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Having a bad day after a bad night!

Posted by Kathy G on 11/16/04 at 10:41 (164053)

Where else can I moan and groan? I'm sure my husband is sick of me. Heck, I'm sick of me. Yesterday, I did too much. It was a beautiful day and I walked more than I usually do and then I went food shopping and took my time in order to best utilize my coupons and get some things I will need for Thanksgiving. I meant to buy just a few things at this particular market but I got carried away and then had to bring in all the bags and put everything away.

Last night, I think I was awake more than I was asleep. If it wasn't a hot flash awakening me (I never had them before and I'm considered to be finished that stage of menopause.), it was my feet actually cramping up which hardly ever happens to me. Or it was my neck which apparently has severe OA which is really acting up right now. I guess I could have it xrayed but why subject myself to needless radiation to be told what we all know it is? Or my stupid TMJ because my night guard doesn't fit now that the idiot dentist did the fillings. Or my hands because I overdid it, carrying in the bags. Or my hip, which aches when I walk a great deal and which I forgot to mention to my Pod when he re-did my orthotics. It's on the side where I have the shorter leg and in which I have a small lift. And it hurts only when I sleep on that side, which, of course, is the side I sleep on. And if I sleep on the other side, my shoulder and arm goes numb so that doesn't work either.

I'm just tired of hurting in so many places, all the time.

I know - this will pass. I'm not depressed, just frustrated. Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if I hadn't done all the 'right' things like exercising, not smoking, not being overweight, eating properly. Maybe I'd be healthy as a horse! Both my sisters are but then, they didn't inherit our mother's lousy body, just her lousy psyche. I still think I came out ahead in that department.

Isn't it interesting that Julie, Suzanne, Dorothy and I are all having foot problems? Even though we live in different parts of the country (or the world) and cite different reasons, it's rather strange, isn't it?

Okay, time to stop feeling sorry for myself! But it's nice to vent and not feel as though I'm burdening anyone in my life.

My close friend who has RA just found out that she has breast cancer. Now there's a woman who has reason to feel sorry for herself and she's amazing. She's so optimisitic and upbeat. I remind myself of her and then I feel guilty about grousing about a little pain.

Sorry - no more complaints! But thanks for being there, friends!

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

Linda V on 11/16/04 at 11:07 (164054)

Kathy,
Be good to yourself. Make a nice cup of tea, some munchies, and set yourself in front of the TV and catch up on all those shows you taped. Or do a bubble bath..I was never a bath person, but I have to admit I am getting addicted to them. I just shower off at the end.
Went to my dentist for check up yesterday. I really like that practice. And no one mentioned whitening. They have literature at the counter if interested, but no push. He is not far from Zylas...will give you the address if you think you want to try them. He also teaches..so is up to date on all the new stuff.
I also had a pity pot day yesterday. Allowed myself to cry for a half hour or so, got it out, and now its better. Got to go make myself some comfort food for lunch..grilled cheese sandwiches somehow always work for me!

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

john h on 11/16/04 at 11:53 (164057)

Kathy: you never know what may be lurking out there. This past week a 57 year old lady annouced she was having twins and then a great grandmother of 59 announced she was having twins and she had previously had her tubes tide. She blamed it on her husband.

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

Dorothy on 11/16/04 at 12:05 (164058)

Kathy G -

No 'sorry' needed! We're all right there with you (well, so to speak - don't get worried about having to make a whole bunch of grilled cheese sandwiches for all of us!) and understand full well the frustration and, yes, the 'self-pity party' as well - so what if we feel sorry for ourselves now and again. I spent some time doing that very thing the other day so let me exonerate you (of course, you have to exonerate me, too...) You have a lot to deal with and right now everything is acting up, so frustration and weariness of it is completely understandable.
I'm sorry about your friend and hope that she has a good outcome.

