Please don't take your suicidal thoughts lightly - as a former psychiatric nurse, I have seen a lot of depressed people, and suicidal people, and it is very serious business.
Please speak with your dr or a counselor about getting some anti-depressant medications - I have felt much better since taking Elavil (amytriptiline) 50 mg at bedtime. The purpose of the medication was for pain control, along with neurontin, and my dr. says the amount I'm on is not a therapeutic level for depression (would need more for control of depression), but I don't care what he says, I have stopped having suicidal thoughts since I started taking it. The pain is only slightly better with the meds, so I don't think its helped that much with the pain, but I sure have a better ability to cope with it and a brighter outlook on life.
Please don't let yourself slip into a really dark depression - my prayers are with you.