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Standing up and socializing

Posted by Kathy G on 8/06/03 at 17:20 (126432)

I recently went to our garden club tour of members' gardens. Despite the torrential tropical rains that New England has been experiencing, we managed to hit two out of the five gardens and that wasn't bad if you consider that we couldn't even start out until 10:30 (rather than 9). It was a great deal of fun and I'm pleased to say that I'm making new friends through the club. Most of them are older than I but age is all in your head so I don't care. There are still some great ladies in the club and I enjoy the older ones. Not only that, being with them actually makes me feel young and that's rare these days! :D

The club president is probably about my age but she is a dynamo who is involved in all kinds of projects. Her major passion in life, of course, is her gardening and she lives in a beautiful home atop the highest hill in town. From her backyard, one can see two southern NH mountains and even one in MA. She says in the winter she can see the skiers on that one. Her gardens are huge and all I could think was how does she do it? Doesn't it hurt her feet and hands? Then I remembered that she doesn't have PF and arthritis!

She's had several of the trees behind her house cut down and has been building trails through the forest. She uses natural plants to 'landscape' them and they look beautiful. I didn't attempt to go down them as they are on an incline and I had already stood and walked quite a bit and my feet and my common sense said don't even think about it.

Back at her house, where she was serving pastries and coffee, it struck me once again, how inane this custom of standing and talking is! She had all these lovely tables set up, with tablecloths and centerpieces, but people were all standing, especially once they finished their snacking. It didn't bother me to simply drag over a chair and continue to talk while sitting but isn't it odd how often we socialize standing? What was nice is that I didn't say a word and no one questioned why I decided to sit.

Why do we always stand at social occasions? Like most of you, I never realized how prevalent it is until getting PF. Does it date back to European times? Was it a sign of hospitality or respect? Do people do it in foreign countries?

Re: Standing up and socializing

Suzanne D on 8/06/03 at 17:25 (126434)

I don't know the answers to your questions, Kathy, but I sure do understand your query!

I have often noticed how people will stop by 'just for a minute' and politely refuse several offers of 'Won't you have a seat?', saying they can't stay but for a minute. But they stand and talk for 20 minutes or more. Somehow if they don't sit, they seem to think they won't be there as long, but then it doesn't really work out that way!

I applaud you for going on to the Garden Club which you enjoy and then sensibly sitting down when you needed to. Maybe you'kk start a trend of sitting and talking!

Suzanne :)

Re: Standing up and socializing

marie on 8/06/03 at 17:55 (126435)

Oh Kathie it sounds like you had a great time. I bet the gardens were just beautiful. I am so glad that you were able to go and have fun.....even in a chair. I do the same thing...I just quietly move a chair or stool closer. Folks understand and if they don't oh well it will givem something to think about. Sounds like the garden club is just what you need.

We missed the garden walk this year. We don't have one locally but there is usually one in Ft. Wayne. We have also had alot of rain. It's been a great year to plant new plants.

Best wishes to you!

Re: Standing up and socializing

Pam S. on 8/06/03 at 21:02 (126442)

I so relate to what you are saying. I love to go OUT to lunch with friends because unlike a LUNCHEON where sometimes you even STAND and eat you know you will be sitting in a restaurant. I even wear more fashionable shoes those days and put a change of shoes in the car in case I need to stop at the store on the way home.

I am glad you went on that Garden Walk. That sounds like alot of fun. Do you have a garden at your house? Didn't you feel UP when you got home having gone out and had a nice day. I always do. The area you live in sounds so beautifu

Next month I will have to staff a house tour which is a fund raiser for one of our hospitals. I will just ask for a chair for my area. Only one elderly lady whose leg is in a brace does that. All the OTHER women my
age stand there in cute shoes ALL DAY!!!! OH brother.

I do hope you get this arthritis under control. Are you on medication for that I cannot remember. Take care, Pam

Re: Standing up and socializing

Kathy G on 8/07/03 at 09:06 (126464)

Ah yes, the little old ladies standing in cute shoes! One of the most stylish members of the club is 74 years old! There she stood in her capris and sandals, having done the trails, and I, at 20 years her junior, sat on a chair listening to her speak! Guess at that particular time, I didn't feel young!

Yes, Pam, I was already on Vioxx when the arthritis got worse. The shot of cortisone helped some but not as much as the cortisone shots used to work when my neuroma acted up. Doctor says in time I'll need to have surgery but I will put that off as long as possible. In the meantime, I'm just using analgesics when it's really bad. Thanks for asking.

And Suzanne is so right. The first rule of hospitality when someone comes by is to offer them a seat. And half the time, they say they'll just stand because they're staying a minute. I no longer stand with them; I sit. And more often than not, they sit when I do! We humans do strange things, don't we?

Re: Standing up and socializing

john h on 8/07/03 at 11:05 (126476)

Kathy: I was watching a 69 year old lady on the Today Show recently. She had just written a book about our affairs with 5 or 7 men over a years period. She advertised in the paper that she would like to have fun and sex and interviewed and selected these men. The youngest I thnk was 32 and she said she remains very good friends with all but one. She was very attractive and very bright. I do not know what vitimins she is on but you girls need to find out.

Re: Standing up and socializing

CLCinNOLA on 8/07/03 at 12:53 (126490)

She advertised that she wanted to have 'fun and sex', and she didn't have to hire an army to keep the guys off? The vitamins must have made her smell bad. (grin)

Carole C

Re: Standing up and socializing

Kathy G on 8/07/03 at 15:53 (126505)


I don't need to stand for that kind of socializing! :))

Re: Standing up and socializing

marie on 8/07/03 at 17:29 (126518)


Well if we figure it out we'll be rich or very tired!

Re: Standing up and socializing

Carole C in NOLA on 8/07/03 at 22:01 (126530)

ROFL! Kathy, you crack me up! :))

Carole C