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a pleasant discovery

Posted by nancy s. on 11/12/03 at 20:08 (137303)

not having visited many message boards, i looked for one about a particular issue, with no expectations -- and was surprised to find one with people almost as helpful as everyone here! the issue is that my 82-year-old dad is having hernia surgery on friday. this is not a dangerous surgery, but at his age, and considering his general frailty, i've been pretty worried about his ability to snap back after it. he lives alone in an apt. about 30 minutes from us and enjoys his independence and is involved in many community activities.

there must be a message board for everything now, because yes, there's one for hernia surgery patients! i couldn't believe it. i posted about my dad, told them i'm taking him to the hospital and will be there all day, my sister (a nurse) will come for three days after he's out of the hospital, and then my husband and i will alternate staying with him at his apt until he's better (or bring him home with us if necessary, though he wants to stay near his friends). my brother will come help the following weekend too.

i asked the people on that board what to expect in the way of recovery and what he'll need, and today i got so many helpful replies, i'm just amazed. they're like you all, here! people jumped at the chance to help and genuinely tried to prepare me and my family for what to expect.

i must have forgotten how much this kind of thing means. it brought home anew how people with foot pain feel when they first post here and receive the kind of help everyone here offers. it's a great thing.

nancy
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Re: a pleasant discovery

wendyn on 11/12/03 at 20:09 (137304)

nancy, my son had hernia surgery when he was 2. I guess that doesn't help much - probably things are quite different 80 years later.

Maybe not though..popsicles will make you feel better after surgery at any age.

Re: a pleasant discovery

nancy s. on 11/12/03 at 20:45 (137310)

ok, wendy, i'll add popsicles to the list.

sounds like you went all out on your weekend of replenishment. more power to you!

nancy
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Re: a pleasant discovery

Suzanne D. on 11/12/03 at 21:07 (137312)

You're right, Nancy. I remember how overjoyed I was when I first posted here and received responses!

I wish your father well and hope his surgery is successful.

Take care,
Suzanne :)

Re: a pleasant discovery

Carole C in NOLA on 11/12/03 at 21:21 (137314)

Nancy, your father is so lucky to have a loving family like you, all willing to pitch in and help him when he is in need of help!

Carole C

Re: a pleasant discovery

nancy s. on 11/12/03 at 21:32 (137315)

thanks, suzanne and carole -- i appreciate your thoughts. i feel like the lucky one, to tell you the truth. my father was very stern and remote as i grew up and he was hard to know. but he mellowed a great deal as he aged, and nine years ago he moved to maine to be near me and my husband in his retirement. i've gotten to know him for the first time during these past nine years, through thick and thin, and he has turned out to be a real treat! yes, i'm the lucky one.
thanks again!
nancy
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Re: a pleasant discovery

Necee on 11/12/03 at 21:51 (137317)

Sounds like you are having a wonderful relationship with your father in his 'golden years'.
I was close to my dad, but even more so as he got older. I look back now and feel so blessed that I was able to do things for him and with him as he aged. I can remember feeling so helpless when he was having health problems and wishing I could do more.
Take every moment with him Nancy and embrace it, make memories that will last and make you smile later on.

All the best
Necee

Re: a pleasant discovery

Julie on 11/13/03 at 01:55 (137340)

It's so good that you have such a good relationship with your dad, Nancy. You are both very lucky. I hope his surgery is uneventful and recovery swift.

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Re: a pleasant discovery

Lari S. on 11/13/03 at 18:53 (137428)

Nancy, I hope your dad has a great and uneventful recovery. Will keep him in our prayers. What is the site you went to for the hernia? My dad is having hernia surgery on Nov. 18 and my sister on Dec. 18. I'd like to pass it on to them.
Thanks, Lari

Re: a pleasant discovery

Sher A on 11/13/03 at 21:32 (137454)

Nancy, my prayers are with you and your dad through the surgery and recovery period. Our family is very close (my dad, husband, and me - mom passed away in 1999). He is sure lucky to have you for a daughter and I know that you, your husband, and sister being there will help him recover quickly. Having caring friends (all of us here!) and family improves life dramatically, I believe that.

I think people become closer when they find each other in groups like this board. I emailed my cousin earlier and told him that it seems like the good people are always 'hidden' and that the jerks are always in our faces. Please know that our household will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Re: a pleasant discovery

Dorothy on 11/13/03 at 21:49 (137458)

I really like your comment - 'it seems like the good people are always 'hidden' and that the jerks are always in our faces.'
There is a lot of truth in it.

Re: a pleasant discovery

nancy s. on 11/13/03 at 23:03 (137461)

sher, thank you for your lovely post, which was thoughtful as well as thought-provoking. i'm glad you have a close family too. i've always been close with my sister and two brothers, and we learned in our individual ways to be close with our parents as we (and they) grew older. we're all spread around the northeast now. and you're right: caring friends mean a great (great!) deal too. i don't know what i'd do without them.

i'm behind on reading posts today because i'm distracted by tomorrow. thank you (to you and everyone) for letting me know you'll be thinking of us tomorrow.

nancy
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Re: a pleasant discovery

nancy s. on 11/13/03 at 23:13 (137462)

hi lari: here's the link to that message board:

http://members.boardhost.com/hernia1/

thanks for your kind thoughts. i hope all goes well for your father and sister. your father will have the surgery just four days after mine! is he 'elderly'? if so, you might want to look at all the helpful replies i received there. i had read for quite a while and not found anything specific to the elderly, although relevant posts probably were made in the past -- but that site doesn't have a search feature, so i couldn't locate them. look under 'dustie''s first post.

i wish you and your family the best.

nancy
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Re: a pleasant discovery

nancy s. on 11/13/03 at 23:18 (137463)

lari, the link i just posted takes you directly to the message board. but i'm not sure you can get to the home page from there. in case not, here's that link:

http://216.239.37.104/search?q=cache:4wykG9SHkpYJ:pages.prodigy.net/replyasap/+hernia+surgery&hl=en&ie=UTF-8

nancy
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Re: a pleasant discovery

nancy s. on 11/13/03 at 23:22 (137464)

whoa, how did a tongue-stickout get into that url? i'll try again. if this doesn't work, i found the site by typing ' hernia surgery ' at google. it wasn't too far down the list. good luck.

http://216.239.37.104/search?q=cache:4wykG9SHkpYJ:pages.prodigy.net/replyasap/+hernia+surgery&hl=en&ie=UTF-8

nancy
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Re: a pleasant discovery

Julie on 11/14/03 at 04:21 (137470)

Nancy, I looked at that message board and the thread with your questions and the responses, and it really was a pleasant discovery. It's so like heelspurs in the willingness of people to share their experience, and it's so encouraging to find that this isn't unique here, but going on all over the place. Thanks for telling us about it - and I'm glad that you got such helpful information.

Get those car keys whatever way you can!

Re: Hope the surgery goes well! NM

Kathy G on 11/14/03 at 07:52 (137477)

We'll be thinking of you!

Re: a pleasant discovery

Lari S. on 11/14/03 at 11:47 (137493)

Thanks Nancy. I checked out the site and found some good info to pass along. My dad is 72, and in pretty good health. He is scheduled for outpatient surgery. My sister's surgery will be a lot more extensive. She had colon cancer surgery in 2000, and they had to take 3 ft of colon, do a complete hysterectomy, and took most of the stomach muscle due to the spreading of the cancer. Since they had to take so much stomach muscle, the surgeon will be 'adding' some muscle to repair the hernia.
Lari