I also noted the same thing (you said: Isn't it interesting that Julie, Suzanne, Dorothy and I are all having foot problems? Even though we live in different parts of the country (or the world) and cite different reasons, it's rather strange, isn't it?) and thought it was interesting and odd. I have been known to harbor theories of the cosmos, stuffed dolls and long needles (can you spell voo-d--??) - Just kidding.

As to your wondering what would have happened if you hadn't 'done all the right things', well I often wonder that too (we are on some sort of similar wavelength today, it seems...) especially when I consider a close relative - who shall remain nameless but she is someone's mother! - and she has smoked for DECADES, never has done any kind of exercise, casual or organized, stays up late and doesn't go out in the sun, and isn't really very nice - she's closing on 90 years old and is healthy as a horse!! Let the Pity Party Begin!!!!

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

Dorothy on 11/16/04 at 12:13 (164061)

You gave me the best laugh I have had in days!! I am laughing as I write and I thank you for this great, fabulous laugh...

By the way, all this mid-life and beyond 'birthin' babies' is NUTS and the work of egos that are out of control!!!
(My unrestrained opinion...)

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

Susan S on 11/16/04 at 14:30 (164066)

My step-grandmother lived to almost 99 with hardly a sick day in her life. For breakfast every day she had eggs, greasy sausage, inch-thick toast with so much butter it was translucent. The closest she ever came to a green vegetable was green beans boiled for hours with fat-back. Plus she drank cases of those 6-ounce cokes. When people asked her how she stayed so healthy, she said, 'Well, I never exercise.' All of that is true although she was actually very active. Funny you said 'whoever's' mother isn't very nice because I asked my uncle once how he thought she stayed so healthy and he said, 'Because she's mean.'

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

Carole C in NOLA on 11/16/04 at 18:08 (164079)

Julie, Suzanne, Dorothy, and Kathy are all having foot problems? Now here's something else to wonder about. Even though my PF seems to have resolved, and I'm not having foot problems, for the past week I've been tossing and turning and unable to sleep much due to sciatic nerve and associated hip pain problems.

I think the weather changes are responsible in my case! Or else, bad luck.

Carole C

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

marie on 11/16/04 at 18:24 (164084)

Kathy, you did have a bad day! It's ok to rant a little when your body is giving out on you. It's so frustrating to have to plan simple every day events around your aches and pains. I saw my brother over the weekend at my nieces wedding. He has Multiple Sclerosis. He's not doing so well either. I noticed him crying at the table and went to comfort him. He was so disapointed that he was so tired he wanted to stay longer but his body had just given up on him. He sobbed so in my arms. I told him I understood what it was like to have to plan your whole day around pain and discomfort.......I asked myself earlier......How am I going to stay awake through the reception, will I be able to dance and so on?.......Sometimes I wonder how I got in this stupid body. My brother is failing so if a few of you can keep him in your prayers I'd be grateful.

Kathy.....we all understand just how you feel. Give yourself a break! Splurge.......eat 5 m&ms today! ;)

Thinkin' of ya marie

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

Suzanne D. on 11/16/04 at 18:41 (164089)

Kathy, I sure hope that tonight is better for you and that tomorrow is the start of even better days ahead! It IS frustrating to hurt - and to hurt in so many places at the same time would wear anyone down. I'm glad you vented and hope it helped. Don't be sorry; you know we understand!

Your comment about wondering how you would have been if you hadn't taken such good care of yourself reminded me of what I used to wonder when my daughters were young. They were both sick a great deal with bronchitis, pharangotrachiitis (or however you spell that!), strep, viruses, etc. Then I saw children year after year at school who came without jackets in the dead of winter, who looked unkept and who obviously got themselves ready in the morning, and they never missed a day of school! Sometimes they came sick, but more often than not, they were the healthy, 'tough' ones who seemed to be able to throw off a cold in a few days without it going into something major. I used to wonder if I tried TOO hard to keep my girls healthy.

