Home The Book Dr Articles Products Message Boards Journal Articles Search Our Surveys Surgery ESWT Dr Messages Find Good Drs video

For Parents everywhere

Posted by Pauline on 11/25/03 at 04:59 (138598)

Found this little poem and it brought back many memories. The authors name was not listed with the poem. For our new Daddy, Richard C.Ped., and all others out there enjoy.

SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
in hopes we could manage 'Some Assembly Required.'

The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
while Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
a kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot!
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat
- let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
'Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
if we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!'

When what to my worrying eyes should appear
but 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear.
With each part numbered and every slot named,
so if we failed, only we could be blamed.

More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
all over the carpet they were scattered about.
'Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!'

'Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand.'
'Honey,' said hubby, 'you just glued my hand.'
And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
that all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact

To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
with 'assembly required' till morning's first light.
We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.

The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
before we attached the last rod and last pin.
Then laying the tools away in the chest,
we fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.

But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
'This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.
Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
and not have to run to the store for a thing!

We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
for the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!'
Then off to dreamland and sweet repose
I gratefully went, though I suppose
there's something to say for those self-deluded...
I'd forgotten that BATTERIES are never included!

Re: For Parents everywhere

Suzanne D. on 11/25/03 at 06:25 (138603)

Oh, does THAT bring back memories, Pauline! :) Thanks for sharing it. I distinctly remember a Christmas 20 years ago when my daughter (then 2) received a Strawberry Shortcake stove, sink, and refrigerator. It was made of some kind of pressed wood, and there must have been 50 or 60 screws included along with little knobs, etc. Needless to say it took much longer than my husband anticipated to put together, but he must have done a good job because it is still standing in our basement! She has refused for it to be given away.

Suzanne :)

Re: For Parents everywhere

nancy s. on 11/25/03 at 08:05 (138612)

this is cute, pauline. i'm not a parent, but i can relate because of what my mechanically challenged parents must have gone through at christmas time with four kids.

in fact, i could never sleep during the night before christmas. more than once i'd tiptoe out into the hall, look over the bannister, and watch my parents feverishly wrapping and assembling and placing stuff around -- all the while, munching on the snacks we kids had left on the mantel for santa's reindeer. i felt very guilty for a few years there, pretending that i still believed in santa: i didn't want to spoil their fun!

nancy
.

Re: For Parents everywhere

Richard, C.Ped on 11/25/03 at 15:02 (138658)

I caught my dad trying to put together a basketball goal one year. haha. I played Santa with my cousins who are 10 and 13 years younger than me. I was the one who put together the bicycles. aaaahhhh. haha
Richard

Re: For Parents everywhere

Dorothy on 11/25/03 at 15:26 (138665)

WHAAATTTT????!!!! NO SANTA????!!!!! WHERE DID YOU GET THIS INFORMATION???

Re: Santa Claus

nancy s. on 11/25/03 at 16:13 (138680)

i KNEW i shouldn't have told you!
i believe it was my first foot doctor who gave me the bad news.

nancy
.

Re: Santa Claus

Kathy G on 11/25/03 at 17:12 (138694)

Yes, Dorothy, there is a Santa Claus.

There now, don't you feel better? And that quote was original; I just thought of it off the top of my head. :D