Yes, afraid, you hit the nail in the heel, scared to death that the next step will tear one or the other or both, scared of ending up in a scooter and getting the looks I used to give people who look perfectly normal but are too lazy to walk so they ride around in little scooters. I want to apologize to everyone I ever thought that about, what a self-righteous little prig I was! This is a hidden disability, no blood means no pain, well if that's all it takes to get someone to believe me I'll stab myself, it couldn't hurt any worse than it does already!
Sometimes I cry because I'm in pain; sometimes I cry because I'm so tired of being in pain; and sometimes I cry because of what my life used to be and how I'm afraid it won't ever be that way again.
I understand that, at least my husband understands, but I'm not sure how long the people at work will put up with it. Chronic pain is depressing, and doctors tell us there is no hope, who wouldn't get depressed?! So sorry you have to deal with both feet and a bum knee, I can at least hop around on the 'good' foot.
My good thoughts go out to you, thanks for the support, somehow it's easier to endure when you know that if it gets to be too much there are people who understand and will just let you spew out all your fear and anger and frustration. Read you on the board after Xmas, try to have a good holiday.