minor touch of what we have. They must be the majority of cases the doctors see, forming their expectations for our recovery. These folks are out there offering a level of sympathy and understanding appropriate for what they went through, not most of us. They had a bad week, I couldn't do squat for a decade. See you got me going, I was trying to be understanding and now I'm getting fired up!! And then the insinuation that we must be wimpy!

Rant on!
Rick

Re: Suzanne...

Suzanne D on 6/07/02 at 08:40 (086644)

Dear Valerie and Missy,

Thank you both. I went over my post again and again in my mind before I typed it, hoping that it didn't come across with a 'know-it-all' or insensitive attitude, for that is certainly not what I intended. Thank you for making me feel better about posting it, because I did still worry a little after I wrote it! ;-)

We all experience pain in our lives, and I have had my share as well. Some of it has not been physical, and no one could see or know about it which makes it even harder to deal with. It used to just crush me when others didn't or couldn't understand, but then I think God helped me to change my attitude, and that helped me even more than sympathy or understanding from others.

If anything I wrote helped you, then I am very thankful!

My best to both of you,
Suzanne :-)

Re: RANT

monte on 6/07/02 at 08:59 (086647)

I understand what you all are talking about. My bilateral case is 17 months old already. My twins are 30 months old. So right there...I missed alot of time NOT playing with them. I am 36 years old and was always the fit and strong guy. Now, here I was where I couldn't carry my kids on my back. So I just sat on the sofa every night after work, depressed and did nothing with my kids or wife. As time went on, I tried my best to change my attitude. I started playing with my kids on the floor or on the sofa and I really made me a 1000 times happier. I had to stop going to the gym and martial arts. But now I make it a mission to get there 2 times a week and never overdo it. (I do every excercise sitting down!) I have always been the strong Uncle...now my nephews carry things for me. It is hard at times. But now my 28 year old nephew is complaining about constant pain in both his heels. I am on him right away to help him. Now he has a different appreciation for me. When my friends or family ask me to do something or go somewhere....I just say NO and I really learned to not care what anyone thinks. People are trying to be nice by inviting you places and offering suggestions, but then they are being lousy when they insist or say 'How bad can your feet hurt?' I get past these things now. My wife takes great care of me and I treasure her more and more for the type of person she is. Things do get better for all of us...I thought they never would...but they are starting and it all started with ME. All the support in the world will not help you if YOU aren't the first one to help you. I have also learned to lend myself to help anyone I can now. This has been a humbling experience for me and maybe God sent a message. I hope that I provided something of use within this long message.

Re: RANT

Carole C in NOLA on 6/07/02 at 09:13 (086650)

Rick, thanks for mentioning that maybe even doctors see mostly people with a minor touch of PF. That does explain a lot of the seemingly heartless behavior we experience, even from people we can normally rely on to be caring and compassionate.

Carole C

Re: RANT

Carole C in NOLA on 6/07/02 at 09:29 (086655)

Suzanne, your giving and caring attitude is angelic and you are such a sweet person. You make the world a better place.

You mentioned that you stopped looking for sympathy or understanding, except on the board, and I guess I have too. But for me, that has evolved into near secrecy, except in the rare case when somebody really presses me for explanations (and even then, I reveal as little as possible about it).

It's important for me to be very careful about this, and not let this secrecy evolve into a hating/rejecting attitude towards my feet. You have probably discovered this too. I think that I heal better if I maintain an attitude of cherishing and nurturing my feet. Massaging my feet with my night blooming jasmine lotion seems to help that. Today, I'm going to buy some (gasp!) pretty colors of nail polish so my feet will look and feel pretty when I'm wearing my Birkenstocks without socks in Florida.

No socks! Look out, I will be so 'with it' and cool. Who knows, I might even get a toe ring if I see one for sale. LOL

Carole C

Re: RANT

Carole C in NOLA on 6/07/02 at 09:41 (086656)

Monte, thanks for reminding us that this is one battle that we each have to fight for ourselves.

We can get support and encouragement from others, but nobody is going to monitor how well and how consistently we treat our feet with the conservative treatments that are discussed in the heel pain book and on this message board.

As we all know or suspect, life just isn't fair. Some of us have to battle harder and/or longer with PF than others. Nobody can fight this battle for us.

