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10 Great Fibs

Posted by Pauline on 5/26/03 at 16:26 (119966)

Here is a list of 10 of the most told fibs in America. Got any to add.
Given in a newspaper article.
1. Give me your number and the doctor will call you right back.
2. This offer limited to the first 100 people who call in.
3. Leave your resume and we'll keep it on file.
4. Your table will be ready in a few minutes.
5. Open wide; it won't hurt a bit.
6. We service what we sell.
7. Money cheerfully refunded.
8. This hurts me more than it hurts you.
9. You don't look a day over 30.
10 I just need five minutes of your time.

'The check is in the mail' should be on this list.

Re: 10 Great Fibs

wendyn on 5/26/03 at 19:20 (119971)

How about

'My wife and I have an 'understanding' '

or

'I've never done this before'

(Makes you wonder about my past doesn't it!?)

Re: 10 Great Fibs

BrianG on 5/26/03 at 19:38 (119974)

I think you forgot, 'I'll still respect you in the morning' Hahahaaaa

Looks like someone is feeling better, and no, I won't say your name, We***, as I know it'll send you a message :*)

BrianG

Re: 10 Great Fibs

Pauline on 5/26/03 at 23:04 (119987)

Good one Brian, but you forgot to add 'My wife doesn't understand me' or just 'I'll call you':*

Re: 10 Great Fibs

Rick R on 5/27/03 at 08:02 (119994)

I only had 2 beers ossifer, honest.

Re: 10 Great Fibs

john h on 5/27/03 at 08:09 (119999)

Honey!I'll be home at midnight I have to work late.

Re: 10 Great Fibs

Pauline on 5/27/03 at 08:46 (120004)

This has to be the grand daddy of them all 'I'm sterile'

Re: fibs teachers hear...

Suzanne D on 5/27/03 at 10:26 (120019)

My homework was in my bookbag; I don't know what happened to it! :-s

He started it! /:)

'I wuz just playin' with him'(after any incident in the boys' restroom). 0:)

I just started feeling better! (right before PE when child has been feeling too badly to work earlier).

I could go on...
Suzanne :)

Re: fibs teachers hear...

marie on 5/27/03 at 12:29 (120032)

This is my favorite fib from students.

'I got sent to the principals office for no good reason. I wasn't doing anything.'

These are their words before they go into the office. They're usually pretty quiet when they come out.

marie

Re: 10 Great Fibs

Richard, C.Ped on 5/27/03 at 13:17 (120037)

My most used during school years was...'no mom, I don't have any homework'.
That one kept me in more trouble.
Richard

Re: 10 Great Fibs

JudyS on 5/27/03 at 18:40 (120068)

Yikes - this one could be a Pandora's Box for we ladies who, as teenage girls, dated teenage guys.....:)

Wendy - I was wondering about you last week - how did your plane ride to Chicago go? Bummer about the sinus thing - I know just how miserable that can be. I wonder if it started because of your trip?

I sure can empathise regarding your boy's graduation. It's bittersweet in a way but I found that, with my sons, if I just absorbed the whole experience while it was happening, I was able to appreciate their growth and be proud during the ceremonie(s).

Re: 10 Great Fibs

wendyn on 5/27/03 at 20:50 (120079)

Hi Judy!

The trip was awesome. The plane ride there was ok, the plane ride back was more difficult (it always is). Plus, we had a rough take off out of Denver. I don't like take offs, and I don't like turbulence. The combination led me to a double vodka and an explanation to the flight attendent of a terse 'I have issues'.

;)

I am looking forward to the grad - and thankfully I am getting better as well!

Re: 10 Great Fibs

wendyn on 5/27/03 at 20:54 (120080)

From Children:

'I don't know' (as in Who did this?!?)

'It wasn't me'

'He started it'

'I didn't know that I wasn't allowed to....'

'I'm holding these cigarettes/birth control pills/condoms for my friend, they're not mine'

'We were just talking'

'We're just friends'

Re: 10 Great Fibs

wendyn on 5/27/03 at 20:55 (120081)

Nice one Brian - this one almost snuck past me.

Re: 10 Great Fibs

JudyS on 5/27/03 at 21:26 (120086)

Wendy - take-off and landing turbulence over Denver is very common because of the altitude. We experience the same thing when flying in to or out of Phoenix and Las Vegas because of the heat. I'm always, always, amazed at the calmness of my fellow travelers and flight attendants during turbulence - I'm always a bundle of nerves. I'm getting much better at just watching the flight attendants for clues as to how shaky I ought to get!
Just bought a laptop - it, and movie DVD's, are now going with me on any plane I get on in the future!

Re: 10 Great Fibs

Pauline on 5/27/03 at 21:28 (120087)

Good ones Wendlyn. How about 'The doctor will be right in' when your waiting naked covered with a paper sheet under the air conditioning duct.

Re: 10 Great Fibs

wendyn on 5/27/03 at 21:29 (120088)

Pauline - did you mean to call me Wendylyn or was that a Typo? My mom calls me that.

Re: 10 Great Fibs

Pauline on 5/27/03 at 21:29 (120089)

Just thought of another one. 'It taste like chicken' I often wonder how many things can taste like chicken.

