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Hanging questions

Posted by Dorothy on 6/25/03 at 02:05 (122865)

I always feel sad or concerned when a person who is in pain or distress or need enters a question on the message board and no one says anything. If I know absolutely nothing about the person's issue, then I say nothing, but I always wonder if there isn't someone out there who could answer. I always have this image of a distressed person waiting and waiting and no one responds - and it troubles me. I realize this is my problem and I have to adjust to the fact that not every question or request gets a response ... but I am tempted to 'yell': 'Hey! Somebody! say something!'

Re: Hanging questions

lara on 6/25/03 at 07:50 (122869)

It is a tough problem. I once ended up responding to someone on something I didn't know much about just because of this. (I've noticed that sometimes once one person responds, others will come a little more quickly). I then privately suggested she change the subject topic cuz I didn't think her 'subject' was something that would catch the eyes of people with answers. She thought I might have meant it was offensive - which it wasn't, but sometimes the person's heading can make a difference as to who chooses to read it.

This doesn't help someone with 'hanging questions', but maybe we can be a little more help for the person to 'get their foot in the door'.

Re: Hanging questions

Sharon W on 6/25/03 at 09:20 (122881)

Dorothy, Lara,

We have lost several of the posters who used to answer these 'orphan posts,' so I guess it's up to those of us who remain to try to at least let them know someone has read their post and cares enough to answer (even if we DON'T know how to help!)

Thank you, both of you, for bringing this up.


Re: Hanging questions

Marty on 6/25/03 at 14:38 (122918)

i have seen others , yell someone help them. i think its ok to do that

Re: Hanging questions

Suzanne D on 6/25/03 at 20:24 (122949)

Dorothy, the same thing bothers me as well. I will keep going back to see if someone has answered the post which is left alone. Then sometimes, if I know anything at all of value to share, I try to answer - hoping someone will step in who knows more to say.

Ironically, sometimes when I DO answer someone - whether to suggest they might try the same question on another board or to share whatever I might know - they often never respond. Then I wonder if they quit looking at the site after they didn't receive a quick response, or if they just weren't helped by my post and didn't feel like responding.

But I think I would rather err on the side of trying to help.

Suzanne :)

Re: Hanging questions

Sharon W on 6/25/03 at 20:53 (122951)

Very well said, Suzanne!

Re: Hanging questions

Dorothy on 6/26/03 at 05:02 (122971)

Yes, I agree fully with Sharon. You have put it perfectly and that is just the experience I have as well. I also think that you, and Sharon also, so often provide helpful responses to people. One other possibilty exists for the non-response following your response: maybe they were helped by your response but 'left' without saying so.

Re: Hanging questions

marie on 6/30/03 at 18:57 (123249)


I so agree with you. The main thing is to make someone feel welcome and give a little understanding. Sometimes it's easier not to say anything to them but a 'Hello' and it's 'nice to meet you' goes a long way when someone is in pain. Sharon is so good with everyone....I appreciate the fact that she responds to so many. John is great too and he doesn't hold grudges. We have lost some fun people but it's important to try to be helpful to the new ones.

If it wasn't for some of the folks here and some that have left I'd probably still be a mess. Thanks to all here!

Best wishes, Marie