You know you have PF when...
After an unusually sleepless night brought on by painful feet, aching achilles tendons, hot and cold flashes and ill-remembered fitfull dreams, I decided to try to cheer myself up. So here goes...
"You know you have PF when..."
1. When you meet someone new, the first thing you do is look to see what kind of shoes they wear.
2. When shopping for groceries, what you buy and how much you pay are not nearly as important as navigating the isles efficiently and how short the lines are.
3. You've bought $800 worth of shoes in the past three months, none of which you can wear.
4. E-commerce would be your _only_ commerce if you had a choice.
5. You envy unfit "over-rotund" folk walking around clearly pain-free in feet that are literally overflowing their too-worn, too-small sandals. (Oh, to be able to be so careless once again!)
6. Your foot pain prevents you from doing things even in your dreams.
Play along at home! Add to the list!
(Posted by john a on 9/03/99)
... you're with your 85 year old mother at the Mall and YOU need a wheelchair.
... your serious reply to your podiatrists question of "How are your feet?" is "Well, if I don't stand on them or walk on them...they're not too bad really."
... when you've been sitting too long and you have to get up and the first 10 words out of your mouth are "OUCH OUCH...OUCH OUCH...OUCH OUCH...OUCH OUCH...OUCH OUCH!"
... people don't ask how YOU are, they ask how your feet are.
... just thinking of the mall makes your feet hurt.
... you've filled your freezer with frozen peas... not to eat but to use as ice packs for your feet.
... you can't focus on a conversation when you're standing up.......
... your FRIENDS start to base there decisions on places to go so that you will be able to sit down!
...you hobble from bench to bench at the course because 18 holes of MINI GOLF is just WAY TOO MUCH WALKING
... you discover that a mini golf putter turned upside down makes a handy cane - and YOU don't care who sees you using it (your children, however, are horribly humiliated and are now emotionally scarred for life)
... you communicate more with scotts message board than you do with your wife or husband. [and you know who "scott" is.]
... you REALLY don't care if tennis shoes look stupid with a business suit....they're comfortable!
... your friends and their friends and their friends ask you about their foot problems because you know so much about feet.
... and you have answers for them.
... you are the first person to sit down when standing in a crowd of people - you sit down before any of the 70 and 80 years olds and when they shuffle over toward you to find a place to sit and there is none - you look the other way because there is no way you are going to stand up to give them your seat.
... "shop to you drop" only takes 30 minutes.
... you used to bring a bottle of wine to a friends, now you bring a bag of ice and a plastic bucket for your feet
... the mall is no longer your favorite place.
... your husband can out shop you.
... you realize that you are never going to be the same again.
... you used to laugh at your Absentminded Professor father for wearing his "Air Jesus" Birkenstocks, and you now have a pair. (no religious offense meant!)
... you are the last person to leave the movie theater because you have to get your feet moving.
... you wish the dogs could wait a while before going outside in the mornings.
... you don't think twice about spending $110.00 on a pair of sandals.
... you see a really cute pair of shoes (that a year ago you would have bought in an instant), but all you can think about is how much they would hurt your feet!
... your boyfriend will give you a foot massage EVERY night. (It's therapy, right???)
... you have a rolling pin at home and one at the office and you don't bake...
... you are out with friends and you are constantly saying' Hey wait up guys...'
... you would like to hug the person that built the house you live in because they put a bathroom off of the master bedroom. (No long, painful trips down the hall in the middle of the night!!)
... you definately need a golf cart.
... you always look for seat in bus/subway, but still hesitate to seat at handicapped.
.. you have ice packs stored in the handy place in your freezer where you used to have ice cream.
... you can cite chapter and verse from Scott's PF "Book" when someone asks a question
... you no longer laugh at the "Little Rascal" and "Lark" powered wheelchair commercials, but consider calling their 1-800 numbers for the free brouchures.
... you know what all these acronyms mean: TTS, TENS, ESWT, EPF
... your appartment has become a sort of spider sanctuary because you haven't vacuumed in months
... you've grown a beard so you don't have to stand up and shave everyday
... your browser bookmarks or favorites relating to foot medicine, footwear and orthotic inserts now outnumber all others.
... you walk past all the nice shoe shops without a glance, then pause in front of a window display of clumpy footwear in boring colours and think: "hmmm, those look nice"
... all your friends, who used to complain about how fast you walk, are now way ahead of you
... you go to a wedding (wearing smart clothes and clumpy footwear, of course) and during the ceremony when the vicar asks the congregation to stand - you don't
... you are at the wedding reception and the the jovial groom insists you join the dancing and you debate briefly in your mind whether to burst into tears and run screaming from the hall (run? - chance would be a fine thing), or just smile and sort of bop about awhile, to be polite
... you hold up loads of people on London Underground because going up all those blasted stairs and escalators can be quite useful for some leisurely foot stretching (definitely NOT recommended during rush hour!)
... after a tiring day at work, you wait ages for a bus from the station to home even though it is only a 15 minute walk and the crappy bus service is unreliable
... you delay getting up in the morning until your bladders about to burst, because that pain would be less then your first step!
... you're actually going to give up carbohydrates.
... you wish everyone could understand the pain in your foot.
... you'll run and try just about everything you see on this website to help yourself!