I also thought the same thing - several of us having more pain right now seems rather strange. I do think the weather change has something to do with it and, in my case, stress as well. I have been told that I look 'really tired' by two or three different people over the past few days. That's the way I tend to operate: hold up during the worst of a situation and then gradually wear down later. I'm not a crier or one to elicit much sympathy; I just go along like the proverbial tortoise in the fable, trying to do what I need to do. But then sometimes it gets too much, and I start wearing down. I think that's where I am right now. I have promised myself to go to bed earlier tonight and try to get some extra rest.

Take care, and I hope you rest better tonight!
Suzanne :)

Re: Marie...

Suzanne D. on 11/16/04 at 18:44 (164091)

I will remember your brother, Marie.

Suzanne :)

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

Dorothy on 11/16/04 at 19:59 (164106)

Marie -
MS is a terrible disease, isn't it (as if there are any good ones) and I'm really sorry that your brother is in so much misery. It's hard to see people we love in pain and be unable to do anything to make it go away - although I'm sure your love and caring help. As you know better than I, MS brings those surprising remissions sometimes and I hope that can happen for your brother. That's one of the difficult aspects of MS, the way it can come and then go, seemingly arbitrarily. Terrible to live with that uncertainty and terrible to live with its certainty. I'm sorry you all have that in your lives and hope he can find strength and comfort to deal with what he has to deal with.

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

JudyS on 11/16/04 at 20:31 (164118)

John - to me the most misleading thing about the stories of older women giving birth is that it's not entirely all that 'natural'. The 57-year old was implanted with a doner egg and sperm. Joan Lunden used a surrogate who was inseminated with Joan's husband's sperm.......
and so on and so on. I'm not sure if there are any stories out there of older women having babies completely naturally.
Joan Lunden brought up a good point - why all the hoopla about older women becoming parents - older men have been doing it for a good long while!

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

JudyS on 11/16/04 at 20:32 (164119)

Dorothy - do you suppose the consistency of foot problems amongst several here could be attributed to the onset of cold weather?

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

Lynn F. on 11/16/04 at 22:25 (164136)

JudyS - For me, the colder weather seems to have a major impact on my pain level. And when it rains... FAHGETTABOWDIT!!

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!cold weather

Lori S. on 11/17/04 at 00:14 (164139)

My feet were horrible last spring. Every time a cold front came through I was dying. I think the weather plays a big part in my feet, as well as other things, like my hands, wrists, etc.
hope everyone feels better,
Lorinda

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

john h on 11/17/04 at 09:45 (164157)

Right you are Judy but it usually falls on the wife to take care of those kids for the most part. The 59 year old woman seems to have to be having a natual birth and she was surely supprised when I saw her on TV. She found out she was pregnant when she went to Doctor for some other reason (may have been weight gain).

On of my wife's friends father was a Doctor and was age 75 when she was born.

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

Dorothy on 11/17/04 at 10:24 (164161)

Cheryl Tiegs also used a surrogate mother - and, as you say, so on and on and on...

