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"The Month After Christmas"

Posted by Suzanne D. on 1/04/05 at 22:07 (166517)

I received this in an e-mail and thought some of you might get a smile from reading it:

Subject: The Month After Christmas

It was the month after Christmas and all through the house
nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste,
at the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

the wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
and the way I'd never said, 'No Thank you, please.'

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
and prepared once again to do battle with dirt.

I said to myself, as I only can
'you can't spend a winter disguised as a man!'

So---away with the last of the sour cream dip,
get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

every last bit of food that I like must be banished
till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie----not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome and life is a bore,
but isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: "The Month After Christmas"

Dorothy on 1/04/05 at 23:32 (166520)

Oh, boy! Can I relate!! This hits too close to home. We had cornbread tonight with leftover 'hoppin' John' from New Year's Day. Pies are all gone; candy, cookies, too, but we've got some birthdays coming up in the next two weeks and - oh, boy! ... I'm feeling pretty plump.
Happy New Year, Suzanne.

Re: "The Month After Christmas"

Julie on 1/05/05 at 02:41 (166529)

Lovely, Suzanne! Thanks for the laugh that has just begun my morning.

Actually, though, although in all previous years I'd have been able to relate, this year I don't: at the start of my little back 'ordeal' my appetite vanished, and I dropped almost ten pounds last month. This made me so happy that I vowed not to let them creep back, and they haven't. I can't say I've been particularly abstemious over the Christmas poriod - just a little bit careful. And the lost pounds have made me feel so much better - a real 'plus' during this taxing time.

That first line is a corker! Thanks again.


Re: "The Month After Christmas"

Kathy G on 1/05/05 at 08:49 (166539)

Very good, Suzanne! :) I waited to weigh myself because I was sure I had gained a ton but I actually only gained a half a pound! Of course, I'm already heavier than I want to be so that's small consolation. And I didn't say 'no' to anything that I wanted to eat because I believe in enjoying everything that goes with the holidays! Ah, but that extra cherry cake I made that's down in the freezer is beckoning! I am being extremely strong-willed and ignoring it (for now).

Julie, I suppose that's one side effect of your back pain that's a positive and kudos for keeping the weight off! As we all know, the slimmer you are when you go in for any sugery, the better off you are.

Re: "The Month After Christmas"

Julie on 1/05/05 at 11:57 (166561)

Right, Kathy, and I am now just about my 'all right' weight. Not quite my'best' weight, which is about 10 pounds less, but all right. My weight has always been a big issue with me, and I can't begin to tell you what a difference it has made to me these past few weeks to be able to feel 'all right' about it.

Aren't we silly?


Re: "The Month After Christmas"

JudyS on 1/05/05 at 12:42 (166564)

Julie, for several years now you've set the standard here for support and positive outlook. Perhaps now it's our turn to reflect what you've demonstrated.
From initial back pain in November to back surgery in January is a very, very quick and intense thing to accomodate. Yet you are doing so in your usual dignified manner. But I hope you'll let us accomodate you in these next days as you prepare, in many ways, for surgery and then as you recuperate (may I reccomend a comfy sofa and a laptop? !). We were all here for foot pain years ago, but now we're here for eachother. Lean on us - let us repay you.

Re: "The Month After Christmas"

Julie on 1/05/05 at 17:11 (166578)

Judy, I included you in my thanks on another thread, but this one of yours deserves a special thank you, so - thank you. Thanks too for your email - I'll reply tomorrow.