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A few good ones

Posted by BrianG on 10/04/03 at 21:43 (132242)

OK, Social is back, how about a few laughs :)

1. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was asalted.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says, 'I'll serve you, but
don't start anything.'
3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, 'Sorry, we don't serve
food in here.'
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, 'A
beer, please, and one for the road.'
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, 'Does this
taste funny to you?'
7. 'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'' 'That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.' 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.' 'I don't believe
you,' said Dolly. 'It's true, no bull!' exclaimed Daisy.
9. A guy walks into the psychiatrist's office, wearing only Glad Wrap
shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'
10. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, 'I've lost my electron.'
The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bulls**t before.
12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, 'My dog's cross-eyed,
is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a
look at him.' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his
teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' What? Because
he is cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy.'
13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.
14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him $50 that he
couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too
15. I went to a seafood disco rave last week...and pulled a mussel.
16. A man walks into a doctor's office. 'What seems to be the problem?'
asks the doctor. 'It's...um...well...I have five penises,' replies the man.
'Blimey!' says the doctor, 'how do your trousers fit?' 'Like a glove.

Re: A few good ones

marie on 10/04/03 at 22:15 (132247)


Thanks...I needed a good laugh.


Re: A few good ones

wendyn on 10/05/03 at 00:37 (132259)

Very good ones Brian!

Re: A few good ones

nancy s. on 10/05/03 at 05:55 (132283)

thanks, brian g.
i tend to go blank when i'm expected to laugh, but there are more than a few good ones here. i laughed out loud, and i'm not even awake yet.