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Why We Need Drug Companies

Posted by Dorothy on 10/29/04 at 12:17 (162420)

The top ten reasons why the U.S. needs more pharmaceutical companies
by Mike Adams

1. Cures: We need drug companies to keep finding cures for major
diseases. Look at all the cures they've found so far like... well...
okay, they haven't actually found any cures yet. But maybe they can at
least cure all the bogus diseases they made up like 'social anxiety
disorder' and 'attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.'

2. National Security: U.S. drug companies are crucial for protecting
our national security by banning prescription drugs from untrustworthy
countries like Canada -- which we all know is just a rabble of
war-mongering nitwits who invade third world countries for sport (and
then lie about why they did).

3. The Economy: never mind that most pharmaceutical companies sell
useless products at ridiculous prices. All that money changing hands
is great for the economy. You may be diseased, but think on the bright
side: your Big Pharma stocks are soaring! (With all that money, you
might even be able to afford health insurance...)

4. Doctors: Without the pharmaceutical companies, what would all the
doctors do for work? After all, most so-called 'medicine' involves
little more than scribbling out a prescription for the latest
mass-advertised drug. Without drugs, doctors might actually have to
TALK to patients. Horrors!

5. Ethics: With Enron gone, we need a new, national example of strong
ethics that properly communicate the essence of American corporate
greed. Pharmaceutical companies could make Enron look like the Girl

6. Political Fundraising: We need drug companies to support the
re-election efforts of honest national leaders like President Bush who,
as we all know, is crucial for protecting our civil liberties.

7. Publishers: Without drug company advertising, who would support
all the newspaper and magazine publishers in this country? After all,
many print publications are now little more than pro-drug infomercial
rags dressed up to look like credible news magazines.

8. Patient Responsibility: Without drug companies shifting health
responsibility away from patients, the people would actually have to
think for themselves and take control of their own health. That's
simply too much to ask from a dumbed-down population where no child
was left behind (except for the ones who were).

9. The Environment: Drug companies set an excellent example of fair
and balanced environmental policy, which is why antidepressant drugs
are now showing up in the water supply. Their new environmental slogan?
'You take it, you flush it, we fuggedaboutit!'

10. The Elderly: Everybody agrees we need honest U.S. businesses to
look out for the interests of our elders. Pharmaceutical companies
handle this with finesse by taking over the full monthly incomes of
most retired folks. It's a genuine public service.

List created on 10/29/2004 by Mike Adams, health columnist,
May be freely republished and shared, with proper credit. Please
forward (with credit) to all who need a health-enhancing laugh. Find
more health humor and health commentary at http://www.NewsTarget.com

Re: Why We Need Drug Companies

Linda V on 10/29/04 at 15:40 (162432)

I hear the newest Michael Moore movie will be about drug companies...yikes..thats sure to be 'interesting.'

Re: Why We Need Drug Companies

Ed Davis, DPM on 10/29/04 at 22:48 (162458)

The situation is a mixed bag. Certainly, drug companies have come out with life saving antibiotics. The big problem we have in the US is that drug research takes up so much of academia's and the FDA's resources that too little attention is left for the non-drug aspects of medical care -- ESWT, nutraceuticals, physical modalities, chiropractic. All of those areas are in need of attention and study but are regularly pushed 'to the side' due to too much of our focus being on drugs.