SuicidePosted by Kristie R. on 8/21/03 at 12:15 (127523)
Has anybody ever thought abour ending their pain?
Re: emailJudyS on 8/21/03 at 12:17 (127528)
Kristie - email me, if you want, at (email removed)
Re: Suicidejohn h on 8/21/03 at 12:36 (127531)
Kristie: There is an old saying that has much truth in it and that is 'time cures everything'. I look at people like Christopher Reeves and people with ALS and wonder how they go on. They do go on however. You can almost count on your feet getting better no matter what you do. It may take months or longer but somewhere there is light at the end of the tuunnel. This is not a hopless disease and the hardest part is the first part. We have had people on here who were in wheelchairs and in horrible pain and some of them are now living a near normal life. Eight years ago I was suddenly in terrible pain and could no longer do all the things I really loved as I was and still am an active person. I saw no way out but I think this board help provide me with new resolve and although I no longer run marathons my life and pain have improved immeasurable. You need to discuss how you feel with someone like a best friend, minister, your doctor or someone. Do not carry this burden around inside of you. Just putting into words on this board is a good start.Take this thing one day at a time. You will find a lot of people here who really understand your pain and who really do care about you.
Re: SuicideR C on 8/21/03 at 14:18 (127553)
Kristie - please let us bear some of your burden. We have all been through the depths, and have helped each other through it. Write in later tonight and tell us how you're doing.
Re: SuicideSharon W on 8/21/03 at 15:04 (127555)
The short answer to that is, 'yes'. It was especially hard for me when my foot had been doing a little bit better and then suddenly started hurting really really bad without my doing ANYTHING I could figure out that might have triggered it... It made me feel so helpless, so powerless, so out of control, and SO discouraged when that happened. I would start to think of my future assuming that the worst possible situation was the only way things could turn out... and the years ahead did seem terribly bleak when I looked at it THAT way!
But that isn't the only way to look at it.
The long answer to your question: you've gotten a lot of good advice, and Aly in particular answered it very well. An awful lot of us do beccome depressed when we are subjected to high levels of pain that are not adequately controlled. Stress does trigger depression, and it also makes most health conditions worse, including conditions where inflammation is involved. Even if there were no other sources of stress in your life, the kind of pain you've been going through ALL BY ITSELF is extreme stress -- and of course, not knowing when (or if) it will go away is very stressful, too. Think of it this way: you are under the same level of stress as if you had just lost a close family member. You have suffered a temporary disability -- whether the Social Security or your doctor or anyone else has ever called it that, or not. A lot of people who are mourning need a little help from antidepressants to get them through such a stressful and difficult time, and that is also true for people whose lives have been going through the upheval caused by disability.
You can't wave a magic wand and make the PF go away. None of your doctors are going to be able to do that for you, either. But your doctor(s) SHOULD make sure you have adequate medications for pain control and should make sure you have antidepressants if you need them.
And there are things that you can do for yourself, too, even if you have to do them from a wheelchair. Some people have gone back to school, or changed jobs, or become avid artists, or gotten caught up on reading all those books they had piled up around the house, or gotten involved in charity work. It's all about focusing in on what IS possible, and trying not to dwell too much on what you can't do anymore. (That might seem pretty stupid to you right now, but it does help.)
Re: SuicideNecee on 8/21/03 at 15:27 (127558)
Kristie, yes many of us have wondered if there was a way out of this pain...but let me tell you suicide is NOT the answer.
John said just about exactly what I would tell you, it does and will get better, you must be patient and give it time, please trust us when we tell you there is light at the end of that long dark tunnel. Everyone here has stories to tell about what active lives they had then suddenly it all ended, but most of them will also tell you that they over came it and are much better today. It might take a long time, and you may not ever be able to do the things you once did...but, it's not the end of the world, please seek treatment from a professional, be delligent in your therapy, and stay hooked up with us here, you can lean on us anytime. I can honestly tell you that it's because of the caring and understanding of the great folks here that helped me endure my tough times with PF.
Don't give up Kristie, let us hear how you're doing.
Re: Suicidemarie on 8/21/03 at 15:38 (127562)
Pain does something to your mind. I know. I've been there. Talk to your doctor, pastor, friends, anyone you trust including us here. Your mind becomes so focused on pain it's hard to focus on anything pleasant.
Every single person who visits heelspurs knows about the pain you are experiencing. You want to end your pain not your life. Visit here often. Every day if necessary. Stay engaged in activity that will help you focus and distract you from the pain. It took me two years before just a little pain went away. I was one of the ones that was in a wheel chair.
Re: SuicidePam S. on 8/21/03 at 17:13 (127577)
I will not bore you with how I have totally been there where you are right now and how much pain I have had in the past. When I was REALLY bad I considered suicide. I realize after going on antidepressants that I really was depressed because of my pain. I never realized I was depressed until I talked to someone about it. I could never hurt my family by leaving them. Think of all the people who care about you. I am sure there are lots of people who truly care about what you are going through.
You have already received wonderful advise from the finest this board has to offer...minus a few I am sure. You know, once you can get help there are plenty of people out there who NEED YOU. Think of abused women, homeless families, what about hotline work where you do not have to be on your feet all day. Think how wonderful it would be to make a small difference in someones life. Maybe you have an elderly neighbor you could just call on the phone and see how they are. I am going to send this but there is more I want to say... I have to answer the door. Warmly, Pam
Re: SuicideDorothy on 8/21/03 at 18:12 (127584)
That's very thoughtful and kind advice, Marie. Let's hope that the writer hears your words, and those of the wise and concerned others who also wrote.
Re: SuicideKathy G on 8/22/03 at 08:40 (127634)
I hope that you will call your doctor immediately. You need to let him know how bad the pain your pain is, both physically and mentally. Pain meds can help to a certain degree but many, if not most, people in chronic pain need to be on an antidepressant to help counteract the condition. It isn't a sign of weakness; it's a fact that pain and lack of exercise will lessen the number of endorphins, the things that make us feel good, in our body. A mild dose of an antidepressant will help. It'll take a week or two to kick in but it will help.
Don't let the pain of PF or the life changes it's caused make you do something drastic. This will pass. I know that you don't think it will, but trust me, it may take a month or six months, but you'll find that with proper treatment, you'll begin to be able to do more.
I can't urge you strongly enough to call your doctor and tell him how you feel. If you can't talk to him, call a friend, a relative, a clergyman, anyone who will listen to you. Everyone has a time in their life in which they need the support of others. This is your time.
PF and its pain may mean a radical change in your lifestyle but it won't be permanent. You're in the process of learning how to cope and it's not easy. You can't do it alone; you need a support system and proper pain management. Right now, the most important thing you can do is talk to someone and don't feel that you're some kind of wimp or something if you admit that you've had thoughts of suicide. Please don't act on those thoughts. Instead share them with someone who can help you.
Please let us know how you are because we all care and we are here for you. May you find peace!
Re: SuicideSuzanne D on 8/22/03 at 10:44 (127653)
Kristie, due to computer problems, I wasn't able to check in here yesterday. I briefly scanned the board this morning and saw your post. I am eating lunch quickly in my classroom so I can post a little note to you.
I haven't had time to read all the good responses you received, but I saw RC's and really liked what he said:
'Please let us bear some of your burden. We have all been through the depths, and have helped each other through it...'
On this board, it comes down to that. We may not all agree on every subject, and we come from all walks of life. But we support one another and let each other know we care. That's what keeps me here.
Please write back to us and listen to all the good advice I know you've been given.