I think that one of the problems with this is the dishonesty of it. In the popular press, these births are not presented as events of medical intervention and extraordinary medical manipulation; they are presented as 'Cheryl Tiegs (or you name the middle-aged woman)is the mother of twins...' as if we are all to believe that she really IS a 'super'-model!!' It should also be noted that there is extraordinary money involved with these procedures. It should also be noted that there is extraordinary stress brought to bear on someone's body, whether it's a surrogate throught the act of pregnancy usually for money, or an over-age mother who takes massive amounts of hormones, or an egg-donor who takes massive amounts of hormones. But I think the most insidious aspect of it is the extreme hubris and the negation of nature. Nature has done a fine job of arriving at a formula that is very nice for increasing the likelihood that everything will work the way it should for the health and necessary caretaking of our young.
To me, there is something truly grotesque about women (or men, for that matter) beyond appropriate age becoming parents. Children should be parented by people who can move, think, sing and dance with agility and flexibility and energy, people who can make good mother's milk, go without sleep, and look like other parents (without artificial aids). I just read a wonderful memoir and the author's parents were older than those of his schoolmates; it was an embarrassment to him and a source of feeling awkward and odd. These older parents should do the right thing and be GRANDPARENTS to someone! I'm not really concerned about the longevity issue because none of us has any guarantee that we will see our children into adulthood, although these people are ignoring statistics as well as all nature! but it's just the imposition of MY wants over the natural order of things and even over the needs and wants of the baby being brought into the world (to satisfy those selfish wants). ADOPT if having a child is the desire. If giving birth is the desire at all costs, then there is some other motive at work. The REAL fact of life that somehow never gets taught well is this: WE CAN'T ALWAYS HAVE WHAT WE WANT!! Now some people, because of money, fame, power, etc. can manipulate the world more than the rest of us to try to get more of what they want - but even they are subject to the primacy of nature - and nature WILL out. And do I need to remind you all that Shakespeare wrote: insanity will out. This whole era of old women birthin' babies is case in point.... It ain't right!! It ain't natural!! In those cases, it's about the woman and not about the baby. Finally, just because we CAN do something (e.g. with medical interventions and money) does not mean we SHOULD do something.

Re: Dorothy

Julie on 11/17/04 at 10:51 (164166)

That's a fine post. I think so because I agree with every word of it. :) so of course you are right.

Especially I agree with your final sentence.
,

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

marie on 11/17/04 at 16:20 (164189)

Thanks Suzanne and Doeothy. My brother is progressive. He has never had a remission and never will. He has made it this far because of extreme medical intervention For some reason men seem to be more prone to progressive MS. He's 57 and he's just plain worn out. Thanks for your kind words...they're appreciated.

I think everyone here can relate a little to MS. Tarsal Tuneel Syndrome does mimic MS in many ways. Not being able to bear weight would be one similarity.

later marie

Re: Not quite so bad a day yesterday and I'm hoping tomorrow is better!

Kathy G on 11/18/04 at 09:12 (164246)

Thanks for all the kindness. I was thorughly disgusted with myself but I truly had no one to blame but myself for overdoing it.

I called my orthodontist and have an appointment Monday morning for him to adjust my biteguard. Then, on Tuesday, I'm seeing my chiropractor to see if he can do something about my neck which is so affected by my TMJ and the fact that the biteguard is off, along with the stupid OA. Taking decisive action helped.

I believe that the problems we're all having stem from the change in the weather and the holidays approaching. My chiro doesn't set up a whole calendar of visits for people; you call him if you need to see him. He says he sees some people only twice a year: when it gets cold and when it gets hot.

Add to all that any external stress, which I've been experiencing as have some of you, and I think it results in sore feet and assorted other aches and pains. The holidays put undo stress on us, even if we're fortunate enough to have families who are congenial, which mine is.

My mother always said my head was my weak point. I used to tell her she should rephrase that :), but what she meant was I often got headaches when I was under stress. I was thirty-seven when she died and although I had chronic muscle spasms, I didn't have the problems I have today. Gosh, now she'd probably say my body was my weak point! XD

Re: Having a bad day after a bad night!

john h on 11/18/04 at 11:02 (164257)

Well put Dorothy. I noted to my wife last night that Sherril Tiegs is now 56. My how the time does fly. My office is two blocks from an abortion clinic. For the past three days there have been protesters with signs all over the place. Seems to go in cycles. Do not know what brought them out today unless it is the opening of the Library? The Library is about 7 miles away and no one will see them. I am in commercial real estate and a few years ago was showing a building to a possible buyer. It was a former abortion clinic. Without getting into the issue one way or the other I sure had this wierd feeling as I went from room to room with the client and thinking about all the mental anguish that must have been experienced in this building no matter what your feelings on the issue is.