... you go on vacation and you have overdone it. The Coke bottles have melted and you are not near the condo you rented. You send your husband into a fast food joint for ice because your feet hurt too bad to go yourself. He wisely tells them someone got hurt and needs ice. The real explanation would probably get a wierd look and no ice.
... you talk to your car and thank it for getting you from place to place because a breakdown would be catastrophic.
... you go to the doctor, get a little information, and then go home and figure it out for yourself (you have plenty of time to use the trial and error method).
... you can spot another foot pain sufferer the minute you see them.
... you have your ice pack or frozen bottle of water in the freezer at work and can't wait to get a few minutes to use it and hope you can sit for at least 10 minutes without interruption.
... you drop a quarter onto the ground after trying to stand in one spot for 60 seconds to feed a Coke machine..........and leave it on the ground rather than picking it up because YOU JUST HAVE TO GET OFF OF YOUR FEET and SIT DOWN!
... you drop a dollup of pudding on the floor near the refrigerator, and you do not clean it up right away because that means you will have to walk across the kitchen to get something to wipe it up with.
... you meet a new guy, who, as a matter of fact is 25, (and you are 35).....he asks you out to go dancing, and you laugh your ass off.....** (then you cry)**
... you drive up to a store and pull into the handicap space, and know in your heart that you would rather take a chance on getting the ticket (and paying the fine) that having to walk 1/2 a mile from the only other parking place in the parking lot.
... the only thing that hurts more than shoes on your feet is no shoes on your feet.
... you really understand why your horse did not want to walk ANYWHERE when he was lame. And why when he got better he would run and buck in total glee.
... you hold onto a grocery cart with a death grip, knowing full well you eventually have to leave the store and the cart and "go it alone".
... you look in the job ads for a job and find all the ones you can do or are experienced at or is the dream job, you can't apply for because of your feet problem... :(
... people don't even ask anymore why you're limping.
... you have more shoes than Imelda Marcos, but none of them are attractive.
... you don't attend formal events because you can't wear the right shoes.
... you like long movies.
... you find yourself singing, "All I want for Christmas is two good feet."
... you try to explain to a non-sufferer how funny this list is...
... you know you have Plantar Faccitis when you can not only pronounce it - but you can spell it too!!!!!
... you don't care how much $ a pair of shoes cost as long as they don't hurt your feet.
... your goal in life is to walk to the mailbox without pain.
... you have shoes laying all over the house in different rooms with different depths, styles, heights, and material that correspond with different gel heel pads, innersoles, heel cups, and arch supports, and you have trouble remembering which goes with which.
... when you are able to walk 5 minutes on a treadmill without pain and you boast to your friends that you have just achieved a feat equivalent to scaling Mount Everest
... you contact the Barnum and Bailey circus school to find out how long it would take to learn to walk on your hands!!!!
... you carefully plan your trips up and down steps to make the most of your effort.
... you know you have PF when you have located and used all possible drive through windows.
... you know you have PF when you know what PF means.
... you know you have PF when your shoes are all over the house and you don't care.
... you know you have PF when your mom says you left a pair of shoes at her house and you know that is impossible and they belong to someone else.
... when people tell you that "youre not limping too badly today, must be a good day...."
... you have to plan your route in the grocery store AND you will kill the first person that trys to park closer to the store than you can. (A new type of "road rage".)
... you notice a dent in the couch cushions from sitting on your ass so much.
... you can now laugh about the times you were crawling around the house on hands and knee's because you hated those damn crutches and your knee's turned red.
... you noticed that your vocabulary changed to something you heard at a truck stop.
... you look at your feet and wonder how they can actually look so darn normal yet cause so much pain.
... you remember the "good old days" when you never even gave it a thought about what you'd wear on your feet that day or how far you'd have to walk.
... you find yourself limiting the amount of fluids after 8 and wondering if "someday" you'd actually end up with a portable potty.
... you look at people twice your age walking around with no problem, moving twice as fast as you, wearing the cheapest shoes around and you wonder what's wrong with this picture....
... no matter where you are you just start stretching your calves...at the movies, in a store, at church, wherever!
... you avoid getting out of bed in the morning as long as possible.
... the excuse of "Not tonight dear, I have a headache" would be a welcome change to your husband from "Not tonight dear, my feet hurt"
... your husband dreams of you wearing high heels and you dream of just wearing shoes that your orthotics fit in
... you're standing in the soft drink isle at the grocery store, checking out the shape of soda bottles.
... your feet begin to glow in the dark from too many X rays
... only your feet have hot flashes under the covers
... after shopping with your girlfriend you ask her if she could drop you off in front of your house... and she lives across the street
... you can't remember when the last time was your feet didn't hurt!
... you start to envy the Bionic Man/Woman because they could get NEW feet!!!!!
... your heel(s) hurt when you got up this morning ... assuming that they didn't already hurt all night ... and all day yesterday ... and that it doesn't happen EVERY morning ... and EVERY night ... and EVERY day.
... you begin to drive EVERYWHERE, even if the destination is less than a block away...
... you can't wait to get to the computer each day to see if a new cure has been found at heelspurs.com!!!
... you go all the way upstairs to ice your foot only to realize you left your water bottle in the freezer!
... the first thing out of your mouth in the morning is not "good morning" but rather "my feet hurt!!"
... you make sure your bladder doesn't get too full because you don't know how long it will take you to get to the potty.
... you've just read all of these replies, because you really can relate to the humor and truth in every one of them!!!!!