Re: 10 Great Fibs

wendyn on 5/27/03 at 21:34 (120090)

Judy - I didn't know it had anything to do with the altitude - we are high up here (in Calgary) as well.

The turbulence on the take off was nasty - but short lived. Later, during the flight - we hit some nasty bumps as well. The flight attendent was standing beside us with her cart. Actually - at this point I had ordered one vodka seven. We hit the bumps, and she grabbed onto my husbands seat, and hooked her feet around the bottom of the seat across the aisle. She was making those faces that you don't want to see flight attendants make. (like 'yikes'). This is actually what drove me to say - 'while you're still here...I'd like another vodka please.......pause....I have issues'

Bearing in mind that I can't stomach vodka any other time - but hey - whatever works.

The tubulence really didn't last long, and it wasn't really that bad (I've been through worse). I hate having a phobia. It really sucks and makes you feel like a nut case. I will work with a psychologist this summer and may I will get better.

Re: 10 Great Fibs

wendyn on 5/27/03 at 22:00 (120094)

How about

'PF usually gets better in 4 to 6 weeeks'

'I'm leaving this bulletin board and never coming back'

'Your new haircut looks great'

'No - your butt doesn't look huge in those jeans'

Re: 10 Great Fibs

Necee on 5/28/03 at 00:57 (120098)

No, I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

Necee

Re: 10 Great Fibs

BGCPED on 5/28/03 at 06:52 (120107)

'I feel a kinship with the people of New Zealand and Sir Edmond Hillary, after all I was named after him' Hillary Clinton said that to a group of New Zealanders. Problem was that he made his famous climb about 5 years after she was born.

Just tweakin the noses of the lefties, didnt want you guys to forget he he

Re: 10 Great Fibs

wendyn on 5/28/03 at 07:20 (120111)

Necee - you beat me on that one!

Re: 10 Great Fibs

marie on 5/28/03 at 08:32 (120118)

'On May 22, I stated in very specific terms and I state again to every one of you listening tonight these facts I had no prior knowledge of the Watergate break-in; I neither took part in nor knew about any of the subsequent coverup activities; I neither authorized nor encouraged subordinates to engage in illegal or improper campaign tactics.'

Sorry Brian just a little nose tweak back to you.;)

marie

Re: 10 Great Fibs

john h on 5/28/03 at 10:19 (120137)

How about this Marie: 'I did not have sex with that woman'..Guess who?

Re: 10 Great Fibs

john h on 5/28/03 at 10:21 (120138)

I posted this some times ago and I actually read it in a medical journal. 'PF will usually go away in 10 years'!

Re: 10 Great Fibs

john h on 5/28/03 at 10:35 (120141)

Turbulence is just a fact of life when flying. Even clear air turbulence. On hot sunny days you can expect some turbulence just as you cross over the runway threshold when landing as concrete absorbs heat much more than dirt and there will be heat rising as you go over the concrete. When landing on a runway which is parallel to another runway there is a chance of turbulence. When a airplane takes off or land there is a circurlar turbulence created on the wing tip called wing tip vortices. It can linger on the ground or drift over a parallel runway. In any event if your plane hits it turbulence. In a small plane this can be deadly. When flying over the mountains like the Rockies as the wind hits the mountain and rushes upwards a very strong updraft can be encountered. On the other side a strong downdraft can be encountered. If you look at a mountain and see a small lens shaped cloud hanging over it that is a sure sign of danger and strong winds. Clear air turbulence is often caused as you enter the jet stream. The jet stream varies in altitude depending on the time of the year and can be only a few hundred feet thick but upwards of 200-300 mph. As your aircraft enters this strong wind on climbout or desent you can have major turbulence. You cannot see it. Airlines sometimes like to ride the jetstream as it can really save on fuel. Sitting in the cockpit pilots rarely are bothered by all this bumping but sitting in the back and out of control I do not much care for it either. As a pilot sitting in the back the scarest thing for me is an unexpected 'Go Around'. You are about to land and for what ever reason the pilot pours on the throttle and off you go.

Re: 10 Great Fibs

Pauline on 5/28/03 at 11:26 (120143)

Along those same lines 'I am not a crook'.

Re: 10 Great Fibs

JudyS on 5/28/03 at 12:19 (120152)

Good one, Necee:)

Re: 10 Great Fibs

JudyS on 5/28/03 at 12:23 (120153)

Wasn't it about ten years ago that you posted that, John h? :)

Re: 10 Great Fibs

marie on 5/28/03 at 12:26 (120154)

Someone already said that one.

Re: 10 Great Fibs

JudyS on 5/28/03 at 12:27 (120156)

Oops, yes Wendy girl you're right and I stand corrected. In fact, I wrote the word 'altitude' when what I actually meant was the mountains themselves. I think they have stronger air currents over them or something. I know that John h knows - thank goodness we have him :)

Re: 10 Great Fibs

john h on 5/28/03 at 14:04 (120173)

we are getting there Judy. I will have some sort of big celebration on my 10th anniversary of PF.

Re: 10 Great Fibs

BGCPED on 5/28/03 at 18:05 (120203)

Yes 10 years. And if you live long enough you will eventually die from heart attack