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I torture myself with thoughts from the past

Posted by Mahatmelissama on 8/18/03 at 11:34 (127221)

In highschool, I can remember walking to highschool. No problem.
I would stand in line for lunch...no problem.
I would run for PE. Annoying, but no problem.
I would go to a school dance. Stand the whole time. No problem.
I would go to the bank, stand in line...no problem.
I would walk over to fast food with my friends...no problem.
I would walk all over the place to each friend's house...no problem.

In my adult life, the foot problems started in my early 20s. I could walk
and stand...but had some resisdual pain.

In my 30s, it kept getting worse...to the point where I had foot pain at
night waking me up and could not go for long car rides in vibrating cars
(literally caused spasm to get worse in my foot due to Mortens Neurmoa and
PF).
Nowdays, I am getting better, able to walk around the block 20 minutes without
pain. I am able to stand in small lines (even handled the airport lines when
I recently went to Iowa). I swear I will never take range of motion and mobility
for granted again. May it come back 100% to me.

Just had to state this. You all know how I feel! ;)

Re: I torture myself with thoughts from the past

JudyS on 8/18/03 at 12:15 (127228)

Melissa - do you remember reading all those times when those of us who are better always said that it seemed to come in very small incrememts - and that every increment seemed like a giant leap of success? That's you right now. That 20 minute walk around the block is monumental and I hope you're proud of yourself for hanging in there! Standing in line at the airport is just a few steps ahead of standing in line at the grocery store - sounds like you're well on your way.

Re: I torture myself with thoughts from the past

Mahatmelissama on 8/18/03 at 12:29 (127229)

Thanks JudyS, for reminding me that healing is small steps.
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

I need to keep looking at where I have come from to where I am.

Going to the Alice Zen concert in SF. 3 bands will be playing...it's on grass. My 2 friends will probably get sick of me sitting...but at least
I am braving concerts now. (Gotta see Duran Duran!)

I just saw Greg Kihn, Paul Rodgers and Boston at the Shoreline recently. I thought my back and feet would go out from sitting on the HARD garbage grass (Shoreline literally built out of old garbage! hey, this is Caliofrnia). I can now handle the grass if it is NORMAL grass but the rock hard Shoreline sloping grass area is a killer.

I hope the Golden Gate Park has comfortable grass.