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Guidelines for

Posted by marie on 3/24/03 at 19:30 (114337)

I would like to propose some simple guidelines that may help allof us. I hope that you will all join in and add to it. It has been my experience that sometimes the way I write or say things may be misinterpreted. On the internet it is especially true.

1. Avoid using the word 'you' at the beginning of a sentence. It immediately puts people on the defensive.

2. Do try Power Talk when trying to make a point. Example: 'I need for you to understand my take on the subject'.

3. Avoid using all caps for words. It comes across like you're yelling. Also quatation marks around words comes across a little b_tchy.

4. Try not to send everyone all over the internet to make a point. It does come across like bullying. 'See all these people agree with me so there.' Make your point in your own words.

5. Please try to resist labeling people. No one likes it. Again it is a type of bullying.

6. Maybe we can try using a monotone pacifist voice in our head when reading posts. Especially for hot topics.

7. Ed I think you made progress today. Cool Beans. Just checking to see if you're reading this.

8. Waky talk. Say something toally out of chracter and off the subject when it gets to heated.
It has always worked for me.

Does anyone else have any ideas?

Peace to all, whether you like it or not! LOL marie

Re: Guidelines for Success!

marie on 3/24/03 at 19:32 (114340)

that was my original post. Maybe you folks can build on it. But Ed we are not going to shoot anyone with a scud missile. LOL.


Re: Guidelines for Success!

Sharon W on 3/24/03 at 19:47 (114345)


This isn't precisely a response to your post; it's a (partial and modified) re-post of something I wrote in response to Dr. Ed's request, below -- but by the time I finally pushed the 'post' button you and Dr. Ed had already been talking this over! So, I'm adding this to your 'suggestions' thread.

Dr. Ed said, 'It seems that a reasonable thing to do is to agree to a set of rules that we all abide by and are willing to enforce irrespective of the political bent of the rule breaker. I am dissapointed that there has been little response to this suggestion and would like to hear from others with any suggestions they would like to put forth to re-establish some civility here.'

I've been trying to suggest something like that for weeks and have gotten absolutely nowhere with it. At this point I'm convinced that we could never all agree on a set of 'rules' for civil discussion, anyway. Scott is the only one who could enforce such 'rules,' even if we DID all agree on them, and it looks like he isn't interested.

Unless you and Dr. Ed are successful at getting an agreement from everyone to follow 'rules' or 'guidelines' of self-restraint, I think John h had the right idea. To avoid inflammatory arguments, just don't read ANY of the posts written by a heckler or anyone else who makes you mad enough to want to say something hurtful back to them. If we all do the same, then any poster who seems to be completely out of control will be consoled for a while by others who applaud what they're doing and agree with them. But their posts would be harmless, completely unable to annoy the rest of us, because of course, we wouldn't be reading it!!

Anyway, that is the only solution I can see: just don't read their posts!


Re: Guidelines for Success!

marie on 3/24/03 at 19:57 (114347)

I made the same suggestion somewhere along the way. Been to crazy for me to try to find that. I think it's good advice. Guidelines for success aren't rules. They are guidelines. Guidelines are just something to keep in mind when you're posting. A helpful guide. I think we can add

If you don't get along with someone or don't like the discussion avoid it.

what number is that?

Re: Guidelines for Success!

Sharon W on 3/24/03 at 20:56 (114359)


I don't think I can agree to avoid using caps. It seems just about the only way there is to emphasize a word or phrase, when others can't see your face or hear the inflections in your voice. As for quotation marks, I will try to use those less -- but of course they are necessary when you're actually quoting someone!


Re: Guidelines for Success!

marie on 3/24/03 at 21:20 (114365)

Actually I got these internet messaging guidelines from a teenager. They are messaging efcianados. They told me about the caps thing. According to my teen gurus caps are always perceived as yelling when read by
another person. They tell me caps are a big no no in the messaging world web. But these are just some guidelines, so don't worry about it.


Re: Guidelines for Success!

Sharon W on 3/24/03 at 21:27 (114369)


I really like the one about trying to read others' posts with a mental monotone, at least the first time through, so you don't end up putting emphasis where no emphasis was intended.

But I do think it would be good to incorporate a guideline based on the Golden Rule: something like, 'Do not post unto others as you would not have others post unto you...'


Re: Guidelines for

john h on 3/24/03 at 21:27 (114370)

Marie: i shall pass on your guidelines to my wife. maybe she will be nicer to me.

Re: Guidelines for

marie on 3/24/03 at 21:35 (114372)

If I were you I'd give her flowers and romance instead. That may work a little more in your favor.


Re: Don't forget...I like cheese.

marie on 3/24/03 at 21:40 (114374)

Wacky talk works. Richard posted the 'I like cheese.' Hey if cheese works go for it.

Re: Sharon

Julie on 3/25/03 at 01:01 (114397)

Hi Sharon

You don't need caps for emphasis, Sharon. Emphasis in writing comes from the clarity and cogency with which whatever is being said is expressed. You are always clear and cogent.

Quotation marks ('inverted commas' as we say here) are a slightly different matter. They can be an effective means of conveying one's feelings (contempt, surprise, etc) on something without going into detail. But they can be overused.