I am so glad to hear that things are starting to get better for you! Keep up the battle. :)

Carole C

Re: RANT

Suzanne D on 6/07/02 at 10:31 (086662)

Yes, Carole, you are so right: it does no good to dislike any part of yourself. I learned this the hard way! In my teen years, I very much disliked being so tall and having long feet. I felt gangly and awkward, and in my small town and the small towns around, most shoe stores didn't even carry above size 9 in women's shoes (I needed a 10 1/2), and the skirts could just be measured in inches! (Remember the late 60's! If you were tall, they were REALLY short!) We couldn't wear pants to high school, so I learned to sew. And I wore mostly sandals since the other shoes hurt my feet. And I had a BIG lack of confidence!

But I have learned that I can't be my best - or even help anyone else - if I have a negative attitude toward myself. And I have slowly but surely changed those feelings about myself. I try to teach my children at school - and my two daughters - to be proud of their special characteristics and to become the very best they can be.

Enjoy that bright nail polish with your Birks in Florida! As the kids would say, 'You go, Girl!' :-)

Suzanne :-)

Re: RANT

Suzanne D on 6/07/02 at 10:50 (086664)

Thanks for your message, Monte! I think you are a wiser and better father and husband now because of what you learned through your struggles! I am sure your little twins are most happy that you are with them - whether it is on the floor or couch or wherever. The main thing is that you are paying attention to them and spending time with them, which is what you have learned, I'm sure.

I've found with myself that after humbling experiences, I am better able to help others - as you pointed out so well.

Best wishes for continuing improvement!
Suzanne :-)

Re: RANT

Kathy G on 6/07/02 at 15:28 (086690)

To You All,

We are unwilling members of a select club, one that isn't as bad as the one my sister 'belonged' to while undergoing chemotherapy for bilateral breast cancer, but one that has radically changed our lives nonetheless. It is impossible to feel someone else's pain but we all have experienced similar pain, albeit in different degrees. We support each other and yes, Melissa, we don't mind if you rant! Rant on because no matter how upbeat we all try to be, we all have days we want to throw something across the room because of this stupid malady!

Suzanne is right, as only Suzanne can be. Personally, I never expected any sympathy from anyone and so, on that score, I suppose I was less disappointed than some. Like Carole, I tend to keep my problems to myself so many people don't even know that I have an problems. I am extremely private, to a fault but because of that, I seldom share any of my problems with anyone except my husband and sometimes my children. Like Valerie, I have the benefit a most supportive, caring husband and that makes everything so much easier for me. After I gave my notice at the Library, I asked the woman I worked with, to whom I had only mentioned that my feet hurt, if I could check in the returns rather than put away the cd's because squatting hurt my arches. She had the audacity to tell me that that was virtually impossible! That gave me an idea of how people would react if I told them of my foot problems.

Not surprisingly, the most sympathetic person outside my family has been a friend with advanced Rheumatoid Arthritis. She had extensive surgery on her feet and has to wear running shoes and braces. She is one of the strongest people I know and she has been an inspiration to me.

To Monte, I feel so badly that you can't play with your children the way you want to. I feel blessed that I got this after my children were grown. To Rick, hang on to the idea of that bad back as long as you can! No one has to know when it feels better!

I try not to be a 'Pollyanna' (I have driven my sisters crazy with my tendency to see the glass half full because they always see it as half empty.) but whenever I feel down, I just remind myself of all the other diseases that people cope with on a daily basis and I end up chastising myself for feeling any self-pity. Of course, I try not to think about the expression, 'Just walk a mile in the other guy's shoes because that thought is so painful to me!' :)

Re: RANT

monte on 6/07/02 at 15:32 (086691)

Kathy....AMEN to all you wrote!

Re: RANT

Suzanne D on 6/07/02 at 16:15 (086701)

You summed up things very well, Kathy! I am glad that even though you are a very private person, you have chosen to share with us here. As you said, we are all members of the same club!

Suzanne :-)

Re: RANT

Sharon W on 6/07/02 at 21:57 (086736)

Kathy,

It caught my attention when you mentioned that the most sympathetic person outside your family was a friend with rheumatoid arthritis. Like you, I was NOT open with my co-workers about what was happening to me in terms of foot pain. Only one person at work knew anything at all about it. She was a co-worker who, like me, had to be constantly on her feet and yet she never said a word as she bravely hobbled through her evening in obvious pain from her rheumatoid arthritis. I didn't really limp, then, and even though we worked in a hospital I think she was the only one who ever NOTICED me favoring my right foot. I almost felt guilty about this, because I knew she was going through so much herself, but she always noticed when I was in pain and always seemed to take the time to ASK... It made a real difference; I will always be grateful to her for her kindness.

But then again -- although EVERYONE knew about HER condition I think I was the only one who bothered to acknowledge when SHE was hurting, too...

-- Sharon